How do you cope

I feel so much guilt over things I said to him and wish I could now unsay and things I wish I'd said. But it's too late. I just hope he knew how much I loved him.

That idea of a well trodden path, but one for which you have no map just explains living with loss so well, totally. I’m fortunate enough to have still have my lovely man at my side and can only imagine how I would be without that. I’ve worked with loss and bereavement for much of my working life but am under no illusions that, come the day, that will enable me to have any better “map” than anyone else does.
Thinking of all with sad hearts today x

So sorry to read this. I have not lost a spouse but have lost a son and all I can say is just keep keeping on until one day you realise you have managed to keep keeping on. I doubt a day will ever go by when you won't think of him but you will eventually learn to accept his loss and start to feel that you will cope.

Sorry, no easy answers but if you are the sort of person who wants to talk about it contact Cruse, if not and you are in a very bad way please do go to your doctor.

Totallylost

Sending hugs& love, take care of yourself

Totallylost, my sincere condolences. I nearly lost my DH two weeks ago. You have made me realise the devastation I would have felt at losing him. He is my rock through such difficult times and I wonder how he has stuck with me over the past 19 months when I know he is going through so much himself. Hang on in there and keep your memories close to you heart.

After losing your DH to a traumatic event like that, no wonder you feel so lost and bereft.

Going ahead with the party was exactly what you should have done, and many others of us would also have done so in the circumstances.

Ignore the nay-sayers, they seem to gather round the bereaved like Job's comforters. A friend, recently bereaved told me some of the crass remarks made to her after her husbands premature death. They were appalling.

Remember that there were aspects of your tragedy that you can be grateful for. You were with your DH when he died so suddenly; you were able to give him every chance of survival by being able to give him CPR - and were successful for a short time. He will know how much you did to save his life and love is shown as much by actions as in words.

Do not worry about how you feel, so seek help through Cruse or otherwise, if you think that will help. Take your time and eventually you will see the dawn again and a new day will come.