Dilemma over potential house move

It's always worth asking yourself the question 'What happens if they move again?' Where does that leave you?
From my own experience with (several) grandchildren, once they start senior school the dynamic changes. They still love you for sure but they belong a bit more to the world and a bit less to you. Which is as it should be.
Good luck with whatever you decide - I think you know the answer

If you are happy where you are then I would stay, you are not going to be needed as your grandchild is getting older.

I assume you have friends and a life where you are, I dont think your daughter has thought about them being your only company and entertainment if you move. They may come to resent having to include you in everything.

if you have doubts, stay where you are.

Calipso makes a good point. I’d stay where I am. DH looked after DGC from birth-nappies, feeds, school run etc. Now in their teens, we still see them, but infrequently because they have their own lives and activities.
What would you do then?

If you have a social life, good facilities and a home that suits you I would stay.. as others have said your family dynamics will change and may not include you as much.. It is possible but not easy to make new friends when we're older.. also if you don't spend your savings you could use them to spend holidays with your family..

I went from dont move, to move, to dont move.

How old is GD?
How many more years will you be needed for school run and overnight stays?

I dont think I would move into the potential new house you have found.
Maybe another more suitable one will turn up, if necessary.

I would agree - don’t move. As the GD grow, you will not be involved so much, even thought they love you just the same. An hour’s drive is not too bad, if you can find a nice bed and breakfast place near them, and spend long weekends with them.
You need your savings as a cushion, so don’t deplete it.

I’m not sure I’d move, given the circumstances either.

I’d stay where I was too.

I really don't want to leave my current home.

These last few words say it all OP

Thanks for the responses. Its confirmed how I feel about the move and that is I don't want to leave my very nice home for one that is so much less. I can do a lot with the money I would have spent and it may come in useful to help GD with any educational expenses she may have in the future. She'll be disappointed but I'll suggest going to see them this weekend and doing something nice and see how that lands. I am torn but it really doesn't make sense for me to do this.

Another vote for don't move!
What activities and friendship groups do you have in your current town?
I presume you didn't spend all your time with your daughter and granddaughter?
You need a life of your own which will be harder to establish somewhere new.

One suggestion for keeping in touch day-to-day that works well for us is to set up a family WhatsApp group between you all.
We use ours for news, questions, photos, jokes, anything that we would talk about in person if we lived closer and met up more often.

We can't stay at our daughter's house when we visit either.
One suggestion for you would be to stay in a Premier Inn or similar when you visit, and your granddaughter could join you for a sleepover in your room there 🙂

they are not thinking of you, but their own convenience.
you need to think of you.
stay.

Calipso

It's always worth asking yourself the question 'What happens if they move again?' Where does that leave you?
From my own experience with (several) grandchildren, once they start senior school the dynamic changes. They still love you for sure but they belong a bit more to the world and a bit less to you. Which is as it should be.
Good luck with whatever you decide - I think you know the answer

Just this. An hour’s drive isn’t much and if you make regular trips they’ll see that life is still going on and you’re all still close.

I had this problem, A few years ago after my husband died, our son and daughter in law bought a new home about 30 motorway minutes away from me. Like your family, they wanted me to sell my home and move nearer to them as commuting to my home from their new home to leave our granddaughter with me for childminding was too far. I didn't drive so could not pick her up and it would have been three buses for me to get to their home.

I finally realised that the reason they wanted me to move home was so I could look after her and take her to school, pick her up and look after her until her parents got home. They also said she could stay overnight with me at the weekends and holidays.

I love our granddaughter but I did not want my life to be all about childminding just because my husband had died.

I decided to stay where I am and they were not pleased so I told them that they should not have bought a house so far away from me and this had been our home since they were born.

I honestly think sons and daughters can be very selfish, expecting grandparents to raise their children for them. We had no-one to look after our children as both our families had died just after we got married so we worked around it, my husband working days and me working evenings.

Stay where you are, it is up to dd to work around this as many do. Dinogran, try not to feel the guilt that dd has put upon you, life will go on and so will your loving relationship. Be straight, say it as it is and don`t qualify with reasons. She needs to know so she can make arrangements

I think you've answered your own question. You don't want to move.

You may have many opportunities ahead of you either with or without family.

The GC will grow up and make her own life.

Agree with everyone. Stay put. Family dynamics change over the years. Your young might move again. Then what?

Junior daughter, spouse + 3 are in the USA. Communicate by email only! Senior daughter + 1 in London - not spoken for 14 years. Her choice. Neither girls know where their brother is. Neither do I, nor do they know what his two children are doing, or his ex-wife. or where they are living.

I can do absolutely nothing about it. They are adults and make their own choices, it is sad but I am not going weep. Hard hearted, maybe but that is life.

Oh, happy families!

Agree with others. It's a big change to make when you can't see what will happen in the future.

Do you have a spare room where GD can stay for the weekend now and then? Mum and Dad get a break and you get to keep up contact with GD as she grows.

I'd not move. Good to stay put!

Don’t run your savings down, it is so useful to have a cushion. It allows for emergencies and importantly treats! Stay where you are.

We were in the same position, in a nice spacious detached character house but in a less sought after ie cheaper area. Dd moved to a house in a wealthy sought after area which we coukdnt afford to move to without depleting all our savings and taking out another mortgage, , fir a smaller house and nowhere near as nice as the one we have.
Now children are older we are not needed for care and not part of their lives as we once were. My advice? Dont get into debt by moving.

'If in doubt, do nowt' and don't leave yourself short financially DinoGran.

You obviously don’t want to move, so don’t!

It’s not like they are now living the other end of the country.

And believe me, when the GC get into their teens, they just don’t need you like they did when small. You very much move down the pecking order in their lives.

Stay put, and enjoy the occasional visit.