Small appetite in restaurants

I think you just need to tell her.

'Evelyn dear, you go ahead and enjoy all three courses, but I feel uncomfortably full it I do the same. I'm quite content with one course and happy to visit while you enjoy your meal."

Maybe you could have two small starters instead of a main meal. One served with her starter and one with her main meal, then a coffee while she has her dessert.
I don't always want a large main meal and sometimes prefer to do this.
If she can't accept this then it's time to call it a day.
Good luck

Say to them, I don't bully you to stop eating so please don't bully me to keep eating !

I feel for your friend to be truthful.

My mother-in-law eats like a bird and it is uncomfortable if you have gone out to somewhere as a treat for her because it feels (quite unreasonably) as though it wasn't a very good treat after all.

Because we normally eat later (about 7.30 these days) having a meal out at lunchtime or very early evening is definitely done to fit in with her preferences. Also, it impacts on the sort of meal. You cannot have (say) a tasting menu or easily go somewhere where the food is artistry - frankly because it seems a waste.
If it's really just for the company, as someone said upthread, why not do "coffee and a bun" instead?

We don't normally eat out much. So when we do we like the whole experience of doing so and enjoy the ambience, being looked after, a great wine list, the beauty and inventiveness of the meals on offer. It is not usually just meeting for a conversation (however jolly).

It's nice to actually discuss the food you are eating and the merits/ ingredients/ provenance/ what it reminds you of etc. This is part of eating out to me.

I would definitely suggest two starters or a starter (as a main) and a pudding. At least you are eating twice and have two foodie things to discuss. And you will make your friend feel less uncomfortable too.

I remember my aunt always complaining about large portions ( among many other things!), and would tell her to leave what she didn’t want, but recently I have found that a big plateful can be off-putting.
Sorry, Auntie.

If I am not overly hungry I will have a starter, then order a different starter for my main.

DH and I often share a starter, then share side dishes with our main courses.

It must be horrible if you are made to feel uncomfortable over dinner/lunch by your companions.

My DH and I rarely eat out now, and definitely not in the evening as portions are too large, although we do enjoy visits to our local Cote as they don't overpile their plates.

I lunch out with friends but usually have just a sandwich or wrap, and we might share a slice of cake. We often meet at garden centres, earlyish, as several near us do rather nice breakfast/brunch dishes, all of which are quite small and reasonably priced, so perhaps "brunch" might be an option, Stoker 48?

Good idea gulligranny - less formal too.

A friend of mine asks for a couple of starters instead of a main meal, then if she's still hungry, has a pud 😋

valdavi

I don't mind about how many courses someone I'm meeting for lunch has. I did have a friend who would order 3 courses & only nibble at each. I hate wasting food & the time she ordered a lovely chocolate dessert & didn't even taste it because she didn't like the look of it was torture! I so badly wanted to say "if you don't want it, can I have it?" but that would have been totally non-U but it distracted me terribly until the waiter took it away.

I would have said "do you mind if I try the cake? I think it looks delicious. "
I am also small eater and usually only order a starter for my main meal. If I order a main then I usually end up taking 1/2 of it home for lunch the next day.

Quite often, we just order two starters each. Much smaller portions and even 2 is sometimes less food than one man course.

As for wine. One glass is quite enough, perhaps you ccould order a soft drink after your glass of wine

But, life is too short to waste time on any 'friend' who makes your meet-ups uncomfortable for you.