I think I will feel better if I return to my home town

Mosaic I was worried that you would hate the poem! I love it. Have a look around where you are now because at least it is familiar. We moved six years ago for my husband’s benefit, it has taken me a long time to get to know anyone but at least I have people to pass the time of day with now. Think very carefully before you uproot your self.

I become very nostalgic and homesick for my birthplace, and for the place we lived when the children were small. Where I live now will never really be home although my children grew up here. But when I think of returning, I realise it’s not a place I miss, but a time, and people, and they will never come back. So I’m afraid mosaicwarts we have no choice but to move forward, however much the past pulls us back. The poem says it all really.

Lol don't go back to Whitton

Septimia
Surrey is a very big place. Most of it is a far cry from being dirty, dusty and smelly.

Things change and time goes on , so don't think it will be the same if you return . You need to be where you have family or good friends round you .

I'm not sure about the adage "Never go back'. We have returned to Orkney 3 times since 1974 for extended periods and are hoping that we will be 3rd time lucky and stay forever now. However, I have kept in touch with friends made there in the 70's and had a job for 6 years during our second sojourn so made more friends. I could not move anywhere I had no friends. Lossiemouth is where I spent the most time as a child. It is beautiful and my other favourite place. I know no-one there now, though, and could not live in a place where I did not have a circle of friends. It depends on what is important to you mosaic.

You have eliminated your old road as a potential for a new start. What is the rest of the town like? Places deteriorate and then often improve.could there be such an area in your home town especially is you are looking for a flat. If the town in general still has a 'buzz' for you an other area in it could be the answer. Left my home town 10 years ago and certainly wouldn't go back especially to same area in it.

I live in Twickenham, not far from Whitton. It's still fairly quiet and laid back (I grew up not far away and went to Twickenham County school). For a dog-owner, being round here is pretty much as idyllic as it can get in the suburbs. You already know how many parks you would be close to. Crane Park is always full of cheery dog-walkers, plus there's Marble Hill and Richmond Park. Can you spend some time down here before committing, look around closely, check out the shops and the area again before you make such a huge decision?

I would never go back because how I remember somewhere is not how it is today

Only do it if you can take off your rose covered glasses and are prepared to put in a lot of work!
I returned to my home town after only 5 years away, after my marriage broke up and even though physically the place hadn't really changed all that much ( I knew about the housing developments that had taken place) but socially I was a complete newcomer!
All of the friends I had known for years had moved away either because of marriage or work and in fact I had lost contact with them - letters and Christmas cards had not been returned even though sent to their parents address, and the few times I met up with them, I just drew a blank when trying to pick up the friendships and haven't seen them since!
I had to work hard at making a completely new social circle that changed every few years as people moved away with their partners jobs!
Maybe try somewhere nearby that may prove to be cheaper or when it comes down to it, why not the Isle of Wight?

We left our house in Hampton in 1977 to go to the Netherlands for 2 years. The 2 years extended to 18 and meanwhile we kept the house. I had lovely memories of our first house and was excited to see it again when we got back. It was such a disappointment. Hampton was not the sleepy village I left but a graffitied town. We could not wait to move north to the East Midlands for a new start. I often think I would like to go back to the Netherlands but even there things have changed and moved on. I would never go back - always look forward - it is far more exciting.

My dear aunt had a very happy married life but no children. She and her wonderful husband lived all their married life in Herefordshire and were very happy there with lots of friends and activities. When he died at the early age of 63, she was lost without him. She decided to move back to South Wales to be closer to her one remaining sister, who was widowed with two daughters. Neither of them drove and she bought a house on the opposite side of town to her sister. They hardly ever saw each other and the two daughters both had jobs and families, so weren’t able to visit much. We lived 90 miles away and had a toddler and my husband had his own restaurant, which was very time-consuming, so we were only able to visit occasionally, although I phoned her a lot. She was very lonely and called me more and more. She refused to get a TV for company. Things went downhill and she developed dementia. Then she slipped on the stairs and broke her hip. She was unable to go back to her house. I had to go down there with toddler in tow and look at care homes for her. We had to sell her house to pay for it. Her dementia was terrible and she couldn’t communicate, but we knew she was desperately unhappy. She fell out of bed and broke her hip again but the doctors said it was too dangerous to operate. Eventually she passed away, after a lot of suffering. If she had stayed in Herefordshire, she was within walking distance of everything and had many friends who would call in. Going back never works! (I loved Felix Dennis’s poem, by the way!)

I live on the south coast, have met many people who wished they never moved, as they've left everything familiar behind. Doctors, hospitals, etc. full of old people, difficult to get appointments, busy roads at certain times. Why not make some new memories instead?
Somewhere suitable for increasing age, a bungalow with mod cons within walking distance of shops, surgeries, etc.? Good public transport would be a must.

That's something I'd forgotten too Dianic - Kneller Hall.
In the storms of 1986 I was so worried about my Mum, she used to walk the wall to the bus stop. She stayed at home that day luckily - sadly it did collapse on someone My neighbour's garden wall was also blown down. So frightening, I was teaching at Richmond College at the time, we were evacuated when the roof came off the sports hall.

