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Bereavement

Wedding rings after death of husband

(121 Posts)
Gypsyqueen13 Thu 20-Dec-18 10:46:57

Good morning everyone, I lost my husband nearly 2 years ago. I still wear my wedding ring etc as in my mind we are still married! I received a comment recently from an acquaintance that they were surprised that I still wore them. It has never occurred to me that I should take them off and would almost feel like a betrayal. Just interested to hear the opinions of others. Thank you

rascal Thu 20-Dec-18 21:39:27

I still wear mine. It will be twelve years in January since my beloved husband died very suddenly. I would never dream of taking my rings off. smile

Melanieeastanglia Thu 20-Dec-18 21:48:25

I think you should do as you please. Many widows continue to wear their wedding and engagement rings and I expect just as many choose not to wear them. It is a personal choice.

In the years to come, if you wish to meet someone else, I suppose there is the argument that wearing a wedding ring indicates you are not free. Maybe you will wish to meet someone else and maybe you will not wish to do this.

The whole matter is up to you entirely.

Willow500 Thu 20-Dec-18 21:55:41

I can't imagine why anyone would think you shouldn't be wearing your ring if you wore it when your husband was alive. Wear it with pride.

I don't wear mine but only because it irritates my finger - all rings do.

tanith Thu 20-Dec-18 21:59:31

Ian only recently widowed and I have no intention of not wearing my ring in fact I’ve also worn my husbands ring since the day he died. It’s been a comfort to feel it on my hand.

wot Thu 20-Dec-18 23:16:35

I wear my mums wedding ring and never take it off. If I have an operation they have to tape over it. I remember the Christmas my dad gave it to mum as they couldn't afford one before that. That was in 1962. It's very precious to me.

MissAdventure Thu 20-Dec-18 23:22:07

I found it really touching, working with the elderly.
Holding their hands, and seeing wedding rings, worn thin..
It makes me quite choked up, how lovely that people keep them on.. smile

Eloethan Thu 20-Dec-18 23:35:39

I think it's rather rude and insensitive of anybody to make such a comment. I think it's nobody's business but your own.

Teetime Fri 21-Dec-18 08:54:23

I shan't be making any comment to my daughter about whether she wears her wedding rings or not - its her business and her comfort.

Culag Fri 21-Dec-18 09:53:25

I still wear mine but it is now on my little finger. It got very tight and was difficult to remove and I didn’t like the idea of being shackled to a bit of metal. I am happy to take it off if needed as I don’t do symbolism much. Each to their own.

Minerva Fri 21-Dec-18 10:05:49

What a strange comment for anyone to make. I think I would have told her to mind her own business.

red1 Fri 21-Dec-18 10:06:25

a ring is a symbol that you wear when you marry,when people divorce I would say why wear it,especially if you are with someone else.if you are widowed and don't intend to be with someone else then I would say its ok,but then who am I to judge what someone wears? ive a friend who left her husband 10 years ago not divorced but still wears ring,i asked her why,she replied -security?! nuts

MawBroon Fri 21-Dec-18 10:06:49

Possibly in slightly more forthright terms too Minerva.
How rude and hurtful.

MawBroon Fri 21-Dec-18 10:07:56

Teetime flowers
What a sad time for you all.

JanaNana Fri 21-Dec-18 10:08:20

Yes keep wearing your rings. Unless someone is looking to have a new relationship that is the only reason I can think of why you would remove them.

optimist Fri 21-Dec-18 10:10:00

Actually I was married for fifty years until my husband died 3 years ago. When we married I bought my own wedding ring (he was working abroad) and wore it for the ceremony and never wore it again even though we had three children.

Grampie Fri 21-Dec-18 10:11:03

We wear a wedding ring to ward off unwanted sexual interest. And most times it works.

Just consider this before you discard your wedding ring.

Let the pale empty groove around the base of your ring finger be the message.

PamSJ1 Fri 21-Dec-18 10:11:16

My husband died just over 2 years ago and I still wear mine although it’s not my original ring. I had to take that off a few years ago for an x-ray and could get it back on. So for good few years I’ve been wearing a silver ring that my husband had given to my daughter so it has sentimental value.

pen50 Fri 21-Dec-18 10:11:57

I followed the Spanish custom, and on a significant (to us) date after my husband's death - New Year's Eve to be precise - I moved the ring to my right hand (actually the Spaniards move it from right to left but it was the principle I liked.) So now I have two ring scars, the one of my marriage and the one of my widowhood. I quite like it as a way of paying respect but marking the change in status.

Gilly1952 Fri 21-Dec-18 10:12:06

I am divorced and on a dating site where I have met a few gentlemen who were widowers - all wore their wedding rings. I find it touching that they still wear their rings and would not expect them to remove them just because they had lost their wives. I have two widowed lady friends, both of whom would be horrified if anyone suggested they stop wearing their wedding rings!

Daddima Fri 21-Dec-18 10:14:02

My friend’s mother had hers enlarged when she got engaged to her second husband, and wore them on her right hand , (at her new husband’s suggestion).

Summerstorm Fri 21-Dec-18 10:16:04

It’s 25 years since my husband died and if it wasn’t for my fingers swelling and becoming a bit mishaped due to arthritis I would still be wearing them. I’ve recently came into a wee bit of cash and have seriously thought about having a bit put in so that I could wear them again

Esspee Fri 21-Dec-18 10:16:27

It is perfectly normal, each to his/her own. Perhaps she felt that it might make it more difficult to meet anyone else as it looks like you are currently married.

lovebeigecardigans1955 Fri 21-Dec-18 10:17:56

I may be wrong but I get the impression that removing your wedding ring is an American thing, especially in films. I was widowed eight years ago and still wore mine (and the eternity ring which DH very bravely bought for me when he suffered from motor neurone disease and could barely speak) and I'm sad that I had to get them both cut off in A&E when I fell down the stairs.
I've got them in a safe place and hope to get them mended in due course. I don't feel right without them.

ReadyMeals Fri 21-Dec-18 10:20:26

I think it's fairly normal for a widow to wear her ring unless or until she feels ready to commit to a new partner.

Saggi Fri 21-Dec-18 10:24:42

Hi Gypsyqueen13...I have been married 46 years and have not worn a wedding ring since day 2 of marriage ...reason being is that my husband refused to wear one! Good enough I said and took mine off.! It’s entirely up to you what you do.If you still feel married ...wear it! Don’t be swayed by others opinion of you.