A lot of you will know my DiL died recently. The funeral has been arranged. So we are all at that horrible stage of dread. We know it has to be done but it’s an truly horrible anxiety period of waiting. As well as bursting into tears and the horrible sadness I’m getting really anxious. We know and understand that numbers will be limited inside but people can line the route and stand outside. There’s a wake after the service and the venue can accommodate a lot of people with social distancing for those who feel strongly about complying. Some are coming from 200 miles away. My relatives are travelling and will have to stay three days.many will be in hotels but obviously there’ll be lot of ‘gatherings’ probably at my house I would normally feel a little anxious about feeding and occupying relatives but now I’m getting into a real state about it. Im tired and emotionally drained. Im also worried about those who want to social distance. It’ll be near impossible, what with three young children who’ll run to much loved relatives for comfort. To make matters worse my oldest grandson(23) is insisting (he’s already bought the ticket) on coming by train. He’s autistic and will have a long train journey and have to manage the underground by himself. He’s never done that before. I don’t know what to worry about the most. I’m starting to feel completely overwhelmed and with a feeling of absolute dread.
The other thing is I’m not sure about going to see my DiL in the chapel of rest. At first I said no. I spent a lot of time with my DiL before she went to the hospice. We became very close but my memory is of her in such distress that maybe if I saw her at peace it might help. It’s such a difficult decision. Oh dear 
More than thinking of you and all your family. 
Oh Morethan , I am so, so sorry - I hope that you and your family, your son , their children , your dil’s family will get strength from somewhere, to cope during the next days, weeks, months, years . Thinking of you all
morethan
Hard to know what to say, but wanted to send love and for you to know that we are all here for you whenever you need us xx
morethan ... thankyou for finding the time to keep us informed.....
I cannot find the words, but others have.
Thinking of your family over this time.
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