Forgive me yet again

My heart aches for you. xx

Annie try being a little bit kinder to yourself.

I doubt the police will give you the man's address without his permission. I would ask the police to contact him and ask him what he would be comfortable with, but be prepared for him not to want contact with the family. The tragedy will have been a traumatic time for everyone involved. I hope he will agree to you writing a letter. Even if he is not, writing it might help you to grieve.

Dear Annie, no forgiveness necessary. You are much in our thoughts and prayers.
There is so much official stuff to deal with that it seems never ending but it will come to an end.
Even if the police are not able to give you the man's name and address I expect they will forward to him any note or letter that you may want to send and he may even want to speak to you anyway. You just never know but it is entirely possible that he will possibly feel the obviously unnecessary guilt that he was not able to save her and by thanking him for his efforts you may well help him too.

Annie there is no need to apologise for wanting to talk on here. Your daughter took all the photos of the people she loved most in the world as a comfort and to remember you all and how much you meant to her.

At some point it may be a good idea for you to contact the man, perhaps write a letter to him via the police or the coroner's office to let him know that you are grateful for what he tried to do as he must have been distressed that he was unable to help her and it could help you, too, to write to him and express your thanks.

Thinking of you

Oh Annie, such a heartbreaking post from you. I really cant imagine how you must be feeling. I hope it helps in some way that your much-loved daughter had her special photos with her at that tragic time. She was remembering the times when she had been happy.
Could you find out who the man on the bridge was? It might help you to talk to him if this were possible. I do feel for you Annie, it’s so sad.
Sending you love x

No forgiveness needed Anniebach the pain you are going through is unimaginable to anybody who has not been there. To have the experience raked over just now is like reopening a wound which has not even started to heal.
Guilt after any bereavement is a normal reaction so they say, and if I can be racked with guilt over all the times I omitted to tell paw I loved him, or decamped to the spare room to get some sleep instead of snuggling up to him -both of which I am, constantly, how much more does a mother bear when it is in every fibre of our being to “make it better” for our children.
We cannot ease your grief by any actions but be assured every one of us is right there with you whenever you need a spare shoulder

Annie any all I can send you and your lovely family is my love.
I hope and pray that one day will find peace xxx

Oh Annie, I'm so sorry. The pain must be endless. Don't apologise. There's no need.

The drugs you mention; you'll know what paracetamol is. Diazepam is a sedative, paroxetine is a SSRI anti-depressant.

I've heard people who've attempted suicide say that it isn't that they wanted to die, it was that they wanted the situation they were in to stop and they didn't know how else to do that.

Annie there’s no need to say you’re sorry, you needed to ‘talk’ and it’s a very brave thing to do. I’m sure I speak for many when I say, if you need to talk then you must post. No apologies for how you feel.

I can’t think of any words to say to take your hurt away, but what we can do is listen.

Though I agree it would be a nice thing to contact the man who tried to help x

Thank you all, I am truly sorry, I will get myself together , her daughter is 21 tomorrow. Oh how I loved my beautiful sunshine girl.

Nordiazepam is a breakdown product from diazepam so there were three drugs present. Your daughter is now at peace , with no more mental torment ahead. I hope and pray that you too can know God's peace which passes all understanding.x

Annie I have a friend and neighbour whose daughter jumped from a bridge leaving three small children a few years ago.I dont know how she and the rest of the family ever got through it...not OVER it because they just learned to live with it.She has always included her D in our conversations and when asked how many C she has always includes her .I think she copes because she had the GC to think of and she campaigns for more help for mothers with PND .Its far too soon for you to be positive but there will come a time when you can smile again when you talk of her or hear her favourite song...I hope that time comes soon and that it brings peace of mind and an ease of the pain in your heart .

I am sorry, the photographs distressed me, I must get myself together, I am not the only one grieving here . This sounds awful but I wish it had been a fall down stairs, or a physical illness, the thought she didn't want to live yet when well she loved life , I cannot stop asking myself why didn't she come to me, she knew I never locked my door at night in case she needed to come to me for help it to talk, or to be held close, she always wanted me to hold her close if ill or troubled and stroke her hair,

I am so very sorry Anniebach for the pain you must be feeling. The importance of the photographs to your daughter must have meant a lot to her, I wish I had words to help, my heart goes out to you. x

Annie it was very sensible of you to ask for disclosure before the inquest, it has given you an understanding of what evidence will be submitted to the court and time to absorb the information in private.
Can you be encouraged to think of the photographs as your daughter's last expression of closeness to her family? The people she loved, and who loved her, were with her right to the end - in her heart and in her mind; in the decision to take those photographs with her so that perhaps she didn't feel alone.

Diazapan. Nor diazapan. Paroxetine. Paracetamol.

I am sure that those photos brought her comfort and memories of good times and a loving home.

Annie I think your instinct to thank the man who tried to help her is a good one. It may also help him, as I am sure he feels distressed at his inability to save her. To know that you understand, are grateful for his efforts and do not place any blame on him for what he may see as his failure could be enormously helpful to him

Can you talk to her medical advisors about the medication? I am sure they will understand why you feel the need to have this information.

We are all thinking of you -

I don't understand why she was on so much medication , I know she was on the same for quite a long time but didn't know what

Annie, your daughter was loved by , and loved, you all. She was not alone at the end and is at peace now. You have nothing to apologise for , you are a mother in grief and we all wrap our virtual arms around you.

So sorry for your pain, Annie. Your daughter held you all close to her heart. ?

Thinking of you Annie. It must be a little comfort to you knowing that those photos will have brought her thoughts of love. I don’t know how you can deal with this in any other way - you just have to get through each day, and you are so strong. My kindest thoughts and virtual hugs go out to you x

We are always here in Gransnet for you to talk Annie sometimes just the simple act of typing out your thoughts can help.
The police should be able to tell you the name and address of the man who tried to help your DD and it must be a comfort to know that a kind stranger did try to help, and that your DD was not alone at that moment in time. X

As others have said there is absolutely nothing whatsoever for you to be forgiven for Annie You are grieving for your daughter and I cannot begin to imagine how you are getting through every day.

Maybe your daughter took the photos to the bridge to help her remember the good times, the happiest times of her life, before things changed . Might the kind man who tried to save her be able to give you a little peace of mind if you spoke to him? Maybe in time when you are feeling a little stronger you could contact the man and ask the questions that might be playing on your mind, or maybe just thank him for being there. I don’t know. Sorry for rambling .
Thinking of you Annie xx

Annie as others have said, it is all so raw and this has opened it up again. My heart goes out to you.

Her second born , her elder daughter is 21 tomorrow , all a bit much to accept really. Been thinking when she was in labour in the hospital with this daughter she said - I want my mother she always takes my pain away , her husband said - but that's when you have migraines not a baby, she got rather cross and said - you have never had a migraine or a baby I want my mother .