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How ‘independent’ are you?

(75 Posts)
Daddima Tue 19-Nov-24 17:37:54

I have just come back from a hospital appointment which involved two buses or a taxi each way ( I took the taxi option) Now, my family have all done the ‘ just give us a call’, but I am much more comfortable making my own arrangements, and wondered if I am unusual. I know that they would be happy to accompany me to appointments etc, but I honestly am much more comfortable doing things for myself. It’s not that I feel the day will come when I rely on them more and more, it’s just that I hate the idea of being ‘ looked after’. Does anybody understand this, or should I take all the help that’s offered?

bikergran Tue 19-Nov-24 17:43:29

Very very Independent too much for my own good. I am extremely bad in asking anyone for help. Yes have two daughters who offer, but just prefer to plod along myself.

Although I do accept help with my dad who needs care.

bikergran Tue 19-Nov-24 17:50:46

Meant to add, I have the Mantra, if I don't rely on someone ! them I won't be disappointed if and when they let me down.

Usedtobeblonde Tue 19-Nov-24 18:05:14

Very, although my S and GD live with me that is for their need and not mine.
I can perfectly well look after myself.
If they weren’t here I would have a cleaner but can manage on my own.
I have made three long train journeys this year just relying on assistance to carry my case on and off the train and use taxis to complete my journey.
I dislike the thought of asking for help but that is a fault of mine not a blessing.

Thoro Tue 19-Nov-24 18:40:12

Would much rather sort myself out, mind you my local son and his wife both work full time and have 3 year old twins and a 6 year old so don't have a lot of time.
My neighbours make me feel old and vulnerable by checking up on me and checking I've got shopping etc (yes I have got lovely neighbours and I have some serious health conditions) but surely I'm not that old!

Georgesgran Tue 19-Nov-24 19:07:05

I much prefer to sort myself out, although I’ve 2 DDs, but both married, working and with little ones as school/nursery.
I did feel quite old recently when I went out to take up the leaves, which fall on my drive from my neighbour’s tree. Next thing 2 other neighbours came over to help, and despite my protests, between us, a long job was done in no time.

Oreo Tue 19-Nov-24 19:11:02

I’m independent enough but if family asked if I needed a lift to a hospital or dental appointment then I’d accept in a flash.I do enough for them all and am happy to graciously accept any help that I need in return.

Babs03 Tue 19-Nov-24 19:11:49

Am very independent as is my OH, we both lost our parents a long time ago so have had to stand on our own two feet for decades, and our grown family don't live nearby so is 'us' or nothing.

M0nica Tue 19-Nov-24 19:31:57

As we live 200 miles from one child and 100 miles from the other, we have no choice than being independent.

I am still fit enough to walk several miles, love raking the autumn leaves up (and we have a lot of them), drive and lift and carry. I do not present as someone in need of help. DH is a different matter - but then he has me to keep an eye on him and, as has happened in the last few weeks take him to the hospital and bring him home as he was too ill to do it himself.

Patsy70 Tue 19-Nov-24 19:36:47

So very independent! However, at the moment, I’m fortunate to still be able to drive and not rely on my OH or family. However, this might change, and if it does I am sure that help will be at hand, and hopefully I’ll be gracious enough to accept it.

hollysteers Tue 19-Nov-24 19:38:01

I’m widowed, live alone and very independent, but recently had major surgery and boy was I glad my daughter was around for a few days after it. Getting in and out of bed, even turning over was agony.

No matter how fiercely independent we think we are, there are times when we really need a helping hand.

Fleurpepper Tue 19-Nov-24 21:09:07

Yes, and it is much much easier to ask for help if one is prepared to help others when they need you.

biglouis Tue 19-Nov-24 21:17:10

I would probably leave the leaves where they fell on the grounds that I did not put them there. Just as I never clear the snow. If anyone slipped and fell I would suggest that they sue god since it was undoubtedly a higher power that caused them to be there.

Fleurpepper Tue 19-Nov-24 21:19:54

It was a great film, with Billy Conolly 'Suing God'

Oldbat1 Tue 19-Nov-24 21:22:15

I am very independent luckily. I couldnt rely on any help from DDs.

Marydoll Tue 19-Nov-24 21:26:43

I hate asking for help and try to do everything myself. However, much to my annoyance, I am often forced to admit, I do in fact need help.
I want to be independent, but my body let's me down.

For years, I went to my many hospital appointments on my own, never thought twice about it, now DH takes me, for which I am grateful.

Cabbie21 Tue 19-Nov-24 21:27:02

I am very independent, use buses, trains and drive, but if help is offered with transport eg to appointments I gladly accept.

Charleygirl5 Tue 19-Nov-24 21:39:28

I am divorced, live on my own and have no "children". I can only walk about 1/4 of a mile.

My neighbours would not think to even put my bins back in place and I would not ask.

I am very independent, especially since 1988 when I was very much on my own.

grandMattie Tue 19-Nov-24 21:49:44

I’m very independent but then I have all my marbles and no health issues despite being in my late 70s.
Things might/will change in time, but I’m ok atm.

Norah Tue 19-Nov-24 21:55:19

We're both very independent. I'm quite comfortable doing for myself, as is my husband - I know someday, hopefully in the far future, we will have to be looked after and it's not a pleasant idea.

henetha Tue 19-Nov-24 23:51:15

I'm still able to be independent thank goodness and don't ask for help.
There are exceptions of course, like when I had the mini stroke, but mostly I go to appointments etc alone.
I dread the day when I become a real nuisance.

Kate1949 Wed 20-Nov-24 11:54:22

We are very independent. DH is 78, I and 75. We are fortunate enough not to need any help at all. DH has had several health issues but is basically fit and well. We could both still run for a bus grin. I realise we are fortunate and many are not so fortunate. We have had many problems as most people do, but we are carrying on as long as we can.

Spuddy Wed 20-Nov-24 12:07:27

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tanith Wed 20-Nov-24 12:22:21

As much as i can, I get myself wherever I need to go by car,bus or train. I'm lucky to have family that i could call on if necessary but I rarely ask them although my daughtr cuts my hair but I do hers so we even out. I dread the day when I need help all the time.

harrigran Wed 20-Nov-24 13:51:27

Not at all. I live on my own but someone always takes me to appointments, I do not feel safe out on my own as I can only walk a short distance.