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My husband has died

(85 Posts)
Kate8 Sat 29-May-21 23:56:24

My husband died on the 30th of April, he was 62 and I'm 56. We'd been married 28 years and I love him with all my heart. His name is David and he had been admitted to hospital 10 days before he died. His illness came out of the blue. We have 5 children and 9 grandchildren and we're numb. David's funeral is next Tuesday. I'm numb, I wasn't ready!

Westcoaster Tue 15-Jun-21 16:16:40

So sorry for your loss Kate8. My husband died in February only 3 weeks after being diagnosed with cancer. I am still shocked, and can't really believe what happened. So much worse with the Covid restrictions of course.

I still cry every day, but not all day. Sorry for all the years I have ahead of me alone, but mostly so sorry for all the things he'll miss. A little granddaughter abroad who he never got to meet, most of the grandkids too young to keep memories of him. He was so pleased to be a grandad and was wonderful with the kids.
I put some good photos of him onto the Echo show and they bring back happy memories of the holidays we've had, the places we've been. They always make me smile.

I hope you have family around you to help you through. Brighter days will come. flowers

toscalily Tue 15-Jun-21 15:11:03

My condolences. Take comfort from your family and friends and take time for those quiet moments for yourself, to grieve, to remember and accept that your sorrow is yours for however long it takes, one day at a time. flowers

MarjieM Tue 15-Jun-21 14:00:48

I lost my husband after 54 years of marriage just before Christmas. All I can say is that if you want to sit and cry for hours on end, go ahead. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. It’s also OK to smile or laugh. I have no idea how long the numbness lasts, but I am told that life grows around the grief, and one day We will be functioning again.

ckred Wed 02-Jun-21 13:39:08

I am so sorry for your loss. My husband died last year. He was not ill, he was 56 - i am 68, he never smoked or drank and was not overweight, he used to play football and table tennis 3 day a week. Even the doctor was shocked. He just got up one morning and had a heart attack. I think the stress of the lockdown affected him as he couldn't get out and do sports and the stress killed him. I felt so numb and felt I had no purpose in life anymore. I didn't find counsellors helped but I had to keep busy, sorting cupboards, planning shopping trips, visiting people where I could. Even now there are many days when I am in tears, the heartbreak doesn't go away but hopefully in time it gets easier to bear. x

GillT57 Tue 01-Jun-21 16:15:54

So sorry for your loss. I hope that you will find comfort companionship and advice on here, when a tragedy hits, GN is always here,you are never alone. Such a tragically young age to lose your husband.

Dottygran59 Tue 01-Jun-21 15:53:57

Kate 8, please let me add my condolences. I'm 62 - it's no age at all. You've had some lovely, heartwarming responses - please keep posting, I'm sure it will help xx

sharon103 Tue 01-Jun-21 15:44:16

So deeply sorry Kate8.
My heart goes out to you and your family. flowers

Shelflife Tue 01-Jun-21 15:42:20

Kate 8, so sad and so unexpected . I am thinking about you and your family. My husband and I are still jogging on together so I have no experience to share with you. I can however let you know that I and everyone on this thread are giving you a 'hug' keep posting , and don't be afraid to express your grief.

ayse Tue 01-Jun-21 15:36:31

How devastating for you and your family. My thoughts are with you xx💐

Kate1949 Tue 01-Jun-21 15:31:41

How dreadful for you flowers

emmasnan Sun 30-May-21 17:36:16

I'm so sorry to hear that, my condolences to you and your family.

hulahoop Sun 30-May-21 17:31:59

There's nothing I can add to what others have said sending hugs and take one day at a time I am glad to see you have family around you .Take care 🌺🌺

Maggiemaybe Sun 30-May-21 17:31:49

My sincere condolences to you, Kate8 and to everyone else in the GN community who is grieving for someone they’ve loved and lost. thanks

Hellogirl1 Sun 30-May-21 16:34:36

I`m so, so sorry Kate8. My David died just over 4 and a half years ago, aged 72, we`d been married just over 53 years. My children and grandchildren rallied round, and they keep saying how strong I am, but I`m not really, just try not to show it too much. I keep thinking "I`ll ask David when he comes in", then it hits me all over again. Keep posting on here, there`s always someone there to talk to.

greenlady102 Sun 30-May-21 16:20:42

I am so sorry @Kate8 I too am a memeber of that horrible club and have been for nearly 10 years now. Life will never be the same again but you will survive because your beloved husband wants you too.

BladeAnnie Sun 30-May-21 16:12:17

Oh my goodness Kate8 - please accept my sincere condolences at this sad time. You are in my thoughts flowers

Elusivebutterfly Sun 30-May-21 16:09:07

Sorry for your loss.

rascal Sun 30-May-21 16:03:25

Hello Kate8 I am so sorry for your loss. Just like you I posted on here. I had just joined and had never posted before. I found everyone so friendly, sympathetic and very helpful. It was comforting to know that there were people out there that understood just how awful things were.
My husband died very very suddenly without warning a few years ago, he was the same age as your husband David. I was in my late fifties. We had been married for nearly forty years. It was a marriage made in heaven. Our family had flown the nest and we had been planning to visit places we had talked about. He had worked very hard through all the years and was going to take early retirement but that was not to be. It was horrendous. Our world fell apart. I couldn't function. You think you will never get over such a shock. Thank goodness for my family. I have found that through time you seem to adjust and move forward a bit and things start to be not so raw. Life will never be the same again. But I had to keep going for my family. Try to just take a day at a time. Don't think ahead. Things will very slowly fall into place. I will be thinking about you. Best wishes. flowers

ExD Sun 30-May-21 15:51:17

I don't have the words to say all the things I want to say to comfort you. Blessings and good wishes, may time help you to look back on the good times you had and comfort you.

Shandy57 Sun 30-May-21 15:36:12

Hello Kate, I am so very sorry to read your sad news. My husband died aged 63, five years ago, and I wouldn't have got through the early years without the on-line support I received at the special site for widows, WAY UP. I hope you have been able to claim the Bereavement Allowance which helps so much if you are having to wait for probate. Take each day as it comes and remember to be kind to yourself. Here's the link -

Justwidowed Sun 30-May-21 15:24:54

Sorry to hear of your loss Kate8 .It must have been a great shock.Apart from relatives, friends and especially neighbòurs can be of great comfort.I also found that WhatsApp helped me ,in that messages and photos kept me in contact with family and friends during Covid.

maydonoz Sun 30-May-21 15:06:55

So sorry to read of your loss Kate. I hope you and your family will find strength and comfort together as you grieve. My condolences to you. Keep posting here when you feel like it.

Blossoming Sun 30-May-21 14:23:23

So sorry for your loss, how sad and shocking for you and your family flowers

Aveline Sun 30-May-21 14:18:28

So very sad. It's very recent and raw for you. I suppose all the formalities are over and you're staring into a very different future. It's good that you have your family and I hope you have a few of the very good friends that we all need to help us over the difficult and painful times. Very best wishes.thanks

glammanana Sun 30-May-21 14:08:36

Kate my heart goes out to you and know only to well how you are feeling it is such a shock for you and your family.
My darling husband died within 10mins of leaving the house to collect our DD to take her to work he pulled up his car and died at the wheel such a shock the worst thing being him being on his own without his loving family around him,even now I expect him to walk back in the house after 18mths and get cross with him for leaving me alone after 45yrs.
I know it will have been said but time is a great healer just keep all your lovely memories of your David close to your heart sending you flowers x