I'm a bit stuck! What would you do?

Having read your post and comments , could I just add a few things that I feel would be good to put into your considerations about moving, wherever you might end up. For yourself it would be worth checking up on public transport and closeness to things such as shops doctors and availability of things that you enjoy such as swimming or whatever. Whilst you are fine driving now , if you are thinking of a long term home in the future, looking to see how you can get around should you not be able to drive etc., is just worth considering, which doesnt mean that you might be fine driving for years, but I think it is easier to think of such things before you actually commit to moving.

Grandmafrench's advice cant be bettered.
Go luck with what you decide.

Daisy25, how close are you to your brother and what are your feelings about perhaps becoming his carer when your mum eventually passes? I would think very carefully about moving as you may well find that you will need the support of your DD yourself in the future. I think the advice of spending some extended time and then perhaps every other weekend when you return to work , with your mum and brother will enable you to give some support to your mum without totally committing yourself is very sound.

I was told that you shouldn’t make a big decision within 12 months of a bereavement . Take your time . Stop thinking about it for the summer . Take things as they come . Does she drive ? Could she meet you halfway in a town with a cafe and have lunch . Maybe every 6 weeks or so and every other 3 weeks or so you go to her home . It would get her out of the house .

When my mum passed away I travelled up to stay with Dad for 2 or 3 days every other week.I am so glad I did.We spent hours chatting .I did his shopping and the gardening and generally cleaned round. It was a 2 hour drive ,but it was worth it. I like driving ,so I didn’t find it a chore.I don’t think you really know what you want, give it a try .Your Mum sounds busy, but you could perhaps help your brother.

Daisy2 - is your current home somewhere you could place on airbnb for very specific periods of time? If so, you could plan longish periods of maybe two to four weeks in close proximity to your mother, renting out your own house and staying in an airbnb near her. That would not require any financial outlay and it would also give you the opportunity to focus on her whilst at the same time not having to sell your own property.

Has your brother got a life away from your mum or would you basically be his carer if your mum were incapable of looking after him?

I think you need to think about the coming years. Your mum is getting older (aren't we all) and is likely to need your support more as she does so. A 2 hour drive can be a worrying distance if she has had a fall or needs to be taken to a hospital appointment. Your dd and any future grandchildren are young and can travel to you if necessary. I'd prioritise your mum as she ages. Others can wait. As others have suggested you might find somewhere close but not necessarily in the town you grew up in.