Gransnet forums

Bereavement

Waiting

(34 Posts)
kezia Sat 29-Apr-17 17:15:47

I'm sitting waiting for the phone call to say that my sister has died. She's my step but our parents were married 37 years ago. Both of our parents have died in the last 3 years so this is coming on the back of an accumulation of grief. I travelled to see her at the beginning of the week and was with her when the consultant told her there was nothing more to be done and we started the 'end of life care' discussion. I promised her that I'd go back today (it's a nearly 200 mile round trip) but I had a message early this morning from my nephew saying that he and his sister had been there all night and her death was expected at any time. I decided that it was their time to be with her and not mine but I've spent all day wondering if I've done the right thing. I think I have but I wish that I knew I had

hulahoop Sat 29-Apr-17 17:42:57

I'm sure you have done the right thing she is not alone it must be a hard day for you best wishes ?

kittylester Sat 29-Apr-17 17:48:52

I agree with hulahoop (((hugs)))! flowers

kezia Sat 29-Apr-17 17:50:28

Thank you x

Cherrytree59 Sat 29-Apr-17 18:28:28

You have done the right thing kezia
A sad time for you and your family flowers x

Menopaws Sat 29-Apr-17 19:10:45

Yes you absolutely have done the right thing

grannypiper Sat 29-Apr-17 19:18:19

Kezia when i received the phone call to say my Sister was dying (expected) and that i should make the 400 mile journey i said no, i had last seen my Sister when i was at home getting married about 7 weeks before, we said our goodbyes then and i have never ever regretted it. I went outside that night watched the sky and when the call came i blew her a kiss.Remember the good time tonight and let your Sister go with a smile.flowers

nanaK54 Sat 29-Apr-17 19:24:19

kezia flowers

Anniebach Sat 29-Apr-17 19:42:19

Kezia, what you are feeling is shared by so many when a loved one is dying. Should I have got there earlier, so many should I have done or should I not have done . I know someone who went to the loo at the moment her husband died, she had sat by his bed for hours and hours.

Your sister is not alone , try to think of the happy times you spent together, grieve, but no regrets please. No sister would want her sister suffering from the if only' I had done this or not done that.

Possibly you have received the news by now . I so feel for you X

Luckygirl Sat 29-Apr-17 20:31:06

You have done the right thing - a wise but hard decision. flowers

kezia Sat 29-Apr-17 21:22:17

Thank you, lovely people. I'm still waiting but feeling calmer. She said a very clear "goodbye and thank you for everything' when I left her, which I shall remember.

Anniebach Sat 29-Apr-17 21:52:33

what a lovely memory to have

mumofmadboys Sun 30-Apr-17 10:07:59

Thinking of you xx

kezia Sun 30-Apr-17 10:23:40

Thank you all
She died yesterday and the end wasn't as peaceful as we had hoped but at least it's over now.

NonnaW Sun 30-Apr-17 10:28:54

flowers

Anniebach Sun 30-Apr-17 10:30:37

Kezia, I am so sorry, I hope you have support , your sister is free from suffering but you will suffer the grief which is the price for love X

KatyK Sun 30-Apr-17 10:55:05

kezia flowers

Tippy22 Sun 30-Apr-17 11:22:43

flowers kezia

morethan2 Sun 30-Apr-17 11:36:02

Condolences kezia I am sorry that your sister suffered.

Greyduster Sun 30-Apr-17 12:50:34

I am so sorry for your loss kezia. ??

DanniRae Sun 30-Apr-17 12:56:36

I am so sorry for your loss. I think that to stay away and let your sister have her last moments with her son and daughter was a very sensitive thing to do. I send you my love and some flowers

Luckygirl Sun 30-Apr-17 13:34:09

Sorry for the loss of your dear sister. flowers

PRINTMISS Sun 30-Apr-17 16:54:12

flowers So sorry for you and the loss of your sister.

wildrose Sun 30-Apr-17 17:31:34

Such a sad time for you Kezia. Take comfort from those last hours you were together flowers

Cherrytree59 Sun 30-Apr-17 17:39:34

My sincere condolences kezia flowers