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Is it me? Or is this really good news?

(74 Posts)
maddyfour Thu 17-Oct-24 10:33:48

So my DH received some junk mail yesterday, and blazoned across the front of the envelope was written,

There’s still time to make 2024 the year you did something amazing

and then across the back of the envelope,

Good news enclosed

In high anticipation DH opened the envelope only to find a leaflet entitled

Your guide to funerals and funeral plans

And a lot more bumpf all about organising your own funeral. Now I’m fully aware that many people like to organise and pay for their own funeral in advance, but is sending out unsolicited advertising to older people telling them that’s it’s good news and that they still have time this year to do something amazing really in acceptable taste?

Has good taste disappeared down the plug hole these days? Maybe it’s me, but we both dissolved in laughter but I also feel slightly offended. Most people are perfectly able to organise their funeral if they wish to, and others may not wish to have this arriving through their door, unasked for, because they may wish to leave funeral arrangements for their loved ones to make as they feel appropriate. That’s how I feel, especially since I know there will be sufficient funding available from my estate to pay for whatever they decide they want.

Is this advertising really in good taste, bearing in mind the words used;

good news and do something amazing?

midgey Thu 17-Oct-24 10:35:58

Made me laugh out loud! But it could be really distressing to some.

MissAdventure Thu 17-Oct-24 10:36:14

grin
These funeral plan people seem to try all kinds of techniques.

Its usually all about protecting your family from worry. Perhaps they're taking a different line now?

David49 Thu 17-Oct-24 10:37:51

It’s emotional blackmail and should be banned

Witzend Thu 17-Oct-24 10:41:35

Presumably the ‘good news!’ etc. was to induce you to open the envelope. In which it evidently succeeded.

Afternoon TV ads seem obsessed with flogging funeral plans. I have zero interest in them but then I don’t have to worry about funeral costs eventually being a burden on whoever is left behind. But I can see that others would like to know that costs will be covered.

Ziplok Thu 17-Oct-24 10:42:05

It’s not in the best of taste. It could potentially be really upsetting for anyone recently bereaved receiving this unsolicited stuff through their letter box.

TheWeirdo Thu 17-Oct-24 10:48:26

I do apologize for laughing!

I never bother opening junk mail and all the begging letters from charities, they get tossed unopened on the coal fire!

maddyfour Thu 17-Oct-24 11:03:08

To be fair, in very small letters in the corner of the envelope, it did say Pure Cremation but our curiosity as to how this was going to be sold to us as good news and how we could do something amazing was aroused. However, once inside the envelope, there was no more mention of good news, or doing something amazing, and we did laugh.

However, I still feel that the words used on the envelope are in exceptionally bad taste, and moreover, could be very distressing to anyone recently bereaved or about to be bereaved, let alone anyone facing imminent death themselves. To be told in these circumstances that it’s good news, or they can do something amazing is really not acceptable, and the companies sending out this advertising have no idea of the personal circumstances of the recipients. Except that they are in the older demographic.

25Avalon Thu 17-Oct-24 11:08:19

Another reason to regulate funeral services.

Allira Thu 17-Oct-24 11:11:59

it did say Pure Cremation
Oh, not that lot!

Yes, it's tasteless could be very upsetting for someone recently bereaved or given an upsetting diagnosis for themselves or a loved one.

eazybee Thu 17-Oct-24 11:58:00

Yes, I am sorry, I burst out laughing too.

maddyfour Thu 17-Oct-24 11:59:58

Well it is funny, isn’t it?

Except when it’s not, for those recently bereaved or about to be bereaved.

AGAA4 Thu 17-Oct-24 12:05:46

They clearly don't understand people. I would laugh too but some may find it distressing if they were suffering from a terminal illness for instance.
I just find it crass and unfeeling. I doubt they get much business.

annodomini Thu 17-Oct-24 12:13:18

I live in a retirement complex and often receive that type of junk mail through my letter box and presumably my fellow residents - many of us over 80 and several in their 90s - also receive them. Opportunistic on the part of the advertiser but potentially distressing to some residents, the brochures go straight into my recycling bin.

pably15 Thu 17-Oct-24 12:29:08

most people of my generation 80+. took out a life insurance when we were married, then an endowment pollicy when the children came along...so I think a lot of older people will have their funeral plans sorted out....we don't need reminding..

Allira Thu 17-Oct-24 12:31:29

pably15

most people of my generation 80+. took out a life insurance when we were married, then an endowment pollicy when the children came along...so I think a lot of older people will have their funeral plans sorted out....we don't need reminding..

Oh dear, I do keep thinking I'd better get on with sorting it.

Beechnut Thu 17-Oct-24 13:18:22

Don’t they just Witzend. I’m sick of hearing what a smart cookie that Millie was 💙🤪

Shelflife Thu 17-Oct-24 13:24:28

It's in bad taste. As for TV adverts - I object strongly to those, watching them gives me the impression that people can't wait to get on with the job of dying!!!? I get stuff about funeral planning thought the post and leaflets about care homes, I head immediately for the paper bin .

Romola Thu 17-Oct-24 13:26:03

Best laugh this morning, thanks!
My post contained two advertisements for residential/care homes.
They know where we live!

Mollygo Thu 17-Oct-24 13:29:33

Tasteless- but advertising is meant to make people notice-and it worked.

AreWeThereYet Thu 17-Oct-24 16:01:25

Not particularly good taste but there's probably not much that happens in the world that isn't going to offend someone somewhere. If your child is really sick you don't really want begging letters from Africa telling you how many children are dying every day. If your beloved pet has died I doubt you'd want to be told about all the dogs/cats that are being put down because they are homeless.

If I had my way I would ban all unsolicited mail and make companies really work for my custom.

Unless it is actually addressed to us and looks official or from someone we recognize all our mail just ends up in the recycling bin immediately, unread. I once asked the postie to just chuck it straight in the bin but he just laughed and said he couldn't 😅

agnurse Thu 17-Oct-24 19:33:01

I can see both sides of this.

I agree that it can absolutely be upsetting, particularly for an older person. On the other hand, there are some people who are attempting to create a "death positive" movement, with the goal of encouraging people to discuss their final wishes with their loved ones. I do think there is value in preplanning and prepaying for one's funeral and disposition of one's remains after death. This takes a substantial amount of responsibility off people who are grieving and can help to reduce potential sources of disagreement, especially during a difficult time.

In fairness, I do think that the language used here was a bit strong and inappropriate. It may have been better to phrase it in a positive way but with less enthusiasm, if that makes sense.

BlueBelle Thu 17-Oct-24 19:47:17

Well I had a laugh when I recently paid for my Coop cheapest cremation and got £175 in stamps back (few bottles of wine there) 🤣🤣🤣

Devorgilla Thu 17-Oct-24 20:40:05

I have to confess, that I, and my DH, did laugh out loud. One of my sisters has had her funeral plan in place for years. One has planned out her funeral service. One has already been 'planted' as to her wishes and that of her family. I have yet to take that final step, but at 80, time is not on my side. I have options. Just not sure which to take up. Contemplating buying a grave and worrying about everything else after that.

Ali08 Fri 18-Oct-24 10:05:57

🤣🤣🤣🤣