Funeral up coming holiday

My dad died 2 days before we were booked ( with our 2 children) to go on holiday. We went the day after the funeral and so had 4 days away. My dad would have been horrified if his granddaughters has missed all their holiday because of him. That was in 1982 and I still miss him

I agree with MOnica, go on your Holiday, depends where you are in the country Funerals can take place 2/3 weeks after the death.

When my DF died a few days before Christmas (many years ago) my DM waited until I & my OH could be there. Only another day or so but we'd had to wait over Christmas it didn't matter.

It is a very personal choice depending on your/DH's relationship with family. Your SiL has 2 DD also so is not alone. Sorry not much help

I would wait and see, unless by cancelling now you can be refunded or can rearrange. My mother cancelled a cruise she and my father had booked because her sister was gravely ill. She, rallied, then died three months later, long after the date of the cruise. I think my mother could have benefitted from a holiday away for a week during that difficult time, since my aunt had close family to support her and each other. My parents lived some distance away and visited once a week, a seven hour round trip. It was hard on my elderly father as the driver. If your brother in law needs you at this time that would be something else to consider, but if he has close family support then I think you should have your short break.

If it's a very short break the chances of the funeral being booked for that week are not massive.
I'd aim to take the holiday but check last minute cancellation policies and practicalities - and keep in close touch right up to the day.

My sister died on the 28th of February and her funeral was on the 20th of April. The reason that it was delayed so long was, 1, The police officer who found her body went on annual leave the next day for two weeks and the coroners officer could not complete his inquiries. 2. My sisters son and daughter in law were on tour with a band on the other side of the world and could not be contacted for over a week. 3, the funeral director said there was a ‘back log’ of jobs so there would be a delay of a week or so to book the funeral with the crematorium . Therefore Overthehill, I would say when the person makes arrangements for the funeral they can request it when they know that all relatives will be able to attend.

If I was close to her I would want to attend her funeral without a doubt and to show moral support to the immediate family. We have had to arrange two funerals for close family, on both times the funeral directors asked us for preferred dates....and we were then given choices within several dates from their diary.
If your holiday is in the UK you could possibly still have some of the holiday if the funeral falls within that week, if the distance involved isn't too far away. Think how you might feel afterwards if you don,t attend, you can,t turn back the clock.

Carly we had our return fares paid back by the insurer when my father died but we did have to produce a Drs. letter. This was to prove that we didn’t know he was ill when we booked.
The bottom line in this dilemma is the family dynamics. We are a close family that are very supportive of each other. If we hadn’t decided to come back for the funeral our family would have been fine about it.
That may be the same in this case but, as many have said, if it is going to cause upset and family division then stay at home.

I'm sorry you have this worry, though if you're only going to be away for a week, the dilemma might not arise. I know some religions require the funeral to take place very quickly, but otherwise they do often take place some time later.
My mother, who was 97 and had advanced dementia, went downhill very suddenly and died about a week before the entire family was going to be away for a big family wedding in France - we were all staying away for at least a week.

It would not have been possible anyway because of availability at the crematorium to have her funeral before we all left, so it was delayed until we were all back.

Similarly, a friend whose husband died, had two sons from a former marriage living abroad, one in Europe, one in SE Asia. She wanted them there for the funeral, but for various reasons they could not get away very soon, so again the funeral was delayed for about a fortnight.

Perhaps ask your sister in law her thoughts?

There are variables to be taken into consideration.
How close are the 2 families?
How many others are there to support the bereaved family?
Could it cause a rift between the brothers or between the cousins?
Is you BiL up to organising without the help of his brother? (Will he be so busy supporting his own children to cope himself?)
How big is the family contingent likely to be? Will your absence be missed?
There seems to be a longer time between death and funeral these days. It used to be a week/ten days. Now it seems to be up to a month

Yes you are understandably worrying. We can’t control events but when we have made decisions we feel less stressed. So I would carry on with the holiday plan and if she should die during or just before the holiday cancel it. Or maybe the funeral can be arranged accordingly. When my mum died my daughter was just about to India on holiday and my mums funeral was postponed three weeks till she got back. When my ex partner died I visited him, flew on off on planned holiday and flew back for funeral a week later.
Life is a bugger.
Funerals unlike holidays are not repeatable. So sorry to hear of your sister in laws illness.

Could you go on holiday knowing the situation?
Alternately go on holiday but be prepared to return should it be necessary.

Don't worry about what hasn't happened. If it does you will now what to decide.

I have one blood relative and we discussed this some years ago as I travel often. We decided that if either of us were abroad when the other died we would not return. We both have directions in our wills which can be activited via solicitors. In my particular case its direct to the crem anyway so not such an issue.

I arrived in USA, and turned right round and came straight back the next day after my friend died suddenly. I couldn't have enjoyed my fortnight in Florida, knowing there were people grieving, and that I should have been. there

I would talk to the family to let them know your dilemma. If they are ok with delaying the funeral I’d go as you are only away for a week. Friends of ours have a house in Cyprus where they go for months at a time. They went in August when her mother (93 and in very poor health) had just been rushed into hospital. Mother died a week later and they did not come back. Funeral will be in November and the body has been in the mortuary all this time. I was shocked by this, and I don’t think I’ll feel quite the same about them again. I wouldn’t have gone in the first place if it was my mother.

When my dad died some family had holidays booked so we delayed the funeral for a few weeks. You might cancel and she might live longer. I would wait and see if I were you. If you have holiday insurance and she dies that should be covered shouldn’t it?

Don't cancel yet, if you cancel for a funeral that isnt even booked you won't get your money back, don't do anything yet, just wait, you can cancel if and when you need to.

You have booked a little holiday. Surely the funeral could wait a week if there is one? No one can tell for sure when somebody is going to die. You should however make a visit before you leave to go on holiday.

Are you really going to enjoy a relaxing (and probably needed) break if you are on thorns all the time waiting for a phone call? I don't think I'd like to waste money on a holiday like that, I'd rather postpone till everything's settled down.

Agree with many others. Depends how close you are and where you are going to. If you are very close cancel now and go later. If not and you can easily get a flight home do that. You can phone every day wherever you are.
Good luck, not a pleasant dilemma

If your were all really close emotionally ( & possibly physically by living near) you would not be asking the question because your DH & you would be offering practical and emotional support to your relatives & would defer the holiday. If , as it sounds , you are not that close then go on holiday. If SiL dies whilst you are,away no problem rw the funeral as they take at lest 10 days to organise.If she dies before you go away then maybe you BiL will take account of your holiday when makinf funeral arrangements.

This person has not died yet so I would carry on with life unless you are the every day support. My mil could die at any time the dr said and she is still here a year later. I personally would not wish people to put their lives on hold if I was in that situation. We are all diffferent though.

Perhaps your Dh could have a word with his Db and ask him what he thought about you carrying on with your weeks holiday.
If unfortunately, Dsil does die while you are away and Dbil has other close family members to support him, it would be fine and the funeral would probably take over a week to arrange anyway.
It's how you feel really, no-one can actually advise you what to do without knowing the entire family dynamic.

We were away when my great aunt died and the funeral was put on hold until we got back.......what does she think?