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Death of my son

(56 Posts)
nessie24 Mon 19-Aug-19 19:30:29

My son died suddenly on the 10th January 2019. I'm trying to get on with the normal things like going back to work to pay the bills but I'm finding it hard. Work are very good and help me all they can but I can't talk about him to them because they don't understand. I feel I can't talk to my family as don't want to upset them. My partner who wasn't my son's dad thinks I should be over the grief by now or he don't know what to say or do. He tries but seems to say the wrong thing. I cry alot because I miss him so much. I only had him for 26 years and I feel half of me has gone with him. I write in a diary to my son everyday and look at photos all the time. I'm not looking for a miracle just advice from people who have been through the same thing or advice from a councilor.

Beeny Sat 21-Sep-19 23:38:36

I'm new here, having only become a gran a couple of months ago. I'm hoping for a little collective wisdom. My 22 year old son, my granddaughter's father, was killed in a horrific car accident two weeks ago. The funeral is on Tuesday. His girlfriend, of only 18 months, is refusing to give back his watch, which was passed down to him from my father. I would like to give the watch to his twin brother, which is what my father would have wanted. The girlfriend says she wants it for her daughter, but is wearing it every day. I don't know what to do.

Franbern Mon 02-Dec-19 18:54:20

Nessie , my 25 year old youngest child (a son)died tragically in April 2002. I am fortunate that I have five other children. We all know that there is a hole in the family and will never totally recover from this loss.
On the second anniversary of his death I wrote a very bitter little poem, complaining about people who said that 'Time Heals'. They were correct - but a lot longer than two years! That first year is dreadful, everything reminds you of him and what should be happening.
surely, your partner understands your grief - and perhaps he is concerned about talking about it in case it upsets you. I found for the first few months all I wanted to talk about was him - indeed, a member of an cttee I was on, trying to get me to attend, and I was reluctant as I told her I was the worlds prize bore, as all I wanted to talk about was mty son, actually said the lovely words 'Come along and bore us'.
It will take a very long time to start to recover from this death, after about five years it does get slowly better, although never completely passes.
Talk about him, good things as well as bad ones. At first the family came together on the anniversary of his death, after three years we stopped that - and now meet up on his birthday to celebrate his life. All the children in the family (born since his death) know about him and we talk to the about Uncle G. Photographs of him hang in each of our homes, and at family occasions we raise a glass to him.
You are in such early days, talk to your GP, talk to your partner and other family members, do not hug your grief too close to yourself, share it and give yourself lots and lots of time.
This first Christmas and festive season will be hard for you - don't try to pretend everything is okay - it is not.

Urmstongran Mon 02-Dec-19 19:11:48

nessie24 I didn’t want to read and retreat. I have no words of wisdom.

Christmas time will be hard time for you I bet.

💐 these are for you (if you are still on GN). x

BlueBelle Sun 08-Dec-19 05:25:16

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Norman1939 Mon 09-Dec-19 12:04:53

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