Feeling pressurised by male friend

Does he have is own property?
Does he need a carer?
If you live on your own, & fairly contented, I would just stay as you are.
Just keep him as a companion. Definitely don’t feel pressured into anything you don’t want to do.
If that’s not good enough for him, get shut.

No way. A friend would not do 'pressure'.
It's your choice, in your own time.

You have answered your own question.

I agree, the fact that you feel pressured says it all.

Just take a slight step back and breathe.

You do whatever it is is YOU feel most comfortable doing.

Don’t let anyone pressure you, take your good, sweet time.

It sounds to me as if he wants things to move along faster than you do or even want? From what you write, I think you just want a friendship and companionship, someone pleasant to spend a day or evening with but then for you to be able to come home to your own place alone, whereas your friend is perhaps looking for something more permanent, perhaps eventually living with you.
Whatever the circumstances, do not feel pressurised into doing something you do not want to do. You sound quite happy with your life as it is?
Perhaps this friendship isn’t really for you?

I must admit I'd feel put off by the fact that his last relationship was with someone so much younger and you say he tends to talk about women in terms of their looks.

With the best will in the world I would be feeling unsure in that situation. There do seem to be a noticeable number of men who want "looks" from a woman - even when they've not got any "looks" themselves.

So many who are, for instance, 5 out of 10 on the looks scale themselves tell themselves they are an 8 out of 10 and then go looking for a woman that is 9 or 10 out of 10 basically. Well that's about the gist of it.

It's frustrating - but then I tend to think these days to just make a joke out of it - now that I've got to an age where I've lost the attractiveness I used to have (darn it!).

My own joke being that men have always fallen into two categories to me throughout my life:
1. The good-looking ones (ie that was most of my boyfriends I had)
or
2. The intelligent ones (ie the ones I had/have as friends who happen to be male).

Never yet met a man who had both looks and intelligence.

That's not a bad outlook to have imo at this age - whatever one's looks were like when younger - ie just pick out the intelligent men only and have them as friends only.

So a man who is as looks-focused as this one seems to be = not a good bet for a "man in life" - but only as a friend (assuming a suitable intelligence level to match what you require).

If he is pressurising you now. Think what he might be doing if you were in a relationship.

I would also wanting to know much more about his 'traumatic' previous relationship. I am sorry but this relationship has coercive abuse written all over it.

Anyone who makes you feel uncomfortable is not someone who you should be having more to do with.
Or anything at all really.
Steer well clear.

MT62

Does he have is own property?
Does he need a carer?
If you live on your own, & fairly contented, I would just stay as you are.
Just keep him as a companion. Definitely don’t feel pressured into anything you don’t want to do.
If that’s not good enough for him, get shut.

As above - is he looking for a 'nurse with a purse'?

I think you already know the answer to this but just want to have it confirmed. Nobody, however, can tell you how to deal with this, but imho you either submit to this man who is pressuring you to make a decision that could change your life in ways you are not comfortable with or you find a way to get out of this relationship/friendship.
I would choose the latter.
Life is just too short as we get older to make what could be costly mistakes with the wrong person.
All the best x

Thank you all - Ziplock, yes you hit the nail on the head. The most I would want is a companion and coming home to my own bed.
I’m just going to let it be for a while and if he pushes me again, just run for the hills. And you’re all absolutely right - I’ve answered my own question. I shouldn’t be feeling pressurised at this stage (or any stage for that matter) and that’s all I need to know 🙏

MT62

Does he have is own property?
Does he need a carer?
If you live on your own, & fairly contented, I would just stay as you are.
Just keep him as a companion. Definitely don’t feel pressured into anything you don’t want to do.
If that’s not good enough for him, get shut.

His own property 🤦‍♀️

He's needy, you're not. You're in different pages, close the book and walk away.

Ha,ha nannak54

Red flag here.. Just let him continue looking at other Women and you walk away.

Ziplok

It sounds to me as if he wants things to move along faster than you do or even want? From what you write, I think you just want a friendship and companionship, someone pleasant to spend a day or evening with but then for you to be able to come home to your own place alone, whereas your friend is perhaps looking for something more permanent, perhaps eventually living with you.
Whatever the circumstances, do not feel pressurised into doing something you do not want to do. You sound quite happy with your life as it is?
Perhaps this friendship isn’t really for you?

I definitely agree with Ziploc and I can see a lot of red flags with this man. I think you know in your heart that it's time to call it a day with him.

Advice from a man even older than your male friend: don't give an inch.

Thank you grumppa 😊

Run

You have answered you own question, at present you are uncertain, he should accept that without pressuring you. At 76 I can't imagine being a good match for a 36 yr old woman.

Should I be clear with him and say I can’t give him what he’s looking for? I’d maybe keep him as a friend.
Also, he told me he has a female friend (he seems to have a lot) who he’d arranged to go to the cinema with. She asked if her sister could come along and he said no (he doesn’t know the sister) but it struck me as odd and not very nice.

LaCrepescule
I would look at his behaviour and ask some hard questions. Do you feel he values you as a person? Is he your friend who also happens to be attracted to you, or the only reason he's been hanging around is because he's hoping for more?
Relationship with someone 40 years his junior and not wanting the sister of a female friend be present sound suss.

LaCrepescule. You really don’t need this pressure in your life, not even his ‘companionship’. He sounds shallow to me.