My grandma used to live in Milner Drive, my aunt on the Warren Road. As a child I was bought up at 63 Hounslow Road, when my parents divorced my Mum moved to Whitton Dene. My best friend had a studio flat near to Chase Bridge, can't remember the name of the block. I can't imagine what Mogden smells like now! My husband and I couldn't afford Whitton proper when we married, we bought in Dean Road behind the South Western pub - called 'Whitton borders' at the time!

Feel better just talking to people who know the area. Thanks for writing. Back to looking at new builds!

humptydumpty.Me too. Having moved thirty years ago from a part of the country where I had spent my childhood and most of my married life I know I could never go back.The past is the past.

Mosaic I am sorry for your loss. It is very hard to find your stride after losing a loved one.

I don't know you but am wondering how long ago you lost your spouse. I have heard some very good advice not to make a major life change within the first year or so after such a loss. We are still grieving.

It may be worth taking some small steps toward connecting locally first. Try a Meetup (an online resource that helps people find interest groups that are happening in your area) or a class (I have tried acting, yoga, spinning on a spinning wheel among other things), or a club (photography, quilting, a walking club), or a volunteer activity (reaching out to help others often helps us as much as them).

And before you move consider whether you are moving toward something that will help you grow or just trying to find solace.

I hope you find what you are looking for.

Could you afford to rent in Whitton or nearby for 6 months? I live in Teddington, but worked in Whitton first for a doctor and then in the library, I still go there every week to the community centre with my upholstery group. I have always found it to be a very friendly place and the transport links are very good. Also if you are a"certain age" you get free public transport all over London which is wonderful.

I can’t think of anything worse than moving anywhere near London. I have a flat in West London and hardly spend any time there less and less. It’s noisy, unsafe, expensive, polluted, and who needs that at gran stage .

Hello MosaicWarts.
Just wondering where you are on Northumberland Coast. I live at Embleton and love the beach and the friendly local people.
We moved here after our daughter died, and love the slower way of life. Am slowly finding the peace and beauty of this area is easing the pain of not having her in our lives. However there are two of us. So different circumstances to you.
Perhaps you could put your things in storage and just rent somewhere furnished for a few months- until you are sure you can make a new life in the area you came from.
I hope you can find somewhere you can start a new way of life. Take your time.

I’m not originally from Whitton but I did live there for a while in the ‘70’s, I found the aircraft noise pretty intrusive even then and it must be a lot worse now. I think you would find it very difficult to live with after Northumberland. As someone else has suggested, if possible, try and rent somewhere in Whitton for 6 months or so before committing to living there permanently - just in case you find the place is very different from what you’re remember it to be.
BTW ... I’ve just moved to the North East and really feel that I’ve “come home” although it’s not where I was born and bought up.

Dianic - when I fist came to work in London, I worked for Beechams on the Great West Road, and lived in Isleworth, whilst OH was a junior doc at the West Mid.... and we then moved to Staffs, and later in East Leics for 35 years- where we still have a holiday flat...

Moved back to within a few miles of where I was born, bred and educated- in Western Switzerland. I love it- and yet, yes, I'd warn about those rose tinted glasses. The place you grew up in has probably changed, and so have the people you knew- and so have you.

Sometimes I feel I've never left- and other times, I feel like an alien. That is in fact the reality for anyone who ups sticks. I am so glad we have DDs and GDs in the UK in places we love, and our own place too- as they all provide total contrast. We did think we might return one day- when we can't travel as easily as we do know between here, Surrey, Warwickshire and East Leics and here - but with things going as they are in the UK we probably will never do so- even if we have to tighten our belt a lot.

What about West Sussex or Hampshire? Lots of beaches there and nowhere near as noisy as Whitton. Chichester is lovely, there’s Brighton and it’s surroundings, Southampton area.

I also don't think you can go back, other than for a look around. You mentioned the Isle of Wight. I lived there for 40+ years and have very happy memories of that period in my life. However wild horses wouldn't get me back there to live. Someone talked about it being quieter and a slower pace of life - not sure that's true anymore. However what is very true is that it is isolated and it costs a small fortune to get off if travelling with a car - whichever company you travel with. Good luck with your decision.

I live in Twickenham......which is near Whitton. And I love it!

I second the idea of renting - maybe even at first, just a few days in a small b&b whilst you look about.
I have 'gone back', which is why I am posting. I always felt that where I lived most of my adult life, was like a 'posting' - I liked it, met some great people, but never felt I 'belonged'. I now feel myself to be 'home'.
However, my circumstances are different:
I still have my DH who consented to be dragged here, and loves it.
It is a rural area, and although a lot has changed, there is still a lot that is familiar.
I still have 2 family members and 1 old friend living in the area.
It is not, actually, very far from where we previously lived, so meeting friends halfway, or visiting, is not too difficult.

There are some parts of the country where people tend to 'stay' and this is one - although of course plenty of people of all sorts come and go, there still feels here, as if there is a 'core' of shared memories; and my family have lived here as far back as records go. I belong to the local History Group and share family stories.
There are other parts (such as where I spent most of my adult life) where large numbers of people come and go for work and the shared memories are different.

I think that if you can afford to wander a little bit and try out places (if need be, renting out your own home) you may be able to find out what works for you. I think your idea of going back, re-tracing steps is a good one - it will help you work out where you'd like to be.