When you got married did you save escape money ?

No ‘escape’ fund, but I’ve always had my own cards and accounts plus a jointone for household expenses since I was 19.

Bridie22

One can never be 100% certain you know somebody fully.

I think after living and sharing a life with someone for many years you should

Never.

Neither my account or DH’s is a secret, I just do not feel the need to know how much he has, if he asks me I would tell him.

We have a joint account for all household expenses, as well as several joint credit cards.

It is important to have your own credit score, especially as we age as unfortunately we never know what is round the corner.

Lilacs45...do you consider 39 years of marriage long enough to know somebody?... I did, and I was wrong.

I have always had my own bank/savings accounts, so always had my own money available for anything. My first hubby and 1 always kept our money separate, and my partner of the last 44 years the same and neither of us knows what the other has.

Bridie22

Lilacs45...do you consider 39 years of marriage long enough to know somebody?... I did, and I was wrong.

I do and my husband and I are extremely close and have a very open and honest relationship

jusnoneed

I have always had my own bank/savings accounts, so always had my own money available for anything. My first hubby and 1 always kept our money separate, and my partner of the last 44 years the same and neither of us knows what the other has.

What?? That’s such a huge thing to keep secret in a marriage. To me marriage is about open communication and transparency

I thought like you did Lilacs45, shows how mistakenly trusting we are.

I see it as much the same thinking as "I'd never have a stroke, I'm healthy, fit, low cholesterol..."
"I'd never be scammed, I'm smart, tech savvy, happy alone..."

We just need life to fall into the same mindset, and for some, it doesn't.
Neither do partners, always.

MissAdventure that’s how I see it.

DH and are content as we are today, but life doesn’t come with guarantees and that is what my Gran installed into me.

None of my accounts are secret. Nothing behind DHs back.

I never even thought about it. We got married on a Friday and we had 2p. to last until pay day on the following Tuesday. I wouldn't have got far with that!
In the early years of our marriage, we lived hand to mouth, a 15% mortgage made sure of that.
All our bank accounts are joint ones, always have been.

My in-laws divorced after 30 years of marriage.
During the process it came to light that she had five bank accounts he knew nothing about 😬

If I thought an escape fund was necessary, I would not have married.

My gran told me a girl should always have a little money of her own which I do but not as a running away fund.

Escape funds can be used to help friends out, who find themselves in difficult, skint, circumstances, too.

Smileless2012

No I didn't have escape money and thankfully have never wished I had.

No I never had an escape fund, tho my own bank account.
When we divorced it was done reasonably amicably and any money and goods split evenly between us.
Running away money sounds a bit of an old fashioned idea.

MissAdventure

Escape funds can be used to help friends out, who find themselves in difficult, skint, circumstances, too.

You ccan help friends with joint money, no?

I worked with a girl who told me she had a ‘running away fund’ I was horrified being in a good marriage. However we do have savings for our retirement and I’ve done this a surprise my husband does know about it and he just laughs not w@noting to know wether we van go to the lakes or
Maldives’s in retirement!😂😂

Not a running away fund but my father told me everyone should have an emergency fund.

Yes, you could help a friend out with joint money, but my friends haven't necessarily been partners friends.
The may prefer some discretion, and in some cases the fewer people who know, the better.

I started saving in my sole account when it became clear my first marriage couldn't be saved. By the time I moved out, I’d just enough to set up
I married for the 2bd time 3 years later. We had 42 very happy years together and I never felt the need to plan a great escape. We had a joint account for domestic bills and individual accounts. I kept an amount in that account for emergencies. If mr I had ever behaved like husband one did - I’d have been gone.
I’ve advised my daughters to always have £500 stashed away. Luckily they’ve not needed it but several friends have

NonGrannyMoll

I wish I had done that. Although we were In Lurve when we married, things went downhill over the next 20 years (let's just say that he didn't turn out to be Prince Charming). I did leave him in the end, basically with my books, clothes, a few bits of personal stuff and the money in my purse at the time. I lived in a dreadful bedsit with no heating or cooking facilities. I ate cold sandwiches for my dinner and slept in my woolly hat and winter coat. The only loan I could get went on a dismal little car which ran on a motorbike engine and thus didn't go up hills - had to take a very circuitous route to work every day! 20 years-worth of savings would have come in very handy, so I would say this to a newly-wed (male or female): You may think it can't possibly go wrong, but just maybe it might, especially nowadays when marriage seems so meaningless to many people. If it doesn't go wrong, you'll have a nice little rainy-day fund to celebrate your golden wedding anniversary with! It's win-win if you save money, whether your spouse knows about it or not.

I agree with that my aunt & uncle divorced at 70 after 40 odd years together, luckily she had her out of town account to help her out, although it did all go on rent 😩

To me, it's the equivalent of keeping a £20 note somewhere amongst all the cards and apps.
A spare pair of knickers in a pocket of your bag, that kind of thing.

I expect half the men know about their partners secret fund, anyway.