Neighbours and their child

I worked with children for 20 years, had lots of training regarding safeguarding, you can approach police, your GP, social services and child school.

A child should not be left to suffer because parents are going through a bad spell, or are experiencing health problems. They may need help and support themselves. Help is needed if a small child is affected. Bad language, especially if directed at the child, is not mitigated by the fact the child may not understand the words used. It must be frightening and threatening, and if the child isn’t apparently not affected by such treatment then things have already gone badly downhill and the child is becoming desensitised.

Keeping a record is helpful, but time is passing whilst you do so.

The OP has already seen and heard enough to feel concerned for the child, so it’s probably wise to act now.

As I suggested upthread have a look at the nspcc site. It states people concerned about children can phone or complete a confidential form online, anonymously if they prefer. . It is very helpful and given your situation I would recommend you start there.
Any of the other suggestions are more of a risk that you will be identified even accidentally and presume you very understandably don’t want that.
In my SW role I have visited families where there had been reports from the public and they always wanted to know who had reported them , I never told them but they tried to guess, and always guessed wrongly. However in your case living so close etc it’s more likely that they will assume it might be a near neighbour.
Well done for caring.

Make a note of episodes you have witnessed, contact your local safeguarding children's team, outline your concerns. If your gut tells you something's not right, it probably isn't!
I think you have to have the courage of your convictions!

Thank you all so much and I will anonymously report my fears, as I said earlier, better to be wrong and upset someone than be right and do nothing and risk the consequences.

Madmeg

I am not at all sure whether or not you should get involved other than superficially, and other than keeping a record of disturbing events. I can't see anything that tells us how long the family have lived there, so I ask how long has this behaviour been going on? The couple might
"just" be going through a bad spell in their marriage, or other things of which you aren't aware. I'd also think that shouting and swearing in the garden is unusual if the child is really being abused. Cruelty is usually kept hidden from the public. I agree, it's not the best way to bring up a child but is there any evidence that the child is suffering - e.g. is he overly-quiet (unless crying of course) or afraid of other adults?

As someone said, does he appear to be clean and nourished?

You could possibly "pretend" to be going out somewhere when mum or dad takes the child to school and see how he behaves when out of the house. Plenty of children sadly live their early lives indoors at the top of a block of flats and though it isn't ideal, it doesn't equate with abuse. Maybe mum or dad have health problems that you don't know about that contribute to their behaviour with the child.

As for bad language, the child won't understand what most words mean, but teachers will notice if he uses them in school. Again, it doesn't necessarily mean he is abused - though again it is not what most of us would consider to be acceptable.

You seem to have already agreed that keeping a record and/or trying to record the arguments, might be useful in the future. I'm not an experienced user of Gransnet but I would suggest that if things develope you should come back on here and see what folks think.

They’ve lived next door for around three years, the shouting and crying has worsened over the last year!

The other thing I suspect, as do my adult children, is that he is left alone in the upstairs flat on occasions.

As you've revealed yourself as someone ,
who is concerned -your neighbours might guess , who has reported them to social services .
I hate seeing small children being shouted at as it reminds me of my childhood .
So if I'm worried about a child I report the issue .
I think that it's important to try to record the incidences .

A child so young should not be left alone at home. You are right, you have to report your fears.

Cossy

The other thing I suspect, as do my adult children, is that he is left alone in the upstairs flat on occasions.

Ok Cossy -left alone warrants referral. In fact it’s one of the occasions immediate police response to 999 is needed

You know what you have to do Cossy thinking of you

On more than one occasion, I've rung NSPCC anonymously when I was worried about two different children. On each occasion I was listened to and assured that my concerns would be taken seriously investigated sensitively. Better be safe than sorry. A child's welfare is paramount...

Its important to know the nspcc do not investigate concerns, they pass then to the local social work team
The nspcc can be helpful in advising callers

This is also relevant and accurate.

The welfare of this child is paramount. Time to be proactive and and stop dithering.
There is a possibility that this child is already on the radar.

I always advised our staff that, even if they thought their information was irrelevant, once you joined up the dots, you might find a totally fifteenth picture.

Should read totally different!

Yes mRydoll, like putting a complicated jigsaw together in order to see the full picture