A question on over-thinking

I think if you're a thinker then there will be times when it gets away from you. I'd still rather be a thinker when it comes down to it.

Most of this is because we are introverts. It's a shame that "introvert" is so misused. It just means you live quite an inward life. An extrovert lives quite an outward one. We need both and all stages in between.

MayBee70

I’m an over thinker and a lot of it is because in any situation I don’t just think about how it will affect me but also how it will affect everyone else. I’m also a worst case scenario sort of person. When I had a worrying blood test result recently I keep thinking of what my physio said to me ‘ don’t over think it’. And I must admit that she was right and, in future I’m going to try to take her advice ( not sure if it will work, though…).

With age cometh cynicism.

I wouldnt be thinking "What if?" re other people and just think "They can do their own thinking - whilst I do my own thinking". Long experience has taught me it's very rare for other people to spend any time thinking on how things are for others and they will usually think about themselves only - if that.

me too. At night I have a washing machine brain on and on it swirling around pressing for answers reminding me of stains I have caused to myself and others my brain spinning out of control!

I think life makes us more cautious as we age due to past experiences so we over analyse things. I never used to be like this but I am now.

I’m the absolute opposite, very impulsive. I can’t think of any decision I’ve made that I regret although I’m sure there must have been a few! If it feels right just do it. In my mind over thinking just confuses.

I think my over thinking goes back to my childhood and the way I was brought up. I was definitely a nervous child. Think it depends on how you see overthinking I’m a definite thinker nit a doer. 🫣

I'm an overthinker too, when I speak to my husband about things he expects me to stick with my first thought, which of course I don't. I often end up thinking entirely the opposite, and something different the next day.

Thank you, Kiwibird, for starting this interesting and useful thread. I don't think I'm an overthinker, but my DD certainly is, particularly in regard to her two sons, now 22 and 19. They are both lovely young men, but all their lives she has worried unnecessarily about them and (I believe) has made them risk-averse, which is rather sad. She's always needed me to talk out her worries with and I'm used to long phone calls which seem to help.

I over think things, I'm always looking for ways to sort issues out, usually not my own!
I know I have sleepless nights with things going over and over in my head. Maybe it's habit forming?

Over-thinking is where your thoughts go around and around in an unhelpful and unproductive loop, often leading to anxiety and 'analysis paralysis' where you become so overwhelmed by information or options that you are unable to make a decision or to take action. It often stems from a fear of making the wrong choice or a desire for perfection, leading to missed opportunities, wasted time and anxiety.
Try the 5x5 rule for overthinking. If a problem or situation will not matter in five years, do not spend more than five minutes worrying about it. Either make a decision and act after 5 minutes or distract yourself somehow and may be come back to it later when you're mind is fresh and you're not just going around in circles!

I overthink everything and I find it very stressful especially when it concerns family members.

Hello Kiwi bird, I think overthinking is fine. I do it all the time. Simple things and complex things too. Simple things......what shall I cook am I too old to wear leggings etc. For once we have time to overthink so why not. 🌹

In your original post, I’m not sure if you’re referring to over thinking or procrastination. I can over think and it isn’t useful when I can’t stop! It rarely helps me make a decision as I usually do that with just a moderate amount of thinking . But I do keep on going over things that are often painful or negative and it serves no purpose really.
In contrast my husband isn’t generally a great thinker but he procrastinates because he perceives that he should give something more consideration, looking at it from every possible angle, before he gets on with it. It doesn’t always make his final decision the best one.
It sounds like you’re thinking a lot about a decision you have to make and in my experience, it doesn’t necessarily make the final decision any the better. …unless you need to gather more actual information before you can do that. Good luck!

I’m a Libran so I always overthink until I make a decision then I absolutely stop thinking about it. It’s getting to that point. For instance my microwave completely gave up last week. Couldn’t decide on an airfryer or a microwave to replace it. This morning I woke up and said microwave it is so I bought one. Did I dream a decision? Maybe

I used to over think too. If you think you are over thinking then you are. Give yourself a break and do something else. You can always come back to it. If it’s not important let it go or possibly make a note of it to come back to if you must. Good luck.

Definitely another over thinker here. Always been the same but now I'm on my own I'm more anxious about not making a foolish or incorrect decision so I ponder on for ever or so it seems.

One of my sons does a lot of overthinking about, well, most things really.It gets to the point where he even makes lists to help.And he keeps coming back to fully discuss it,or 'mull it over' etc,to the point where we are a bit fed up of going over it to be honest..but we would'nt tell him so..Do you have any ASD issues at all Kiwibird? My son does, a little.He says it reasures him to do this, as he likes to get things clear in his mind.Apologies if you were asked that already,but i had'nt time to read all your answers today.Hope it helped you if you too try write things down, make a list etc too.

I'm not an overthinker except when it comes to eating out, I run through the, sometimes, enormous menues, then reread them again, make a decision, change my mind. Start again from scratch and eventually copy what somebody else is eating and end up disappointed with my choice.

And yes i agree that you may be overthinking the overthinking

I darent offer my son 2 choices (or more) as we'd be there all day probably🙄

Stillness- my son sounds as though he does same,the procastinating, looking at things from every angle first.

Oh thats strange, 67Notout- my sons a libran too.😀 (you can get microwaves that also do airfrying too,but seem to be more expensive) yes, my son found out this when i needed a new microwave😁

missdeke

I'm not an overthinker except when it comes to eating out, I run through the, sometimes, enormous menues, then reread them again, make a decision, change my mind. Start again from scratch and eventually copy what somebody else is eating and end up disappointed with my choice.

I simplify that one - I just look down the menu for "things I've not tried yet". Add that I won't be having meat anyway and deduct a few dislikes. By that stage there's very little for me to choose from - unfortunately - in most places.

Not too happy if there's nothing I've not tried yet - as these days I'm looking for modern restaurants/pubs (ie ones that vary their menu). Cba with places that want to serve what they want to serve - ie "same old same old". Mental note made of "They're old-fashioned. Get with the programme" and I won't return if I can help it until they're regularly doing new things. Otherwise - what's the point? As one can always just go to Waitrose or Marks & Spencers for something instead (if we've got them nearby - sighs...as I no longer have).

I am a chronic over-thinker.
If I don’t hear from someone, I worry that they are ill, then I worry that maybe I have upset them, then, I go back to my last conversation with them and try to remember ever single word of our conversation.
Recently, went out with the family and we were reminiscing. I mentioned an old gf of one of my sons. I said she was nice and
that I liked her. I really did. Big faux pas !! My d.i.l. walked out of the room with her phone. I bet she went out to call her mum to complain about me. That’s me overthinking!! Perhaps she didn’t mind it all. They’ve been happily married for 12 years and have 2 lovely girls.
On the other hand, perhaps I was tactless ….
I haven’t heard from my d.i.l. since then. ???

I was told by a counsellor that for every problem there are around 5 solutions from the least bad outcome to the worst outcome. I always have to come to terms with the worst thing that can happen to decide what I would do, then I am more content. Apparently this is overthinking and I would be happier dealing with the least worrying solution.
Hope this makes sense!?