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Said goodbye to Dad

(31 Posts)
minxie Wed 16-Jan-19 19:53:54

So at last we said goodbye to Dad, it was a lovely funeral and it was noted that the love was felt as the service was held.
Going to Dads house and seeing everything in the house just waiting for him is difficult
I sometimes go round and sit in his chair to be near him and I just stare at his cap
Life sucks at the moment

seacliff Wed 16-Jan-19 20:05:35

Oh I know how you feel, so sorry.

I still feel sad not to have my dear Dad, it is 8 years now. Dad left some diaries (not private, just every day stuff) and I took comfort from reading them for quite a few months after.

I'm glad the funeral went well and you all saw how much he was loved. Be kind to yourself, he is still with you in your heart x

Anniebach Wed 16-Jan-19 20:06:08

minxie, I am so very sorry ,I felt so lost when my father died. I send you hugs x

tanith Wed 16-Jan-19 20:12:23


Squiffy Wed 16-Jan-19 20:20:21

So sorry minxie. Enjoy your memories flowers

GrannyLiv Wed 16-Jan-19 20:21:08

Sending you my love too, Minxie. I know it's hard, but it will get easier as you go along.

It's good that you have his diaries, they will help you feel that he is still close. My Dad passed away in the early 1990's and I have a gardening diary he kept one year. I get it out and read it every now and then - it's mostly just lists of jobs he had to do in the garden and a record of what he had planted (I can hear his voice when I read the plant names), but bang in the middle of it all he describes the night we all gathered together for my birthday! I will never part with it.

Take things slowly and take it easy on yourself. I hope you can find comfort in your Dad's writings xx

Grannybags Wed 16-Jan-19 20:49:25


morethan2 Wed 16-Jan-19 21:33:09

Condolences, it’s early days please be kind to yourself. Grief is hard to bare.

PECS Wed 16-Jan-19 21:54:14


storynanny Wed 16-Jan-19 23:32:51

My lovely dad died 2 years ago a few weeks after my 60 th birthday tea party. He decided to make a little speech and someone recorded it, I havent yet been able to watch or listen to it. Funnily enough it seems to get harder to persuade myself

ginny Wed 16-Jan-19 23:57:54

So sorry for your loss. I hope you will soon be able to enjoy remembering the good times.

minxie Thu 17-Jan-19 15:14:33

Thank you Ladies. I found his 90th birthday book and he wrote some lovely poetry about my late Mum and then about how wonderful his party was and this was from a man who didn’t show his feelings much

seacliff Thu 17-Jan-19 15:20:17

Sometimes you only get to see some aspects of a loved one after they die. I loved listening to stories about my Dad when he was young, told by his old friends, at his funeral.

How lovely for you that you have that birthday book with his poems, Minxie. flowers

Willow500 Thu 17-Jan-19 15:27:33

It's 8 years now since my dad died. His funeral was so nice with so much love shown from all those who attended. My son did the eulogy and everyone applauded.

Take time to grieve - it's lovely you have his diaries to look back on. flowers

Nonnie Thu 17-Jan-19 16:05:30

Something I stole from here (think it was Maw) 'To live in the hearts of those we leave behind is not to die' It moved me. flowers

Luckygirl Thu 17-Jan-19 16:49:18


Mapleleaf Fri 18-Jan-19 18:22:17

flowers. Take one day at a time, minxie. It's still raw at the moment, but it will become easier with time. I like what Nonnie has quoted. It's so very true.

cornergran Fri 18-Jan-19 19:28:01

That birthday book is very special minxie. I’m so sorry for your loss. Be gentle with yourself, please don’t think you have to ‘be’ any particular way. My Dad died 18 years ago yesterday, I’m so pleased I kept things that were special to him.

maya1000 Fri 01-Mar-19 12:02:47

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MissAdventure Fri 01-Mar-19 12:04:59

Of course.

megan123 Fri 01-Mar-19 12:55:48

minxie flowers

paddyann Fri 01-Mar-19 13:36:58

My mother asked us to clear out dads things just days after he died.She said she couldn't bear to see them in the bedroom so my sister and I did it.It was hard but we found all sorts of things that made us laugh and see life differently .
Like my mother I dont place any importance on "things" and didn't keep any of his belongings ,I do have a list of plants and instructions on how to plant and grow and care for them that he wrote for me when I got married 44 years ago.I still use it .He had the most beautiful handwriting .

Jan321 Tue 26-Mar-19 16:39:34

My dad has just died at the age of 88, our relationship was not a typical one though. During my teenage years he left our family for another in Wales. Only when his wife died did contact me again. Our relationship never really recovered. Does anyone else have this type of bereavement from an estranged parent?

lure1959 Sat 06-Apr-19 15:03:15

So srry for your loss .Ilost my dad twenty years ago he was my dad my freind we did alot to gether we fished for years it will get better in time. For comfort i hung his walking stick from a tree branch in the garden .we do things like that for comfort take care

Itsnew01 Thu 20-Jun-19 13:55:26

Condolences for your loss