Funeral up coming holiday

How much time are you spending with her NOW?

The poor soul.. that's all.

they should be able to organise the funeral on a date when you are there. We had a similar problem when my mum died as two of her
granddaughters were abroad with work . We chose the soonest date when they could both be there for the funeral.

We just arranged my parents funeral round everyone,meant waiting 3weeks but nobody minded and everyone could get there,I would say discuss it with him and ask if it does happen could they arrange a date outside of your holidays.

It's extremely difficult and I feel sorry for you but only you can answer the question. I'm sure that in your heart of hearts you know what you are going to do and want/need reassurance for your chosen path. There's no right or wrong solution, you must do what you feel is right for you.

If you stay, will you be visiting your family to give them support if you SIL is still alive? You can offer support via a phone or video phone from almost anywhere so if you wouldn't be visiting, where is the difference to what you would do if you were home?
If I wasn't a frequent visitor I would still go on holiday, ensuring I left full contact details behind, and knowing that I might have to return early for the funeral.
If I was a frequent visitor, I would probably delay my holiday until it was a more opportune time to go.
Finally, what does your DH think? It is up to him to make that decision as it is his family. He will presumably know how much upset it would cause if you went away.
When my DB died a couple of years ago, I had a holiday booked and I still intended to go unless it clashed with the funeral. I was going away for the first time in a long time with a group of school friends and it was an opportunity which was unlikely to come up again for a long time, if at all. Unfortunately the funeral was right in the middle of it so I didn't go. Although I am a strong believer that life is for the living and I knew my DB would have understood, I would not have felt right going whilst the rest of my family were all together grieving.
My cousin went ahead with her holiday and missed the funeral of her mother. We could all see why she felt able to do that but it did make us all gasp when we were told.

When my mother died I was in California and my niece lives in Barbados so my sister delayed the funeral until we could attend. Often these days funerals cannot be held for a couple of weeks or more because the undertakers are booked up.
Your sister in law may last longer and you will have cancelled for nothing. Any way if you have travel insurance you will be able to return.

My son and family on holiday when my husband died last year; 1st day of second week.he was ill but not expected that quick. I said stay nothing they could do and had family and friends supporting me. Be there in the months afterwards that is when support is most needed.

Difficult one for you, but if it was me I would book my holiday and go, you are not going on a long holiday and as other posts have said funeral dates can be managed. We were booked for NZ for 2 months when my mil became ill but after a discussion we went and she died 14 months later when we were home.

We went to see her today. My DH family are not close. Sadly she cannot speak now and cannot walk although she can understand what is said and my BIL can understand her response to questions by vague movements. We went today to show support for him. We only see my DH family twice a year Christmas and Easter. Although she has been battling cancer for the past three years she has led a fairly normal life up until May this year when she took a downturn and a rapid decline in the last couple of weeks.

My husband died in May,he had been in a care home,and not well for some time.I have a son and daughter from my 1st marriage.My daughter and her husband had a 2 and a half week holiday planned,my daughter did offer to cancel ,I told her not to,she looked into it anyway,and they would have lost a lot of money.My son and his family were going away just for a few days within that time.When I went to the funeral home,they arranged the funeral for 3 weeks after my husband had passed away,they said they are often that length of time anyway.So,my family were back to support me,it wasn't a problem.Have your holiday if you can.

You can go o a holiday at anytime, you can only go to your sister in law’s funeral once. I think perhaps she and her family deserve that respect.

The problems with a prognosis is that it is not definite.

Are you insured overthehill - and would your insurance cover cancellation in the event of a sister-in-law's death or not?
Those are the practicalities.

I am sorry to hear about this. If your DB has family close by they will be supporting him and if you are away for a week or so that could be understandable if you had already booked.
However, we just delayed booking a holiday because a close friend lost his wife and we were waiting for quite a while to know when the funeral was.
We also had to cancel a long-haul flight because MIL died unexpectedly - however, the insurance did cover the cost eventually.

If this should happen whilst you are away, the arrangements will not happen so quickly that you will not be back in time for the funeral.

If the worst should happen, I'm sure the funeral could be arrange to take place outside this one week window that you're away. It's not as though you're away for six weeks.

Personally, if I were the person dying I would rather you went on holiday and enjoyed actual life, rather than putting in on hold in case I died. The funeral is just one aspect of the loss for her partner. Being there for him in the months and years afterwards is more important.

This is simple. Three plus years ago my husband died in August. Several close family members including my daughter and her family were about to go on holiday abroad. So we just put the funeral on hold for a month and actually I appreciated the time I had to arrange just what I wanted. I have also known a family that followed our example because of ill health and a dear friend who delayed the funeral of her teenage son because she was so distraught, he had committed suicide and was cremated a year later when she felt more able to cope.

It's now pretty much mid-October. Maybe your SIL won't die until December or beyond. You never quite know.

If I were in your shoes, I'd wait and see for the next week. If she dies, cancel the holiday. If she doesn't die, perhaps go on the holiday but be prepared to return.

Whenever the poor lady dies, the funeral won't be for a week or two.

Depends on how close you are to BIL and SIL perhaps.

If it's really worrying you, cancel the holiday now.

My gran, who I was very close to, died a couple of days before our short break. We went ahead with the holiday, although we had to come back a day early for the funeral. It was such a miserable holiday, i would never, ever do it again.

I agree Pat1949....I really can't believe this...holiday or funeral...excuse me family is dying how sad last thing on my mind would be holiday enjoying myself going away would seem so disrespectful.I lost my husband 2 years ago family and friends cancelled all plans to be at his funeral because they all loved him.

What is overthehill supposed to do maryeve? Her DH's brother knows they are supporting him; he has family who will be there for him and his very sick wife. Presumably overthehill would not be there on a daily basis so a week away will not make a jot of difference and they can keep in touch daily, although they may not be enjoying themselves very much.

It's not disrespectful at all - I am sure they will be there at the funeral and afterwards when he will need most support.

Jallima1108.....Just think its so sad that poor lady dying and her husband must be in bits ..they both need every little bit of support they can get...before during and after the funeral.Its family and many are commenting as though its an inconvenience that poor lady dying...god forbid you ruin your holiday because of it. I give up bye bye gransnet.

I would definitely cancel. If I just went ahead and she died while I was away, I couldn’t enjoy myself anyway and all my thoughts would be with the family.
On another note, I’m amazed at the way funerals in England take place such a long time after a death. Is there any particular reason for that? Seems like a very long drawn out process for the family. Here in Northern Ireland our dead are buried within three or four days.

I agree with Maryeve that some of the comments on here sound like the poor SIL’s death is an inconvenience. The way some people have responded - you’d think it was the dog or cat rather than a very ill, close family member.

My father in law died when my brother and sister in law were on holiday. We obviously phoned them and told them, but told him to hold tight whilst we went to the undertakers. As it happened the earliest we could actually have the funeral was virtually 3 weeks after he had died. I think you should go, and be prepared to fly back if necessary. Just say your goodbyes before you go and let your brother in law know that you are only a phone call away

You said it was 'a little holiday - intimating that this is not the vacation of a lifetime. Family come first - and a sister is close family. So of course you would attend the funeral to support your other family. No brainer imho.