My son, Annie's daughter and all taken too young

Terri, just read it, thank you x

to all those who have had bereavements of late, Annie, MawBroon and Misadventure..

Annie - I have posted a recommendation for you over
on the Christmas film thread.

Mcem, thank you. I received such kindness and support, I hope the tiny seed will flourish too x

Although I haven't posted much Annie I have followed all of the posts on your original thread and was becoming concerned that I hadn't seen you since that thread reached 1000.
I am glad you're here offering support despite your own
pain.
I see a little seed of resilience in your posts and I hope for the sake of you, your family and the others you're supporting, that the tiny seed will flourish and bring you some comfort in the future.

Belle, it really is a case of sink or swim. And for me though not for everyone it's - The Serenity Prayer .

Annie you are so positive, have such a strong character. You’re an inspiration. x

You don't get on my nerves and I'm always pleased to see you - especially now.

(((hugs))) for everyone who needs them.

Wot x

Thank you Kitty, decided I don't post, sit on sofa , do nothing and get on my own nerves or start posting and getting on the nerves of others

It's great to see you posting Annie!

You do help Annie and you are never boring, so there!! Xx

Hugs wot x

I will bore who ever reads but it may help Nonnie and others . We are angry when we think what our loved one will miss if dying too soon.

I knew a couple, so sweet, gentle , kind, no children , adored each other, she was completely dependent on him he treated her as if she was in danger from even a puff of wind

He drove over the mountains daily for his work as an account here, my father worked for the same firm, everyone was so fond of him. One morning driving across the mountain a lorry tipped it's load into his car , he was killed immediately. We were so upset and wondered how his wife would / cope. The PM revealed he had undiagnosed cancer , this was the sixties so less chance of a cure then, he would have suffered a lingering death and his wife Told me later she could not have coped with watching him suffer.

Annie, xx

Thank you kitty. I am taking things hour my hour, day by day , cannot change what happened , learning acceptance , difficult . Reading C S Lewis's book A Grief Observed , it helped forty two years ago x

Lovely post Annie. I hope you are doing well today.

Nonnie, first has to come acceptance which is the most difficult . There are things we cannot change and these have to be accepted.

I have to learn to accept I will never know why my daughter took her life, I can guess but will bever truly know , I have to accept this.

We don't know about other people's lives only what they tell us.

You do not know what the future holds for you, none of us do, you think it only holds hurt , it could hold many good things .

Have you a leisure centre in your area ? You can take the children there, sorry I don't know their ages. What about other grandchildren ? They need you too . Your sons need you, your husband needs you.

Hard as it is we have to move forward, life does not stand still. It cannot be as it was but again acceptance . X

Kittty I don't think anyone on here could upset me any more than I already am. I just need someone to stop it all somehow and let me out.

Sorry, I didn't mean to upset you but keeping busy is what helps me when I have troubles.

There is such a lot of sadness on Gransnet at the moment.

Kitty "when I feel ready" when is that going to be? What is the point of thinking of the future when all I can see is hurt and more hurt waiting to hit me. Why do I have to have so much of this in my life when some people get nothing. I was told as a child that we are only given what we can cope with well I can't cope with it. I can't even cope with the thought of tomorrow let alone a future.

When you feel ready Nonnie, maybe you could volunteer for a cause close to your heart or to your son's.

The point of going on is different for each person, other children , grandchildren, husband/partner and would the person grieved for want those grieving to die?

GA we have sponsored 2 lights for the tree of light, one for us and his brother and the other for his children and nephews. We plan to be there for the switch on and, as it will be dark no one will see the tears.

Someone tell me what the point of going on is? Everyone else has to get on with their lives, DSs have their jobs and families, DH has his football and I just sit around knitting stuff for the sake of doing something. What good am I to anyone? Just a burden. If we are allowed to see the GC again we will be walking on eggshells in case we say or do anyhing DiL can find to complain about. And what do we do with them for the half day we will have them for? They are too old for play centres and taking them to the cinema would mean we couldn't talk to them. It is all just too much to bear,

This thread is almost unbearable to read, so I can well imagine how unbearable these tragic bereavements are to you all.
As Annie says, life can never be normal ( i.e. as before) but will always be different.Coming to terms with something like this takes time, and the older we become, the less time there is.
I have been thinking very much about all the sadness on GN lately, and think you are all brave to share these experiences
It can’t be easy.I hope that in so sharing, you find even a crumb or two of comfort.
Our little worlds can be turned upside down so very easily.x

My condolences to those whose losses are still recent, not forgetting those who continue in quiet grief after many years.

It may still be too raw for those of you who have very recently suffered a bereavement, but many churches and hospices hold a 'Tree of Light' service about this time of year; often on the first Sunday in Advent. These services are usually a safe space to remember loved ones in the company of others who are also processing loss and can be very helpful. Just a thought.

Monica a first cousin of mine took her own life several years ago, six weeks later her mother died suddenly. Her doctor told my uncle that his wife had died of a broken heart. I’m not sure what was on the death certificate but our family was in no doubt that the GP was right.

There is so much sadness here. for all those who grieve.