When you got married did you save escape money ?

I couldn’t afford a running away fund but was eternally grateful when child tax credits were launched as that money came directly to me and I could save a little. That became my running away fund and run away I did (with three children).

I couldn’t afford to save any money in the early years and I can well remember when we were counting the pennies. Later on I did save money and put it into my bank account. DH knew about it and didn’t mind. We’ve been married for 54 years so well past running away from anything.

I had my own bank account as well as joint account, so had a running away fund! Was never advised to I just did it. Nice little amount when my ex done the dirty on me! 🤣

Would never have thought about it. I was an independent woman who rented her own flat, had a nice car and a good job. I’ve been married 44 years.

Unfortunately, my dad (born in 1909) never gave his daughters any advice on financial affiars, although he was an auditor. My brother was the only one who received some pocket money so that he could treat a girlfriend to a milkshake or so. He still is very wise with money. All of us was given one tickey primary school savings a week, which we squandered fairly soon in high school. At one time or another, all the girls had some financial problems during their marriage. It took me a good 20 years to realise that hubby was useless with savings and insurances. I was fortunate to be able to earn my own money, albeit it much less than what men earned, and often alnly part time. It helped me in times when hubby left his job, and now that we are pensioners, both of us still have to work to escape social benefits because our pensions are very low.

It seems it makes little to no difference to the quality or longevity of wedded bliss, whether you've a secret stash or not.

My mum always talked about a running away fund and my parents did divorce. It made me make sure l was always independent financially.

When I married I was the one with the money.
I had a well paid job and enough money to buy a house, which I did.
My husband was a waster, I lost track of the number of jobs he had, always a case of last in first out.

My mother also told be to put some money is a safe place in case I needed it. She didn’t mention specifics . I did hide hide some money. I didn’t need it.

I always had my own fund, it wasn't an escape fund that didn't occur to me, it was a just in case we might need it.

Yes I attempted a running away fund but it never grew to a substantial amount and as I was living in the States it wouldn’t have got me very far! Never had my own bank account - just used credit cards. Everything had to have a receipt though - he was an accountant. Finally got fed up after 38 years and I now have my own money - wonderful. I now treat myself to the most expensive face creams without guilt.

NanKate

Someone I knew was left in a dreadful state when her husband died. He knew he only had months to live but he didn’t prepare her for being alone.

She had no cheque book, no ready cash, no money of her own, just a big old house in the woods. Her two children had to bail her out for months just to keep her fed and pay her bills. I have resented his cruelness ever since. She crashed her car and died shortly afterwards. What a sad disaster.

Your friend obviously did not know that as a widow, she is entitled to bereavement allowance which is a lump sum of £2500 followed by 18 monthly payments of £100.

She should have gone to her bank, opened a bank account in her own name and notified DWP of the change of bank details so that her own state pension would go into her new bank account which she could assessed immediately whilst waiting for probate.

She must be so consumed with grief, she could not think straight.

No I didn't have one but wish I had, when my first marriage crumbled. I've made sure I have one the second time around.

It was called 'Drop Dead Money' in Harold Robbins 'A Stone for Danny Fisher' and l thought it a very sensible idea and have always had one, just in case l ever needed to to say that and leave.

We did have a joint account when we first married. But it didn't last - both spent from it and kept forgetting how much we'd spent! So I've always had my own money in my own accounts.

I could never understand how couple with everything in joint accounts managed. No fritter money, always knowing what the other had spent on their presents, etc.

My DMiL had running away money. DFiL never knew of it. We only found out when she told us not to throw out her sewing patterns without looking through them carefully!!

No, I didn't have any money in the beginning to squirrel away but I did have my own savings account and bank account.

I always had money my husband didn’t know about and advised my children boys and girls to do the same. Just a small safety pot!

Everyone knew about my mum's rainy day fund, and asked her, if they were in a pickle, financially, to borrow some.

It must have been a tiny amount, I'd have thought.

My dear Dad gave us what he called 'whoopee' money when we were first married. It was to be spent on fun/treats/things we wouldn't otherwise have. He knew our funds were strictly limited so we really appreciated his generosity. Our first 'whoopee' money was spent in a lovely lunch at the Roman Camp Hotel in Callendar.

When my parents split up my dad took all of the money from the joint account and left my mum with five shillings! Hence I have always had my own account, never a joint one and always split the bills with my now extra husband and current partner ! I like being in control of the household budget and my partner is happy to let me get on with it! Always been fiercely financially independent !!

We had a joint account but he was quite useless with money and, when he told me he was leaving, I went to the bank, took my share and opened an account in my name in the bank across the road. He never complained.

A friend of mine is in a loveless marriage and has a bolt fund as she calls it, at one time was touch and go as to whether she would leave him but as time has gone on either she has found him less difficult to live with or is too hooked on the lifestyle she is able to afford with his very generous pension. In any case neither bolt fund nor leaving her husband has been mentioned for years.
I never put money aside, am v lucky in having my best friend as my OH, 45 years and counting.

I didn't exactly have an escape account but I did have a post office account where I saved a little now and again. It came in handy when it became obvious I needed to get a divorce. I also saved the child benefit in a building society account for the 3 children to share when they went to uni, had driving lessons, needed a deposit on a flat. Sadly, their father stole the whole lot after convincing the lady at the building society to give him the money from the account. Luckily, security on accounts is much more secure now. He also forged my signature several times to divert money. I'm happy now with a loving and caring husband. We have a joint account and our own accounts.

Never considered it.

In the early days once the children came along there weren't even spare pennies, let alone spare pounds to squirrel away. I did have my own bank account though, where my salary was paid. We shared everything anyway. I suppose if I had been unhappy in my marriage it might have been something I would have done.

I wish someone had said that to me…but it would have made little difference. My husband had total control of all finances from the word go…and I brought none into the marriage.
I had to note down everything spent in the cheque book I was given, so frequently had to buy my son’s clothing, etc, under the guise of Tesco groceries or similar.
For our first Christmas I saved ‘change’ for over a year. And with that I bought him an expensive sheepskin coat ( all the rage in the 1970s) … I got an indoor plastic watering can and a nylon scarf!
Eventually I started a small business from home and began to earn a little money, but after being hit one too many times, ( not a frequent happening, but happened a few times too many, tho the mental abuse was constant ) gathered my two small sons cowering in the hall and ran out of the house in apron and slippers, face all bloody from a fractured eye/ nose. I lived on the kindness of friends for a few weeks whilst getting a solicitor and …eventually… got back into my home and my husband evicted!
I continued with my small business and am still doing it to this day…it was hard, will never be rich, but at 78 I still love it!
Escape money would have been a great idea had I been able to see what was to happen!