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FTG concerned for daughter

(56 Posts)
FTGworries Fri 29-Aug-25 10:12:28

Morning all. New to being a grandma, 8 weeks in, so feel qualified to join gransnet!
Looking for some guidance on how to support my beautiful daughter while she's going through the same shit I went through with her dad (and unfortunately, stepdad).
I'll start by saying I know I made godawful mistakes and I really have been through the mill trying to make amends. Our relationship is generally very good these days.
She and her dp have got this fabulous little baby. She's on mat leave, had an emergency section after four days of labour. The baby is so far, so normal. Breastfeeding well, growing well, bonding perfectly.
Her bloke was generally great during his pat leave. He's been back at work a few weeks. They're saving like crazy for a deposit for a house (SE, looking at 400k for a reasonable home), so he works long hours, 6 days a week.
But, they're falling out most days about him not being supportive, not understanding that she's on call 24 hours.

He won't do the dog poo pick, wont put his undies in the laundry basket, describes looking sfter his daughter as 'babysitting' ,he's said she is lazy, didn't even give birth, just lay there while it just happened!

All this pretty much happened to me, and of course she has no measure of what a healthy relationship looks like.

How can I support her? She knows he's working hard, but so is she! I don't have the vocabulary to explain that I understand,

Should I say something to him??

Any advice greatly appreciated.

Thank you.

MadameFeuveral Sat 30-Aug-25 21:44:23

No narrative. Just found it interesting.

Crossstitchfan Sat 30-Aug-25 21:52:24

Jaxjacky

kircubbin2000

What is FTG?

If you read the whole thread it’s explained earlier.

Would it have hurt you just to answer the question?? Why be so unhelpful and dismissive?

V3ra Sat 30-Aug-25 23:33:37

FTG I've sent you a private message, check your Inbox (in the top right corner).

FTGworries Sun 31-Aug-25 04:26:43

I've not been a GN user long enough to open PMs yet, so I'll open it when I can.

Norah Sun 31-Aug-25 12:28:13

Baby is eight weeks, I'd think the young couple will be back to normal soon. Give the situation time, resist comparisons to your experiences. Don't get fussed he says "babysitting" not a problem, I'd think.

I'd be put out if our daughters were called names. D's to solve.

Perhaps send frozen casseroles round, might be happily received.