Aggy21.... and Emsgran, not sure if I can offer words of consolation but have seen a few cases like this over the years. My cousin was cut out of HER father's will at the last minute. She lived with him and he left her zilch, nothing! It all went to a virtual stranger who he'd hooked up with! She was heartbroken, sought solicitors advice and was told there was nothing she could do! Seemingly it was legal and binding. We all thought, and still think, it was mighty suspicious (lots more that I won't go into)
It was making my cousin ill. She spent most of her time planning revenge on this woman and on getting even! She lost her job, lost friends, lost interest in herself and anything around her. In the end I told her she just had to forget and get on with it for her own sake. She didn't like me saying this and to this day, although, we are speaking it has caused a rift that was never there before. Emsgran, please don't let this happen to you.
That was AFTER Uncle died.
In your case Aggy, you are forewarned and I think you have two choices. Either carry on looking after (I'm assuming this is your father in law? Not sure what DIL is) without expecting any return of any kind OR tell the family you are unable to look after him and that they need to take over or he will need to sell his house to pay for a care home? Don't feel guilty about it. Looking after someone is mighty hard work (I also have elderly mother and young grandchildren so am torn in both directions sometimes) and it should be shared equally anyway.
Good Morning Sunday 4th June 2023
Absolutely miserable after yet another social gathering...