Cuckoo in the nest!

Is it really so difficult to be nice to people.

I run a small group and the same thing happened. The way it worked out was 2 blokes actually joined and they talk together and the rest of us women ( usually 6 or 8 of us) also talk together. Can you get another male to join so he can chat with him? Our two fit in well and like each other. Very Aussie I know - every BBQ has a group of men and a group of women who just separate out naturally. Shocked me when I first came across it but now I like it, just seems natural.

Jackiest

Is it really so difficult to be nice to people.

The OP needs to look after herself first so she can best help her husband. It's common sense!

A different scenario, but my DF used to attend army ex-comrades reunions. Someone suggested that they should be able to invite spouses. It completely changed the dynamics because the spouses had not fought in WW2 and could not relate to the reminiscences and, more importantly, the ex-Army attendees felt inhibited. In the end the reunions finished.

Perhaps the OP’s ladies also feel a bit inhibited having a man in their midst. Just a thought.

I'm afraid I wouldn't have the bottle to tell the poor chap he wasn't wanted.

I expect he just wanted to fill in the time while he was waiting for his ‘man’ to get finished, and thought he would tag along with your coffee group.

I wouldn’t really want him there either, but agree it’s awkward now you’ve let him come along.

Too late for you now, but personally I would have checked with the other current group members before the invite.

If he is a paid carer, then shouldn't he be with/near his charge, and not taking time off to have coffee and chat?

Why don't your original group of ladies meet at another time in another place and accept meeting at a place where there will be a mix of species attending is likely to happen.

Please try to be a little more generous and welcoming and tolerant. Just think, one day it might be you

Goldieoldie15

Please try to be a little more generous and welcoming and tolerant. Just think, one day it might be you

So you just ‘put up’ with having this chap in the group, because you are being welcoming and tolerant?

How often do we see on GN that by this time of life you are going to do what you want to do, and not to ‘fit in’ with others?

This seems a case in point, not being unpleasant, but not just carrying on with something that doesn’t make you happy.

Of course, as said before, a pity you didn’t discuss it with the others before agreeing for him to come….

Obviously being nice is too difficult for some and do I detect misandry in some of these posts.

Just self preservation for people in a very difficult decision.

Well I must admit if it was me, I certainly wouldn't want to join your group of "ladies". Judgemental or what. Your friend only knows one side of the divorce story, perhaps the man needs support if he's a carer, you know a bit of socialising, good for them both. What a miserable bunch.

You may very well find that after joining you for coffee the first time he doesn’t want to do it again which will solve the problem for you.

I wonder how your ladies would feel if new lady joined for coffee? Would she change the dynamics of the group as she’s new and doesn’t know anyone?

I had to look up what ‘misandry’ meant.

Tenko

I wonder how your ladies would feel if new lady joined for coffee? Would she change the dynamics of the group as she’s new and doesn’t know anyone?

Probably more or less the same. Not quite as she would be female but anyone would change the dynamic of their group.

Poor guy. I bet he wishes he'd never asked to join you now. Why can't you just be friendly with him?

A reminder to us all- Never invite anyone to join a small group without consulting the other members first.