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My husbands funeral tomorrow how will I cope?

(133 Posts)
1summer Wed 31-Aug-22 20:56:58

Sorry to trouble you but its my husbands funeral tomorrow and I am having a blip! I have organised everything with my children and they keep saying it will be a wonderful celebration of his life. They did say they would stay with me tonight but said I would be fine but I am not. I feel sick and shaky thinking I can’t go through with it, it seems so final.
Visitors today tell me that after tomorrow I can start grieving I can start a journey of recovery. I want to shout no no no, I don’t want to be on this journey and will never recover.
I almost feel like running away and not going tomorrow but I won’t I have to do this for my family.
I just want him back.

Nannytopsy Wed 31-Aug-22 20:59:20

Of course you want him back. I have no advice but did want to read and pass by. I wish you strength for tomorrow. flowers

Nannytopsy Wed 31-Aug-22 20:59:33


JaneJudge Wed 31-Aug-22 21:00:23

I'm so sorry flowers but you sound normal x
you will be strong enough to do this, let your children support you

Fleurpepper Wed 31-Aug-22 21:00:53

oh lsummer, I am not good with words- but just want you to know your post really touched me, I just can't imagine.

Your children will be there with you and hold your hand, and you can do it, you truly can. And if you break down, then you do- no need for this stiff upper lip, everyone will understand.

Try to get some sleep hugs

Smileless2012 Wed 31-Aug-22 21:02:02

I'm so sorry for your loss 1summer. You'll have your family and friends for support and somehow you'll get through tomorrowflowers.

B9exchange Wed 31-Aug-22 21:03:58

This is a dreadful time for you and there is indeed no easy way through it.

But you will get through it, as your husband would want you to. Of course many people on here will be thinking of you and praying that you feel supported. In 24 hours it will all be over. You won't have lessened your grief, you can only learn to live alongside it in your own time, but you will be out the other side of this particular crisis. It is not too late to ring one of your children and say that you would like company, if that would help. I send you my love and prayers, and a virtual hug!

Hellogirl1 Wed 31-Aug-22 21:04:13

I know just how you feel. My husband died nearly 6 years ago, and I was terrified of the funeral day. But everything went according to plan, with a couple of very nice extra happenings, and that night I slept better than I had in ages. Obviously I still miss him, but it does get better over time. If your family are with you tomorrow, and I`m sure they will be, they will see you through it all. All the Best x

Ali23 Wed 31-Aug-22 21:06:12

1Summer, I am so sorry for your loss and your pain. You will get through it with the help of your family, I’m sure. But yes, it will be tough. Sending you a virtual hug. Please let us know how it went, when you are ready.

MissAdventure Wed 31-Aug-22 21:08:26

I'm not widowed, but I felt exactly the same when my daughter died.
I wanted to run far away, away from everything and everyone.

Forget about looking to the future; just concentrate on tomorrow, as awful as it is, and get through it as best you can. flowers
I'm so sorry to know your husband died - I remember saying how handsome and kind he looked in your wedding photo a while back.

ixion Wed 31-Aug-22 21:11:09

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. You have shared a lot with us along the way and I hope you will feel that we are still with you, both tomorrow and in the future.
I am sure you will find that inner strength for the day.
Thinking of you ?

Joseanne Wed 31-Aug-22 21:11:36

It's because you care and loved so much that you are feeling like this. It makes it very hard.
But you will cope, with your family by your side.

Iam64 Wed 31-Aug-22 21:11:36

1summer, of course you want him back. Your post touched me deeply. It sounds as though you’ve been brave for everyone, telling your children they don’t need to stay ?.

The suggestion you can start a journey of recovery is kindly meant but isn’t what you want to hear now. You will find strength tomorrow. Your loved ones will be with you.
Sending love x

Hithere Wed 31-Aug-22 21:11:47

So sorry for your loss

Please use the support of your family and friends to go through this

foxie48 Wed 31-Aug-22 21:12:28

No words, just sending a hug!

25Avalon Wed 31-Aug-22 21:15:50

You have to do this for your dh not just your family. Of course you want him back but this is the last thing you can do. I don’t know how many you have coming but they will all be supportive and make you realise how others found your dh important. You will probably never get over your loss but you will learn to live with it. Don’t despair. You can do this. Don’t worry if you break down and cry everyone will be looking out for you.

Elusivebutterfly Wed 31-Aug-22 21:16:12

I'm sorry for your loss. I'm sure your children will support you through tomorrow.

Germanshepherdsmum Wed 31-Aug-22 21:22:14

I’m so very sorry. You will get through tomorrow, impossible though that seems just now. We will all be there with you in spirit and your family will be there to help you too. Sending love to you. ?

Greyduster Wed 31-Aug-22 21:22:14

I am so very sorry for your loss. You will get through the day with the help of your lovely family, the same way I did recently. With this last act, you will do your lovely man honour and you will feel better for it. After that, there is no right way and no wrong way but you will all take strength from each other. I will be thinking of you all tomorrow?

Doodle Wed 31-Aug-22 21:26:54

I am so sorry for your loss. Many on GN will know how you feel.
I hope you get through with the support of your family. Our thoughts will be with you. Take care flowers

Grannmarie Wed 31-Aug-22 21:27:56

1summer, I am so sorry for your loss of your dear husband. Your feelings are perfectly normal, of course you want him back and don't want to face the kind of finality a funeral brings. But he will live on in your heart and in your children and grandchildren, so he will always be with you in a different way.
Sending you love and prayers for the strength and calm to get you through tomorrow. Your family will support you throughout, and after that just take one day at a time. Look after yourself. ???

Grandmadinosaur Wed 31-Aug-22 21:28:00

So sorry for your loss and my heart goes out to you dear lady.
Can you call one of your children and tell them how you are feeling right now? Maybe it isn’t too late for someone to come and be with you.

Sending hugs and strength for the night and day ahead.

merlotgran Wed 31-Aug-22 21:29:06

One step at a time. Take comfort from those who are there to support you.

So sorry for your loss.

Doodledog Wed 31-Aug-22 21:29:19

I'm so sorry, Isummer.

Tomorrow won't be easy, but it will pass, and you will have the day to look back on. I will also be thinking of you tomorrow, and hope the collective good wishes of so many grans will help you to get through it.

crazyH Wed 31-Aug-22 21:29:55

Isummer so sorry for your loss. Just think of the love you shared. You will have a lot of support tomorrow …. try and get some sleep