So very sorry for your situation Jules. I've had a slightly similar experience. DP wanted always to be independent but eventually, in late eighties, was involved in an incident which showed all too clearly that that independence was lost, and died, in frail but reasonable health, only a couple of weeks later. As many have said, just gave up. Other DP still continued to enjoy life, despite the grief, but suddenly, 14 years later, does not see the point and, after a recent brief hospital visit is talking about how 'nice it would have been to just have slipped away'. And I feel guilty for being the nearest relative and not able to solve this. I think we would all like to be in control of our own life, not have it decided for us, which leads almost inevitably to considering our own death. For myself, I couldn't decide now when would be the ideal age to die, but when I get there I'm sure I'll know, and I hope I'm able to influence and be at peace with it. I just hope my family will understand. I do know they will be able to cope without me and perhaps this is why your mother feels ready to go too. You have the right to feel angry but you have the strength of your family supporting you. I hope you too find the strength to be at peace with your mother's decision and perhaps rationalise it in due course.