Feeling shattered!

Agree too much.. I do 2 days and other set of GP do 2 days and chilminder 1. I have not been well this week,my daughter luckily works from home so has shifted meetings about. I am on my own so no one else to help. I would talk to your daughter. Good luck

icanhandthemback

Please don’t feel guilty; you have more than done your part in childcare. Maybe this is the time when you ask if the parents can find an alternative to give you time to recover. If they were ill, they would be able to do that. Once you feel better, you can review your options.

I agree with this Narnia. Try to suggest that you are not recovering as quickly as you’d hoped and having the children so much is too much at the moment. Your DD doesn’t take you for granted so I’m sure she’ll understand and try to do something about it. I do know how hard it is to refuse but try not to worry, nobody will think any the less of you. Good luck.

Is there an after school club the older one can go to or maybe its about time your AC use a child minder.

Narnia, l am a very similar age to you (slightly older) and not a grandma yet but I took semi-retirement from my busy music teaching practice a couple of years ago. As others have said, we have done our share with bringing up our own children and, while it is lovely to be with grandchildren or babysit them for short periods, there is a reason why we have babies (usually) in our twenties and thirties. We are physically stronger and, if we do succumb to illness, we generally recover much faster. Small children are lovely but also extremely hard work, both mentally and physically. It struck me when you said that you have been unwell and it has really taken it out of you. I have just recovered from a series of nasty ear infections and these, along with not being able to wear my hearing aids, completely knocked the stuffing out of me. I felt as if I were walking in fog for about six weeks. Twenty years ago, I would have recovered far more quickly. We are not yet elderly but we are getting older and we are not as physically resilient as we once were. I think you need to have a chat with your daughter about her expectations of what she wants from you with childcare and the reality of what you can realistically provide. This illness is a reminder that you need to slow down a little and it is also a warning that if you carry on as you are things may be more severe another time. Please, please look after yourself. 💐

I stuck to one day, other gran took on 2, but she is exhausted too. Now he is 11, it is so easy.
1. Have you received the tax credits for your pension?
2. Are they claiming the childcare funding? This could go towards easing your workload
3. Join your local mums network. I used to take my lively toddler GS to local library music, 2 toddler groups, baby swim, messy play to wear him out. Now the weather is better, the local playground is a great place to just sit and let them run around with others

Other GP used to help out, they chose not to continue once the second baby arrived.
We do go out everyday and i really can't complain about behaviour etc, she's a treasure.
Yes my dh could do more and I've now spoken to him.

Ask your daughter to check how many funded hours the younger child will be entitled to from September as it's increasing/doubling to 30 hours during term time.

Every time I read GP helped out, I start thinking how kind their local doctor has the time to help out. Sorry, I know that’s rather silly.

DIL to be is already 38 so I doubt she would be devastated if she didn’t have a baby. I had her partner late in life so am now 73 and I can’t bend down easily, so wouldn’t be able to look after a tiny baby. I had no help from family and didn’t expect it. I didn’t like his nursery and then chose au pairs whilst I ran my own business from home so could spend time with my son and supervise the au pairs. Never hear about them nowadays though.

We do a school run twice a week and that’s enough for us. We are older than you are, admittedly. Sometimes the young ones just have no idea that we do slow down when we get older. I’d tell her and see if things could be cut back a bit. She probably has no clue.

I wrote earlier about my friend, she has her Granddaughter two days a week. I’ve know her 30 years she never took a day off sick from work. Since looking after the little one she’s been nothing but ill.
We were ment to meet up yesterday but she’s poorly again, sounds like flu/ covid this time. What’s annoying is her family were on holiday and called to see her on their way home all feeling ill. Goodness knows how long it’ll take her to feel better this time.
The young ones don’t realise we’re getting older and it takes a lot longer to recover. Have a word with her, I’m sure she’ll understand, your immune system has taken a battering, once you’ve been ill and you’re much likely to catch something else. Good luck.

I di afternoon school runs 4 days a week and 4 full days a week childcare during the school holidays.
It IS hard work. I do get tired but love doing it very much.

One thing glaringly different in my situation is that my Son in law, who I adore, constantly asks if I can cope, am I sure, do I want him to take a day off in between my days. Oh my goodness, I am tired but can cope but his questions make me feel cared for and appreciated. That is a great motivator.

I think you need to cut down if you are not recovering from illness very well.