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Dads wIll

(29 Posts)
Emsgran Sun 23-Jul-17 22:07:58

am I ok to feel upset at being left out? I don't remember ever falling out with him, always took my share looking after him in the last two or three years of his life. I didn't get a mention in his will apart from being told I was financially stable.

This was about six months after I announced I was getting divorced!!

The wording of the will was no way my dads. He didn't even leave me any personal effects. I'm one of three and my brother didn't get anything either. I think my other brother, who lived with him, influenced him to get the house.

It's only two years later that I've stopped being upset with dad and realised that he was being influenced

Bluegal Fri 22-Sep-17 20:01:42

Aggy21.... and Emsgran, not sure if I can offer words of consolation but have seen a few cases like this over the years. My cousin was cut out of HER father's will at the last minute. She lived with him and he left her zilch, nothing! It all went to a virtual stranger who he'd hooked up with! She was heartbroken, sought solicitors advice and was told there was nothing she could do! Seemingly it was legal and binding. We all thought, and still think, it was mighty suspicious (lots more that I won't go into)

It was making my cousin ill. She spent most of her time planning revenge on this woman and on getting even! She lost her job, lost friends, lost interest in herself and anything around her. In the end I told her she just had to forget and get on with it for her own sake. She didn't like me saying this and to this day, although, we are speaking it has caused a rift that was never there before. Emsgran, please don't let this happen to you.

That was AFTER Uncle died.

In your case Aggy, you are forewarned and I think you have two choices. Either carry on looking after (I'm assuming this is your father in law? Not sure what DIL is) without expecting any return of any kind OR tell the family you are unable to look after him and that they need to take over or he will need to sell his house to pay for a care home? Don't feel guilty about it. Looking after someone is mighty hard work (I also have elderly mother and young grandchildren so am torn in both directions sometimes) and it should be shared equally anyway.

BlueBelle Fri 22-Sep-17 21:03:45

I have three children one much better off than the other two but all three are to share equal anything left when I go I couldn't do anything other

TwiceAsNice Sat 23-Sep-17 08:19:08

I was estranged from my mother when she dies ( long story) so didn't receive anything in her will and didn't expect to. She left a decent amount of money to each of her grandchildren including my two daughters and said for her jewellery to be shared between them which I thought was very fair. My brothers children were both boys, however she left the same amount of money to the youngest boy because he was my brothers full son and only half as much to his oldest son who was a stepchild. My brotherd had brought him up since he was small and never treated him any differently , he was really angry with my mother for not treating him the same. ( all the children were adults when this happened)