Nearly 18 months Gone to pieces

Thank you callgirl1 and my best wishes to you too.

Oh I'm so sorry to hear you're upset. I totally understand I'm the same. My dear husband died very very suddenly, it will be ten years on Saturday but I still have my moments. I feel a tear running down my face and if I think more deeply about what my family and I have lost I can still get very upset. It's just so awful. I feel we will never get used to this new chapter in our lives it's just having to find a way to try to cope with it. This time of the year is difficult. Looking forward to the Springtime, longer daylight and the birds singing seems to ease us into another year. We just have to try to be as positive as we can. My thoughts are with you

(((Hugs))) and warm wishes for all of you who've lost dear ones, I don't think the sadness of loss ever goes completely because we don't want to forget them completely.

Lost my husband almost two years ago after a short illness and as was said earlier, the first year was kept busy with practicalities of finances, property, etc. The first Xmas particularly difficult. I find it's a great relief when I can be on my own away from family and friends and able cry and not pretend to be strong and just give way to my feelings. It's my bit of self indulgence, then back to the real world

ost my husband just over 2 years ago. I don't feel I will ever get over it. I wouldn't even want to. You do learn to live your life, but of course will have sad times that overwhelm you as you remember special moments or ordinary moments. My advice would be not to fight your grief but to go with it. I always try to think I'm lucky to have met and had nearly 30 years with my soulmate. The memories are precious. Sending you love

GreatauntieLinda I know how hard it is. My husband of nearly 30 years died at the end of September. I thought I was holding it together but since New Year I've been struggling. I got upset in work today and my colleague gave me a hug. Some days are better than others.

I lost my mum back in may 2016 am missing her like you say Christmas brings it out. My dad bless him is really struggling so it's been a really hard year. We all try to help wherever we can I know I have two grown up children and a grandson who really help but my dad seems so low he is on treatment bit it is so hard.

Hi Linda, sorry to hear of your loss, I lost my wife of 32 years nearly six years ago and I think about her everyday, I believe it shows how much you loved them , it will get better and easier for you , you will have up and down days, all the best and good luck xx

A great big (((hug))) GreatauntieLinda My parents and family members have died and I've been grief stricken but my husband of 40+ years has been here to comfort me. The thought of him not being here is unbearable so I can hardly imagine your grief. I have a family member who lost her husband two years ago and she has days like yours. She says they are getting less but out of the blue she'll be hit by another bout of grief that will drowned her. So I think it's normal to feel as you do. He must have been a wonderful man for you to have loved him so. I'm so sorry for your loss and send you sincere condolences. I hope tommorow is a little more bearable.

Thank you so much everyone for your kind words. I seem to have longer periods of being OK. But as a dear friend said, grief can catch you unawares. I watched the programme about Rio Ferdinand the other night and have been on rock bottom since. But tomorrow I shall pick myself up and go out into the world and get on with life. Well, I'll do my best.

Thank you again everyone. This Forum is a life saver.

That was such a sad and moving programme, GreatauntieLinda, I'm not surprised it affected you. But Rio is getting on with his life and learning how to look after his young family alone - you're doing well too...

Nothing to add, just sending warm and positive thoughts and acknowledging that 18 months really isn't very long in the scale of these things xxx

Grief can definitely creep up on you without notice. Usually a trigger event will cause a dip in mood and then you start to feel back in the mind frame of terrible sadness.

This link by Cruse has lots of helpful info and support.

www.cruse.org.uk/?gclid=Cj0KEQjwiI3HBRDv0q_qhqXZ-N4BEiQAOTiCHnvf_WhIPqWvkLq_4xRMRd8wfoie0pe5XKaWUOTovEwaAqUr8P8HAQ

GreatauntieLinda big hugs &[cupcakes]