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80th birthday present inspiration- please

(70 Posts)
kittylester Thu 21-May-26 08:38:36

My lovely friend and neighbour is 80 next week. She is having a tea party in a village cafe.

The invitation says 'no presents - just the joy of your company'. But, she is the most generous person. She goes over the top with presents for others. She gave me flowers, chocolates and handcream for my last birthday which was not a big one.

Any ideas for her present?

Usedtobeblonde Sat 23-May-26 14:08:39

At my Friend’s GoldenWedding celebration they asked that if people wanted to give something that they bring donations in the form of tinned goods for a local charity , not food bank as they didn’t have a local one.
It went down very well, people felt pleased with a solution.

Lallylou Sat 23-May-26 14:39:51

Hi,
How lovely saying that all of her friends being there is enough. I would return the favour with flowers chocs and definitely hand cream. Everyone loves hand cream. 🌹

sharon103 Sat 23-May-26 14:52:10

I would abide with your friends wishes.
She sounds like a lovely thoughtful lady.
Maybe another time, a coach trip out or a garden centre and have a cup of tea and cake and don't mention it being a birthday gift.
Just a card on the day.

Gwyllt Sat 23-May-26 14:58:09

I was going to say something along the lines as Sharon103 No need to go over the top just nice tea and cake somewhere rather than a voucher for to take someone else. Much more personal

Chaitriona Sat 23-May-26 15:17:19

I would say your friend sounds like the kind of person who genuinely doesn't want presents. She is someone who likes giving rather than getting, so let he give you this party.

Gin Sat 23-May-26 15:28:01

You say your friend loves her garden. My best eightieth present was a wind catcher, a bronzed metal tulip shaped sort of sculpture on a pole. I can see it from my lounge window, it looks beautiful covered in snow in winter or turning in the wind the metal catching the light. At the moment it is surrounded with very tall lilies,, yet to bloom and purple alliums, I love it.

jakuss Sat 23-May-26 15:44:09

A basque

Romola Sat 23-May-26 16:03:23

Perhaps you could take photos to send afterwards. I appreciated those and a GS sorted a printed book8 version online eventually.
All the birthday parties I go to nowadays specify "no presents, just your presence".
That included the party I gave last year for my 80th birthday. I've got everything except my beloved DH, but he had his life which he lived to the max.
As GS remarked, they will always enjoy having that book.

Beeb Sat 23-May-26 16:05:41

I would do as she asked, just relax, turn up and enjoy her party. People who say “no gifts” are always polite enough to seem grateful when gifts are given, but it wasn’t what they really wanted.

Frenchgalinspain Sat 23-May-26 16:05:42

Sago

You could buy a beautiful notebook/journal and ask all the guests to write something about their friendship in the book.

A truly lovely idea.

Frenchgalinspain Sat 23-May-26 16:07:08

Does anyone have a Video Camera to shoot some beautiful shots ?

This could provide a future date for the video showing !!

NotSpaghetti Sat 23-May-26 16:15:40

My mother-in-law truly meant no gifts.
She knew in her late 90s and early 100s that gifts = costs and extra "effort".

She was, however, very excited to have little treats - a beautiful soap, some small "foodie" extra or a diffuser for her downstairs loo.

Not everyone is the same. Even when people mean no gifts - they can still enjoy them.

After her 101st birthday I arrived at her house as she was unwrapping a small soap - she said how kind it was of Sally, and what a lovely fragrance. She was definitely happy and smiling about it.

Cid24 Sat 23-May-26 16:41:51

Can you cross stitch? Could you make a personalised card? I’ve done that a few times .

PamelaJ1 Sat 23-May-26 16:47:28

We have a rule in our house now. It has to end up on the compost heap or down a drain. Either the bath or toilet -if it started out as food!

Einna Sat 23-May-26 16:48:40

Yes, respect her wishes……after all, it will be very awkward if some do and some don’t won’t it ?

She has probably got a houseful of stuff and just wants to have a lovely informal party with her friends.

Babamaman Sat 23-May-26 17:02:39

A spa day for both of you
Letter box flowers
Food hamper M&S, Fortnum & Mason
A theatre trip and meal

All depends on your finances - but personally a ‘together’ treat, making memories are the best❤️

juliaamwell Sat 23-May-26 17:18:05

I would suggest a contribution to a favourite charity. That is what I asked for instead of gifts for my 80th.

Barbadosbelle Sat 23-May-26 17:25:47

Keepingquiet

Goodness! What a vitriol comment.
You must be fun!
.

Oldnproud Sat 23-May-26 17:26:50

Lallylou

Hi,
How lovely saying that all of her friends being there is enough. I would return the favour with flowers chocs and definitely hand cream. Everyone loves hand cream. 🌹

No, they honestly don't.
I don't anyway, and I'm sure I can't be the only one, though
I can't speak for the OPs friend and neighbour of course.

Celieanne86 Sat 23-May-26 17:29:28

I’m 89 this year but I well remember my 80 th birthday. I was given a bird table, beautifully carved and 2 nest boxes to match. That has been approved by a pair of blue tits who visited last year and again this year and are busy feeding babies. So fascinating to watch.
I was also given two hydrangeas,one pink and one blue in very large pots. They sit on my back patio, the first thing I see when I open my bedroom curtains and apart from a little scare a couple of years ago they are blooming, I can see lots of buds on again this year.
Im hoping the lady has a garden or an area around her house when I’ve suggested these.
The best I ever heard was when my sister had her eyebrows tattooed when she was 85.
I might suggest that idea for my 90 th birthday.

Barbadosbelle Sat 23-May-26 17:36:09

Dontcallmelove

Afternoon Tea in a lovely local Country House Hotel is always my go-to. We have quite a few within about 30-40-minutes drive. I'm the chauffeur!

Usually keep even the summer birthdays for the winter when the log fires are blazing. Fourth year in for three of them and they all really look forward to it and let me know their preferred date so I can book (separate - as not known to each other).

It's great as I get a treat too!!!
.

Witzend Sat 23-May-26 17:39:25

I can’t imagine many 80 year olds wanting a spa day, but maybe that’s me, since I’d run a mile.

We’re invited to a 90th birthday lunch in July - I doubt that the birthday girl wants any more ‘stuff’ - so possibly a plant (ready potted) for her very well cared for patio garden would be good.

rosemary55 Sat 23-May-26 17:44:19

I brought a friend (who didn't want gifts , a beautiful Swarovski Crystal pen, she was thrilled, this could be perfect for your writing friend

Tallulah21 Sat 23-May-26 19:38:15

How about taking photographs of the day and creating a photo book after the event.

ginny Sat 23-May-26 19:39:15

Can you take photos of the celebration and have them put into a book to be given a week or so later.