What would you do?

I would phone my DD and ask if there is a possibility of her taking you home. If not try son. If either agrees to help accept DH’s offer to drive you there and assure him someone is bringing you back. If neither DC can help for a valid reason it looks like you are on the train both ways
I can never see the problem with pet/house sitting, different walks, different shops, places to visit, however, if he wants to paint the boat so be it. Good luck

Keep your mouth shut right now, go to your daughter's as planned, and take the train home. If you fear the puppy may wee in the wrong place, take a damp floorcloth in a plastic bag with you and a bottle of water for mopping up.

Arrive home with no notice given, and if your darling daugher's daddy is still in the huff, tell him to be his age.

Poor choice of words, he is being his age, I suspect - grumpy old man, tell him to put a sock in it!

Go and house sit, worry about getting home when it happens, OH might have calmed down and missed you will come and get you

Wouldn't go by train with a puppy and a suitcase especially with the changes involved.
Is it possible DH will calm down and change his mind?
You've committed to going now so tell your husband he can either take you and bring you back or you'll just take the car and drive yourself. Failing that if DH is still willing to drive you there then you will have no alternative but to ask DD to drive you home sometime after their hols.

Whilst I appreciate that this forum is great for sharing problems, I feel this request is a step too far. We are NOT Marriage Guidance counsellors. !

Since you do not specify whether you DD is also his DD, that is one thing one would need to know before wading in.
If she is also his DD, then he ought to be more empathic to her needs.
If not, maybe the following Qs might help to untangle what you are faced with.

Is this a typical thing with your DH? (I.e. choosing to remain at home and let you go elsewhere without him.)

If not, maybe you should try insisting he comes with you and see what kind of reaction that produces.

It looks very odd, to me.

I see you offered to do this and when your husband changed his mind from staying with you, he’s still offering to take you. I actually don’t think up to that point he’s being unreasonable in thinking the younger family members should offer to bring you home. He’s being considerate in thinking the journey by train won’t be easy for you. Sometimes our children get so used to us offering to help they don’t think to reciprocate (should but don’t!) so I don’t think it unreasonable to say to your daughter that Dad’s bringing me but he’s going to be busy at the end of the holiday, so can she or her husband do the return journey. Not easy to ask I know, but not unreasonable. I think his current stance is made out of subconscious frustration, more than bossiness, maybe feeling you do a lot but don’t get much back maybe.

Ask son, and go by train..husband can pay the train/ taxi

Leave your dog with husband. At the end of your house sitting meander home staying at interesting places. Plenty of art galleries, National Trust properties etc.

I’d say to daughter i don’t mind waiting an extra day until you feel up to the drive. After all you are helping her out by staying in her house . No i wouldn’t let a man order me around I’d let him toss his dummy out and say fine I will get train and you can look after the dog too lol

I would start by asking your son, who lives near your daughter if he wouldn’t mind driving you home. Two hour journey would be a good chance for the two of you to catch up. If he didn’t want to do the 2 hour return drive could he stay one night with you and your husband or even stay a night in a Travel Lodge type hotel? It is depends on his health and stamina.

Continue to stick pins in your little wax doll, how dare he tell you what to do. You are not a child......
I wouldn't take the train back with the dog and luggage though it would be too much for you. Explain everything to your dd and see what she suggests.
If all else fails l personally would get a taxi home and charge it to Not dh.

Tell him you are taking the car ? Talk to son——- sell the boat,
Definitely tell him you are leaving the puppy as it’s too much trouble,best of luck with the whole situation,but I’d not let your daughter down,sad he’s too busy to collect his wife.

