Gransnet forums

Bereavement

My husband’s funeral this morning

(121 Posts)
MrsQuigley Tue 12-Jul-22 08:11:28

Keep wondering how I am going to get through the next few hours. It has been nearly four weeks since his death and seems to have taken ages to get this far. How do you cope at a time like this, the future looks like one big black hole right now.

Shandy57 Tue 12-Jul-22 11:59:14

Thinking of you, it's a terrible day. My husband died suddenly six years ago, his funeral is still a blur.

I do recommend joining WAY UP, I found kindness and practical support from fellow widows during the awful early days of grief.

Dempie55 Tue 12-Jul-22 12:23:05

I am so sorry for both of you. My husband died in 2020, and, because of very strict Covid restrictions at the time, we were not able to have a funeral, he was cremated with only the funeral director in attendance. I am not sure how I feel about that now. On the one hand, I never had to go through what you are about to, on the other hand, I feel guilty that we could not say goodbye to him as a large family. As for the next few months, you will get through it. You will be amazed how you find the strength to cope. But nothing will ever be the same again. Everything is different when you are living alone.

Gillycats Tue 12-Jul-22 12:24:24

I’m so sorry for your terrible loss. Thinking of you x

Georgesgran Tue 12-Jul-22 12:30:19

Dempie55 - a similar situation for me, but we were allowed 15 mourners. It passed in a haze and to this day, I can’t remember many who stood outside the Crematorium to see him arrive and am often surprised when someone says ‘we were there’.
Although it made it an easier day for our DDs and me, it certainly wasn’t the funeral he deserved.

1summer Tue 12-Jul-22 12:52:35

Oh dear my sincere condolences to MrsQuigley and NainCC I am sure you will have strength to get through this.
My stomach lurched reading this as my husband is terminally ill and hasn’t much longer, I feel sick thinking about his death and being without him let alone the funeral and the future without him.
But at the funeral you both will be surrounded by people who loved and respected him, hope that love gets you through the day.

Dickens Tue 12-Jul-22 13:00:46

Oh MrsQuigley I can only imagine how you must feel flowers

When you reach the point where you feel the future is bleak, all you can do is just put one foot in front of the other and get through the day, and the following days - and know that this too shall pass, eventually, and that you can only take life in small steps for the moment.

I hope you get some sense of closure, and that the funeral goes well. You will get through this.

sodapop Tue 12-Jul-22 13:07:36

So sorry MrsQuigley you will find the strength to get through today I know. After that as others have said take one day at a time. Grieve in any way that helps and let others support you where they can. Thinking of you flowers

TopsyIrene06 Tue 12-Jul-22 14:53:03

1summer. I know exactly how that feels, day after day with your heart being slowly broken. One hour at a time. Very hard for you all.

Oldbat1 Tue 12-Jul-22 15:03:07

Such a sad day for you both. I’m so sorry.

Nana56 Tue 12-Jul-22 15:06:42

flowers thinking of you x

SueDonim Tue 12-Jul-22 15:09:43

I am so sorry, MrsQuigley. flowers

mokryna Tue 12-Jul-22 15:09:49

Please accept my sincere condolences MrsQuigley and NainCC. flowers

SueDonim Tue 12-Jul-22 15:11:52

I’m sorry, I missed Naincc’s post. Thinking you too. flowers

ixion Tue 12-Jul-22 15:12:16

I am so sorry for you both and send condolences.
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NainCC Tue 12-Jul-22 15:26:37

Thanks to all for your lovely messages, they do help and the day has passed in a blur. So true that I am grateful that the suffering is over after so many years and that we were lucky to have 45 years together. Gransnet is invaluable, I don't know many widows in real life and so many here have trodden the same path, sadly.

sharon103 Tue 12-Jul-22 16:21:37

flowers xxxx

Hiraeth Tue 12-Jul-22 16:44:47

So sorry for your loss MrsQuigleyi know I’ve been through it . On the day of the funeral I still couldn’t believe it was true.
With time the beautiful memories will keep you going . Grieve
the way you want to. There’s no remedy , everyone grieves differently

mrshat Tue 12-Jul-22 16:52:54

Mrs Quigley and NainCC - condolences to you both. A difficulty day indeed but you will find the strength to get through it. Hold on to good memories and grieve in your own way and in your own time. flowers

Serendipity22 Tue 12-Jul-22 19:57:52

1 day at a time, cry, laugh, hurl a plate at the wall, do whatever helps YOU. So, so sorry you are going through this, take it 1 day at a time xx
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Jaxjacky Tue 12-Jul-22 20:21:51

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Grannmarie Tue 12-Jul-22 22:14:23

Sincere condolences, MrsQuigley and Naincc. Sending love and prayers, for you and all those enduring the pain of bereavement. ???

Luckygirl3 Tue 12-Jul-22 22:34:45

Love and support to both of you MrsQuigley and NainCc - I hope that you have both managed to navigate your way through this very difficult day.

nadateturbe Tue 12-Jul-22 22:45:17

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nadateturbe Wed 13-Jul-22 07:37:01

My thoughts and prayers are with you both, MrsQuigley and NainCC. ?

HeavenLeigh Wed 13-Jul-22 07:51:03

Didn’t want to scroll by, sorry for your loss, such a sad time for everyone, sending you a virtual hug x