It is really painful helping a small child deal with the loss of a loved one. Following my husband's sudden death, my son told his little daughter, then not quite 3, that Grandad was not here any more but was now a star twinkling in the sky. She is now nearly 4 and each evening she spots the brightest star in the night sky and sings "twinkle, twinkle little star" for him. I sometimes hear her talking to him and I find it really comforting that she still remembers him so well and loves looking at photos of him.