Why do some people refuse to go online?

PaynesGrey

^I don't understand why OP's friend needs the postcode in the first place^

OP explained upthread. She wants to give it to a taxi driver for his satnav.

The taxi driver should be know where it is?

OP said it was for later this year- so if she books the taxi in advance and gives them enough info they should be able to find the postcode for themselves?

I have never taken a taxi and given a postcode.

I'm still not quite understanding the issue here?

I think the issue is that there are people who refuse to go online but see others as PAs. They want the benefits of being able to find information, book tickets, buy things and so on, but expect others to do it for them. A friend of mine's husband was like that - he was scornful of people who (as he saw it) were daft enough to give their card details online, then asked her to get him something on eBay using her card. She didn't

I used to be in a craft group where it was difficult to keep in touch as a couple of people flat-out refused to use FB or WhatsApp, even though both are free and easily available. Some would use email, but that is so clunky, others wanted a telephone tree, as they 'don't do' texts (!!). It was very difficult to let people know if something got cancelled, or just pass on news such as a yarn sale in the area, or whatever. But (and this, I suspect, is the issue the OP raises) there were those who thought the solution was for those with WhatsApp to get the messages that way and then let them know using the medium of their choice. So those opting into the convenient way of doing things were the ones getting the inconvenience, and vice versa.

As a non-driver, I don't see the parallel, really. I have no objection to asking my husband for a lift somewhere (and he is happy to drive me). If he is unable to, I get the bus, taxi or train, or I don't go. If someone asks me to accompany them somewhere inaccessible I might say I can go, but they will have to drive, so they get a companion and I get a lift. I wouldn't suggest going somewhere in their car though. I don't think I have ever asked someone to take me somewhere.

I do accept lifts, but reciprocate via my husband. I am going to a group activity on Thursday, for instance, and my husband is running me there and back. I have asked who else would like to go in our car, and two people have accepted. Next time I might be a passenger in someone else's - it all works out. If I got a sniff that someone resented my getting a lift as a non-driver I wouldn't accept one from them.

ExDancer, I don't understand why you call it yiurf husband's wifi. Sorry if I am being dim.

M0nica

Bodiccea if your mother has a problem wth numb fingers she will have a similar problem with a stylus.

I have numb fingertips and someone suggested a stylus, but I had to hold it with my numb fingertips and I kept loosing my grip on it and dropping it.

Added to that, styluses tend to make a lot of typos.
Styli?

Thst's my excuse.

ExDancer

I'm on line because I was given aa second hand tablet and I can use my husband's wifi

But wife is for a household - anyone can use it.
It's not just your husband's.

I prefer a tablet, squinting at a phone to join in online forums etc would annoy me.

However, a phone is useful - as a phone if nothing else. You could have a basic one and also join WhatsApp which means you can make overseas phone calls free of charge too.

wife
Wifi
My word, autocorrect is in a roll today 😁

WhatsApp is only free if you’re connected to the Internet. Otherwise it will come off your data allowance on the phone.
Which is no problem if you have limited or a fairly large allowance.

But several years ago when I only had a small allowance (7.99 a month) I got massively charged for downloading a couple of my sons videos on WhatsApp when I was out and about.😱

And honestly Doodledog, your friends husband expecting her to order for him and you expecting your husband to drive for you sound pretty much the same to me. 🤔

Ex-Dancer has the internet.

I made the mistake of making an overseas call on my phone (£ouch!) instead of going through WhatsApp.

unlimited allowance

I didn’t really see because everyone said “It’s free, it’s free” and up to that point they were right🙄

I have to say WhatsApp was brilliant all through lockdown when we played family online games and chatted all the way through😁 I miss dong that now🙁

Sometimes Internet is run from a phone's hotspot. We do that when we are away, so I always get an unlimited data contract. Maybe that's what Ex-Dancer means when she says she can use her husband's wi-fi.

And honestly Doodledog, your friends husband expecting her to order for him and you expecting your husband to drive for you sound pretty much the same to me. 🤔

Really? I don't call drivers idiots and mock them for being stupid enough to risk their lives on the roads. I am aware that there are those who dislike giving lifts to others, and would never expect one from them, but as I say, I offer them by proxy, and the important point is that my husband doesn't mind - there are plenty of reciprocal things that I do for him. It's a partnership.

It doesn't bother me people go online or they don't. Some people have mental health conditions/ cognitive impairment so they cannot really manage online. It's no bother to me to send someone a postcode, however it is ridiculous they are closing all the bank branches. There is no thought for people who cannot use online services.

Homestead62

It doesn't bother me people go online or they don't. Some people have mental health conditions/ cognitive impairment so they cannot really manage online. It's no bother to me to send someone a postcode, however it is ridiculous they are closing all the bank branches. There is no thought for people who cannot use online services.

I think that's different. I wouldn't mind in the least if someone with a cognitive impairment asked me to help them. What I do find irritating is when people want everything run around their own refusal to engage with the online world, so that others are inconvenienced.

I imagine that when telephones were new, people would claim discrimination if you had to ring to get information and they didn't have one. Or when people couldn't write, expecting applications by letter may have seemed exclusionary. Over time those attitudes have changed. How long will it be before it is taken for granted that people who refuse to go online have made that choice and should live with the consequences, rather than expect systems to always include offline options?

