Gransnet forums


terminally ill granddaughter

(97 Posts)
teatime Fri 26-Oct-18 18:49:55

My granddaughter aged 9 was diagnosed with a brain tumour in May. She is now being given end of life care by the local hospice at home. My heart is broken, I love her so much. I used to look after her three times a week until a couple of years ago when her mother gave up work. My son and daughter in law now want it to be just them looking after her and I have to wait until they say I can visit, at present a couple of days a week. I do understand this but feel desperate at not being able to see her more. My biggest worry is that for the past 3 weeks she has been unable to speak, move, or open her eyes. She is fed via an NG tube. She can hear, and the thought that she may be so frightened but cannot tell anyone is terrifying.

harrigran Sat 27-Oct-18 15:16:54

This is heart breaking teatime, there are no words that can comfort but I send a {{hug}}.

callgirl1 Sat 27-Oct-18 15:40:59

Life just isn`t fair. Thinking of you and yours, Teatime.

2420mags Sat 27-Oct-18 17:26:56

This is a sad situation and l think all you can do is go with her parents wishes. They must be in pieces.
l can reassure you that The Hospice at Home Care is second to none. They also care for the whole family and although there are some confidentiality issues they can
talk to you and give you accurate information to allay your worries. Why don't you give them a ring? it will be helpful. You could start by going on the hospice's website.
The other things are to busy yourself with things that would support you son and Dil - food, looking after dog etc
l do have a good friend who, with her husband, nursed their young daughter through terminal cancer, at home, and the worst was her having lung secondaries. 2 years on her mum gets flash backs, has withdrawn from everything socially. All we can do is keep in touch by text as she doesn't want to meet. l bump into my friend's mother ( daughter's granny ) and she talks to me because her daughter is so bereft contact is very superficial. She feels hurt because she is grieving too. Like you she just has to hang in there and be there for them. Its an awful situation for you but worse for her parents.

LullyDully Sat 27-Oct-18 17:53:44

Poor little soul. How tragic for you all. Take care. Mx

rafichagran Sat 27-Oct-18 18:18:18

flowers xxx

farview Sat 27-Oct-18 18:35:59

Oh to express the sadness I feel for you and your family...I can't find the words..also sending virtual hugs and love..God bless you all and give you strength ??

mumofmadboys Sat 27-Oct-18 19:07:57

Thoughts and prayers for you all xx

GranEd Sat 27-Oct-18 19:24:54

So sorry. flowers xx

EllanVannin Sat 27-Oct-18 19:26:16

Bless her. I can't think of a worse situation for grandparents and parents to be in. I keep saying that life is so unfair at times and it truly is. Love and Peace to all. xx

Suki70 Sat 27-Oct-18 19:53:32

What a heart breaking situation. My thoughts are with your poor granddaughter, her parents and you Teatime.

DisrespectfulWoman Sat 27-Oct-18 21:58:52

What a heartbreaking post. Thinking of you all xx

Grannynise Sat 27-Oct-18 22:17:27

So sad for all of you. I hope you find the strength to help each other through this awful time.

Lindylou51 Sun 28-Oct-18 16:51:31

Such heartbreaking news Teatime. Sending you virtual hugs.

PamelaJ1 Fri 02-Nov-18 08:26:04

Still. Thinking of you and your family.

TwiceAsNice Fri 02-Nov-18 08:49:06

So so sad for you all. Life is very cruel sometimes. I do understand a little of what you are going through as my son died of cancer ( leukaemia) just before he was 5. He was unconscious at the end and couldn't respond to us but we kept talking to him. If it would help you at all please PM me. You will all be in my thoughts and prayers. Does your granddaughter have siblings you could help them a lot if so.

debohunXL5 Fri 02-Nov-18 13:30:35

So sad thinking of you. Life is so cruel. flowers

luluaugust Fri 02-Nov-18 16:40:06

I am so very sorry and thinking of you flowers

nigglynellie Sat 03-Nov-18 10:05:07

flowers and hugs Teatime.

morethan2 Sun 04-Nov-18 06:46:17

I am so very sorry to hear your sad news Teatime There is nothing I can say to comfort you but please know that I will be thinking of you, your much loved granddaughter and her parents. It’s unbearably hard to standby helplessly and watch such tragic events unfold. Your love for your son and his family will help to sustain you during this awful time. Please look after yourself too.

NanKate Sun 04-Nov-18 07:34:12

I pray that your DGD is at peace soon. It is absolutely heartbreaking ?

BBbevan Sun 04-Nov-18 07:59:48

teatime I have just caught up with your very sad news. Go do bless you all and especially your DGD