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Not Sure

(32 Posts)
Mel1967 Wed 26-Nov-25 12:26:11

Hello,

Mum 82, in hospital.
Was admitted as an emergency 6 days ago.
She’s in heart failure.
Up until this point she has been well.
I’m looking after my Dad, 84.
He has memory problems (no diagnosis of Dementia).
I work 4 days a week.
At the moment I’m struggling to know how best to help/support Mum & Dad??
I have no siblings.
My Husband & Son are supporting me.
Hope this makes sense.
Any ideas/guidance would be appreciated.
Thank you 😊

win Thu 27-Nov-25 17:24:32

register with your local carers organisation and get a carers assessment. You will then get help with the discharge procedure and many other things. It is a bit of a post code lottery as to how much support each district offers. You could also have a care need assessment for your dad and of course your mother should have one before being discharged. Make sure you are involved in everything to do with your mother's care. The hospitals are good at deciding without telling you. I take it you have POA. Stay strong, eat and rest well, you will need your strength.

Lahlah65 Fri 28-Nov-25 00:09:51

Can your husband and/or your son take turns in visiting your dad? Getting him a meal, keeping him company for a while? Perhaps watch some TV with him, play cards etc?

Lahlah65 Fri 28-Nov-25 00:18:44

Your mum may need surgery to strengthen the artery and prevent the aneurysm from rupturing. Of they may just decide monitor it, depending on the severity. Not sure if this is as well as the heart failure?
Like others have said, that is treatable - my dad lived to 90, having had heart failure for years. QoL good right up to the last couple of months.
Fingers crossed for you all x

WithNobsOnIt Fri 28-Nov-25 00:31:36

Sorry to hear about your parents love. You sound really upset.Things must be very difficult for you.

There is some really good information advice in the others posts which l think can really help you and your parents

Hope you can sort out things soon.

Sending you
Love and Best Wishes

🙏👍😻

Xxx

Mel1967 Fri 28-Nov-25 08:17:37

Good morning,

Many thanks for all replies, suggestions & good wishes.

I’ll kept you posted 😊

yogitree Fri 28-Nov-25 16:54:47

Lathyrus3

You’ve got a lot on your plate.

If finances are available use them to ease your load.

Ask if you can take some unpaid leave.

If you can employ a home help for your dad do it.
If he says no then employ one for yourself to keep your house running.

Use ready meals as much as you want.

Use taxis if the driving is arduous or parking is stressful.

If money is tight I would still ask for some leave.

In short use other people for the things that others can do and save yourself for the things that only you can do, which is to be there for the people in your life.

I learnt this lesson the hard way, trying to be the person who could do it all💐

Good advice here.