Why can’t the daughter bring her dog to you then no one is put out I couldn’t bear to be in someone else’s house on your own twiddling fingers for two weeks
What can you do in someone else’s house for two weeks I don’t blame your husband at all he probably said yes at the time and then thought it through and realise it would be two weeks of pure boredom

I agree your DH should not be telling you what to do ! However I can see his point of view, he is happy to take you but thinks a family member should bring you home - I sort of get that. You are saving your DD a lot of money , kennel fees are not cheap - cost me a fortune to put my cat in the cattery for two weeks! Speak to your DD and DS and see what they can come up with. Two train changes with or without a puppy does not sound much fun . You are doing your DD and SIL a massive favour so the ball is in their court , although you did offer your services.
Perhaps it might be easier for you if you arrived by train and your DH brought you home. At least then you would feel more relaxed during your stay knowing the difficult bit is behind you. Good luck .

keepingquiet

You have offered to house-sit. this says to me that you would like to do it and were not asked, but your DD accepted your offer.

You are expecting DH to accommodate your choice even though he has stated clearly his intentions.

You have three choices here it seems to me:

Don't go and let someone else care for the dog

Go and enjoy your stay and make your own way home.

Ask your son

I don't see what the issue is here at all.

The big issue for me is being told that ‘if she doesn’t bring you home, then you’re not going!’ That really got my hackles up and made me feel all Pfft! And Grr!

grandtanteJE65

Keep your mouth shut right now, go to your daughter's as planned, and take the train home. If you fear the puppy may wee in the wrong place, take a damp floorcloth in a plastic bag with you and a bottle of water for mopping up.

Arrive home with no notice given, and if your darling daugher's daddy is still in the huff, tell him to be his age.

Poor choice of words, he is being his age, I suspect - grumpy old man, tell him to put a sock in it!

Lol! My sentiments exactly!

Why does she need a house sitter ? Just lock up and leave her dog in your house , I’d be bored stiff in someone else’s house

123ish

Leave your dog with husband. At the end of your house sitting meander home staying at interesting places. Plenty of art galleries, National Trust properties etc.

Love this suggestion 😃

rowyn

Whilst I appreciate that this forum is great for sharing problems, I feel this request is a step too far. We are NOT Marriage Guidance counsellors. !

I wasn’t asking for marriage guidance or counselling

Keep on with the doll and pins, advice from my DH.

hamster58

I see you offered to do this and when your husband changed his mind from staying with you, he’s still offering to take you. I actually don’t think up to that point he’s being unreasonable in thinking the younger family members should offer to bring you home. He’s being considerate in thinking the journey by train won’t be easy for you. Sometimes our children get so used to us offering to help they don’t think to reciprocate (should but don’t!) so I don’t think it unreasonable to say to your daughter that Dad’s bringing me but he’s going to be busy at the end of the holiday, so can she or her husband do the return journey. Not easy to ask I know, but not unreasonable. I think his current stance is made out of subconscious frustration, more than bossiness, maybe feeling you do a lot but don’t get much back maybe.

Nail on the head moment, hamster. Absolutely spot on. He knows he was out of order telling me I couldn’t go if DD didn’t bring me back, so he’s taking me and has accepted that I’ll have to stay over for an extra day so that either she or my lovely SiL can be rested and bring me back

I wouldn't give in to him myself, but I can be stubborn, I would ask your son first , but as a back up plan have train times and fares at the ready for booking. Another alternative would be your son / daughter take you half way and your husband pick you up for the remaining part of the journey.
I am not sure if you are like me but I would probably stock up the fridge and prepare some meals for him to heat up. But I would knock that on the head, leave him cope home alone. Hope you enjoy your week to yourself. Have you got to take your dog with you or isn't he capable of looking after it as well as repairing his boat. The journey home on the train would be easier without the dog.

Graygirl

Keep on with the doll and pins, advice from my DH.

This really did make me laugh out loud! Doll is back in the cupboard - for now 😈

There have been some really funny and some really helpful suggestions, thank you all so much. I’ve had three offers of a lift home from friends, all of whom are itching to see my boaty home.

I can’t have my DD’s dogs here, they are two very energetic Red Setters and there simply isn’t room.

I’m actually looking forward to going, it’s my ‘home town’ and I have a list of friends to catch up with. Besides, DD has a hot tub in the garden that I’m looking forward to trying out