My lovely friend and neighbour is 80 next week. She is having a tea party in a village cafe.
The invitation says 'no presents - just the joy of your company'. But, she is the most generous person. She goes over the top with presents for others. She gave me flowers, chocolates and handcream for my last birthday which was not a big one.
I'm going to be 80 soon and am going to invite lots of friends to tea - hopefully in the garden! I'm going to specify no presents - have more than enough of everything. But if I was going to someone else's 80th I'd respect their request for no presents, and take them out to a nice tea at a hotel or something, or a good pub lunch at a later date.
Blimey- some strong views on here! I'd find it hard to cross anybody's threshold for any reason without anything in my hand - a bottle of wine, a bunch of flowers, some bulbs to plant or a cake or even a card. If somebody specifies no gift - fine, but equally fine if someone just wants to show their appreciation at being invited. Not sure either requires harsh criticism.
At Chelsea Flower Show David Austin has the usual stall packed with roses, and visitors. A rose called ‘Olivia’ had a gorgeous fragrance! More relevant - having expressed sincere thanks for handcream I was soon given much more than I needed, the nurses at my GP surgery are most appreciative!
Posted too soon. Why not put on your invite, no personal gifts please but please feel welcome to donate to Lifeboats or Shelter' (for example) on the day. I will have a box available for any private donations made to this charity that means so much to me.
I agree..no gift means no gift. Depending on who she is and who you are, you could really capitalise on the joy of the occasion to celebrate friendship. Find some words! I would write a poem or haiku, or write out a quote about friendship. Or just write out a list of things you love about her.
Sago's idea strikes me as a good one. And it is not a present in the usual sense - it is a way of giving her thanks and respect and affection, which is a lovely thing to give and to receive. She said 'no presents' and so better otherwise to give cards.
Perfectly timed post, KL! I'm pondering a present for an 80th male friend. Not a party, four of us who've known each other since teens are having lunch together and I don't think presents are expected from us. I'm thinking of a rose for the garden.
Having read all these replies - thank you everyone - i won't take anything on the day. But, I saw a lovely bowl planted with small Peace Lilies in the village florist which I intend to buy to give her a couple of days later.
She has been very, very busy lately getting stuff done 'before she is 80' so it seems appropriate.