The costs to local councils of having staff to do things like collect rent, or deal with very frequently asked questions are astronomical. There really is thought to those who can't (or don't want to) use online services. Councils provide digital facilities so that people can do almost everything online, but there are still those who refuse, which adds £££ to council tax bills, as they also provide face-to-face options which are paid for out of council tax at the expense of other facilities.

Fair enough, there have to be options for those who genuinely can't do things themselves. Maybe they don't speak English as a first language, can't read or write well or have other issues. But is it fair to everyone else to allow people who simply choose not to bother to learn how to access an FAQ page or pay a bill by DD or online?

I've been an IT user since about 1968 but my OH has had to join the IT world late in life and finds it a struggle, especially now many online services have introduced security measures beyond the ID and password, notably texted codes and authentication apps. I can see why banks and similar services do so but does the NHS really need such extras? OH is no fool and wrote a published book using Word but gets very frustrated with extra layers of security.

Doodledog

*And honestly Doodledog, your friends husband expecting her to order for him and you expecting your husband to drive for you sound pretty much the same to me.* 🤔

Really? I don't call drivers idiots and mock them for being stupid enough to risk their lives on the roads. I am aware that there are those who dislike giving lifts to others, and would never expect one from them, but as I say, I offer them by proxy, and the important point is that my husband doesn't mind - there are plenty of reciprocal things that I do for him. It's a partnership.

Ok. We see it differently 🙂

Cabbie21

Thanks for replies. Inevitably we are all online here!
My cousin does not drive for eyesight reasons. She wants to give the postcode to a taxi firm to bring them to the rendezvous-vous. Fair enough.
They are becoming increasingly housebound for other health reasons so I foresee life becoming more and more difficult for them. They have no children or other family nearby.
She took early retirement from teaching for health reasons so escaped being obliged to use computers for work. I am not going to try to persuade them. Her brother has tried for years and given up.

It seems some are conflating online and smart phones.

I'd hope everyone had access to the internet, perhaps on a laptop. I don't believe a "smartphone" to be a necessity, a laptop suffices. I accomplish everything on a laptop, dumb mobile, and landline.

Well done giving your cousin the post code for the taxi firm.

Kindness is a gift -- spread freely!

Doodledog the important point is that my husband doesn't mind - there are plenty of reciprocal things that I do for him. It's a partnership.

I agree.

Of course marriage is a partnership. I do for myself, my husband does for himself, and we do for each other. As it should be, imo.

I have to ask. Are your friend and her husband not a partnership too?

Is it the scorn that makes the difference?

In that case I think it’s just like the people who tell me that they don’t have a car because they are eco-aware - and then happily take /expect lifts from others 🤔

Sorry, I just can’t see any difference in not wanting to go online and not wanting to drive and then relying on someone else to do it for you?

My mum died 30 years ago and embraced mobile phones and computers. She even took an OU online course in writing!! I never wanted a mobile phone but succumbed and now do absolutely everything on my phone. Even got my dinosaur of a partner into online stuff. Not sure how I'd manage now without it. I also have a friend, who has a mobile but insists that you contact them on their landline?? Very intelligent senior role holder in gov job before retiring 🤷 Suppose some just not comfortable with it but it does make keeping in contact with them difficult.

Perhaps it's to do with the fact that by going online you lay yourself open to the scum of the earth who will do their best to scam you, sabotage your accounts and provide you with fake information.

Norah

Cabbie21

Thanks for replies. Inevitably we are all online here!
My cousin does not drive for eyesight reasons. She wants to give the postcode to a taxi firm to bring them to the rendezvous-vous. Fair enough.
They are becoming increasingly housebound for other health reasons so I foresee life becoming more and more difficult for them. They have no children or other family nearby.
She took early retirement from teaching for health reasons so escaped being obliged to use computers for work. I am not going to try to persuade them. Her brother has tried for years and given up.

It seems some are conflating online and smart phones.

I'd hope everyone had access to the internet, perhaps on a laptop. I don't believe a "smartphone" to be a necessity, a laptop suffices. I accomplish everything on a laptop, dumb mobile, and landline.

Well done giving your cousin the post code for the taxi firm.

Kindness is a gift -- spread freely!

I’ve got both Norah, and I’d struggle without a smartphone. I use it for car parks, event and travel tickets, payments, sat nav, Google maps, checking out ratings of things, looking what time places open and close when I’m out, etc. Yes, I could manage with just a dumb phone, but it would make my life a lot harder, and I don’t want that.

I have a smart phone but if I am indoors I don’t carry it round from room to room. My clothes don’t usually have pockets, and to be fair it hardly ever rings.
So the landline which I would hear, as there are 3 in the house, is preferable.

My friend’s DH had a biopsy in the summer. They were both very anxious about the result and so were my DH and I. The result was due while we were away on holiday so I asked her to let me know the news by text. We heard nothing and began to think the worst. When we came home there was a message on our landline with good news. All was well! I asked her why she hadn’t sent a message and she said that she didn’t like sending texts and was keeping her mobile switched off anyway! The ming boggles!

"several messages a week" that might be scams? I delete dozens every day that probably are.

I think some people make it part of their identity. They feel if everyone is doing something they want to be a little bit different from the rest of their circle. I am not condemning them, we all like to think we have something about us that makes us ourself. For others it might touch on skills that they haven't developed as fully as the other things they are good at and they simply don't want to go on expanding their range.