new baby card advice

DD2’s baby was born 3 months after my DH died. I got a few cards, but no-one mentioned him. It was different when I spoke to people face to face - most said how very sad it was that M couldn’t have lived a bit longer to see his grandson arrive safely.

Its never entered my head to send cards to new grannies

If your friend's husband knew a grandchild was on the way, I think I would mention that I found it sad, he did not live to see the child, but what matters here is what you think your friend would most appreciate.

BlueBelle

Its never entered my head to send cards to new grannies

and your point is........

Why do I need a point I was just joining in the conversation
But thank you for your concern

supergirlsnan

BlueBelle

Its never entered my head to send cards to new grannies

and your point is........

Exactly what Bluebelle said, the surprise of something she (and I) have never heard of and from that the problem it can cause in some circumstances.

I had lots of lovely cards when our GD was born. I always send to new grannies who are friends of mine. It’s a joyful occasion. As to whether to mention your friend’s late husband, maybe just sign it and say how pleased you are that the baby arrived safely. You can always say it to her face at another time.

I agree that it is best not to mention the husband in the card, but if you see her to mention how sorry that he missed the baby’s arrival. She may want to keep her cards and may prefer not to be reminded of the sadder aspect.

Don't mention in card...new babies are good news...something to celebrate....but fine to mention when you see her in person

BlueBelle

Its never entered my head to send cards to new grannies

I don't know how old you are but guessing you are older....I'm 60...been a granny 10 years....I always send cards to my friends when babies are born....the shop are full of them....even for new twin grandchildren...there's loads of cards out there ....I got many cards when my 3 GC where born ....thinking its because I'm younger than you and all my friends are 50s and 60s? ....maybe it wasn't a thing back in the day....apologies if you are same age as me! Maybe your circle of friends just don't do it?

BlueBelle

Its never entered my head to send cards to new grannies

Me neither.

Oldnproud

BlueBelle

Its never entered my head to send cards to new grannies

Me neither.

It's probably the Hallmark effect.

Allira

Oldnproud

BlueBelle

Its never entered my head to send cards to new grannies

Me neither.

It's probably the Hallmark effect.

Could be.

Though maybe my own lack of awareness in this area is because I simply don't have any friends!
Seriously though, if someone tells me they have just had a new grandchild, I am genuinely pleased for them and I think I make all the right noises, but it has never even crossed my mind to also send them a piece of cardboard saying the same thing.

If the card is for the new parents and you are thinking of saying "how much x would have loved to celebrate the arrival of this little person." - then I think that's fine, and rather thoughtful.

I wouldn't want a card if one of my children had a baby though.
I do think that maybe that's what you are asking - but maybe the card is going to the new parents via your friend?

LOUISA1523

BlueBelle

Its never entered my head to send cards to new grannies

I don't know how old you are but guessing you are older....I'm 60...been a granny 10 years....I always send cards to my friends when babies are born....the shop are full of them....even for new twin grandchildren...there's loads of cards out there ....I got many cards when my 3 GC where born ....thinking its because I'm younger than you and all my friends are 50s and 60s? ....maybe it wasn't a thing back in the day....apologies if you are same age as me! Maybe your circle of friends just don't do it?

I’m not all that older than you but I’ve never heard of this custom either.
If I know the parents I send them a card but fail to see why the gran gets a card.
To the OP no don’t mention her late husband.

@oreo how old are your grandchildren?

Oldnproud

Allira

Oldnproud

BlueBelle

Its never entered my head to send cards to new grannies

Me neither.

It's probably the Hallmark effect.

Could be.

Though maybe my own lack of awareness in this area is because I simply don't have any friends!
Seriously though, if someone tells me they have just had a new grandchild, I am genuinely pleased for them and I think I make all the right noises, but it has never even crossed my mind to also send them a piece of cardboard saying the same thing.

Ditto.

LOUISA1523

@oreo how old are your grandchildren?

Why ask that?

It's rather intrusive.

Bluebelle: I've recently sent cards to the (our side) grandparents and great grandmother of new nieces but wouldn't send to friends who have new grandchildren. I only did it because I noticed the cards in the shop when looking for some for the parents.

I have never sent a card to New grandparents although a very old friend did send us a card when our latest great grandson was born earlier this year. I would however send congratulations online.

M0nica

supergirlsnan

BlueBelle

Its never entered my head to send cards to new grannies

and your point is........

Exactly what Bluebelle said, the surprise of something she (and I) have never heard of and from that the problem it can cause in some circumstances.

Neither have I, I might mention it face to face but would never send a card to congratulate a new Granny.

I’d mention her husband when you see her in person, my Nana journey began fifteen years after my husband died, he would have relished his nine grandchildren and loved them to bits.

I have to say I agree with you .lt sounds an American thing..It wouldn't have occurred to even look for one..

I'm 80 and have always sent cards to close friends when they become grandparents...or, these days, great grandparents.