My sister and I had a difficult relationship due to her mental health/personality disorder and her alcoholism. She also had a difficult relationship with mum, frequently refusing to text mum or speak to mum because she didn’t like something mum said or did, such as coming to live in the south near to me because mum knew I would give her support in her old age, which I did. For that my sister refused to speak to mum for nearly five months which grieved mum a lot.
Anyway when mum was dying I put our differences aside and invited my sister to stay with us. I also gave her £400 for her travel expenses because she had no money. After mum died I involved her in everything, the funeral arrangements, the paperwork, the bank details. I went through everything with her. I crossed the Ts and dotted the Is because I know how difficult she can be. I am also aware that she lies and manipulates the truth. I hosted her again for the funeral and when she left I hoped I had done enough by involving her in everything to be above reproach.
Of course I was wrong. She is now reverting to type by sending me abusive texts suggesting that I’ve not allowed her access to any documentation regarding mum (I did, I shared everything with her) and that I’ve removed some Swarovski crystal that she wanted from the flat. In fact I wrapped up all the crystal and sent it via her son to her, keeping none for myself because my mother had told me the crystal was for her. In fact, I didn’t really want it anyway. She has alleged three times that I ‘kept back’ pieces of the crystal. She is also alleging that I’m preventing her from getting her inheritance despite the fact that we’ve gone to Probate and it has not yet been granted. These allegations are making me feel very upset, especially as I’m missing my mother so much.
My sister has always been difficult and I eventually decided to cut contact with her due to receiving frequent abusive texts from her. I always realised that I would have to have to do with my sister whenever mum died. I thought I’d done the right thing. I didn’t expect such nastiness so soon, although I did expect it would resurface at some point. I hoped to be able to get Probate done, complete the sale of the flat, and pay out her 50% share of the inheritance and scatter mum’s ashes before the unpleasantness resumed, and so I was unprepared for these accusations to arrive so soon. It is just so upsetting and adds to the grief I feel. My husband and I have done all the work to clear the flat, give my sister the things she wanted, applied for Probate, sold the flat, in fact all the work that had to be done to clear everything up after a death. My sister has done nothing whatsoever except this latest abusive behaviour. I don’t mind her doing nothing but I do mind the abuse.