Everyday people we miss

I regularly reminisce in my mind about my happy childhood in Birmingham. We lived in a small semi and spent many hours playing in the garden during the summer, watching the express trains to London pass our house in the small valley below.

We count ourselves as lucky now that we over look a large field directly outside the front of our end of terrace house. All the neighbours have benches, chairs etc which we sit out on during the summer, just like people did in my childhood and we wave and chat to each other. We are the oldest couple here, but all the youngsters are friendly with us.

When I invited a friend in the pandemic to visit and we would sit on the lawn, she was very reluctant and wouldn’t come. She likes to hide behind her curtains.

Here is a photo through our stable front door. Our house is modest but I wouldn’t change it for anything.

Last Easter, a dear friend died suddenly. It is only since then that I have fully realised just how much she meant to me. I have been more affected by her death than that of any other friend. Why she meant so much more I am not sure, but when ever I think of her, she is laughing, and we laughed a lot.

Her DH had just been diagnosed with alzheimers and since her death has fallen over a cliff, dementia wise and is in a care home, with no memory of anything, although he remains his usual friendly self when I visit, but it is clear he doesn't know me from Eve, and has absolutely no memory of the friendship our family's shared for over 40 years.

Only the loss of my sister has affected me more. I am close to crying just writing this.

Yesterday was particularly poignant thinking of missing friends.
I was asked how many volunteers there were when the community store was begun. It began trading in 2017 but along with DH, at least 4 of the original team have died.
Infact it's hard to find anyone who can clearly remember the early days.

As for those places we loved.
I grew up in NZ and spent every Summer at my DG house by the sea
I went for a visit 25 years ago and again 10 years ago. The house was still there but the town is different. It's now a tourist attraction.

I miss my husband the most if anyone, my parents and my best friend, it seems there is just me left except for my sister, who doesn't have peopIe visiting. She still has her partner and we call each other each week. If the situation was reversed I would make sure I saw her each week. The neighbours that are left I have known over 50 years, are nice, their children visit them a few times a week and they are happy with that. I see my son rarely, so I get very lonely. I find my house difficult to manage now but moving to another new place is very daunting. It's not easy when older and to go from an area I know to one where I know no one. I would be more loney.
A friend I made on here moved within distance across country from her daughter and is very much part of the family. I dont feel part of a family now. My busy life caring for everyone has gone,so it's natural to miss those whom I was loved by and loved back. Getting old is not for the faint hearted fir sure. Oh dear I do feel sorry for myself, sorry.

MawtheMerrier From the age of 11, away at boarding school, on Sunday evenings I sat down and wrote home, knowing that at home, wherever that may have been at the time, my parents were each writing a letter, one to me and one to my sister.

I continued this through my university years and the early years of my marriage, when we did not have a phone.

When we got a phone, I started ringing every Sunday evening, time varied, I kept that up until my father died in 2007, well into his 90s.

When our children left home and after the unsettled years settled down to their chosen careers, we started ringing them on a Sunday evening - and still do. DS is less regular because of his work, but every Sunday evening, we ring them both, still.

MawtheMerrier

I wonder how many of us who ended up many miles away from Mum and Dad and used to ring our parents at a set time on a set day?
Mine was 7 o clock on Sunday - even if I did also ring at other times) because by their late 70’s and 80’s they liked their “routine”.
They’ve been dead for 22 years, but I still have that momentary urge on a Sunday evening….

I'm the same Maw, mine was 11 a.m. on a Sunday morning every week. My cousin in Wales phoned hers at 10 a.m. so all the family gossip was swapped and we could enjoy lunch. When my mum was on her own it was every day, even on holiday. I always feel it at family times.
Now I am older I can see why she needed it, just reassurance that all was well with the family.
I admit to liking at least one message a week with DDs and they have checked we have got supplies in with the weather and Facetimes booked.
We seem to have got to the age when some bad news happens to friends nearly every week. two husbands picked up with cancer and one died just before Christmas, friends with Osteoporosis.
We seem to lurch from one illness to another. I keep telling myself to take good of the situation and try to live for the day.

I am part of a large family. I miss my aunties and uncles. Most now gone.
My mum is the last one remaining of a big group of her siblings. She has become a bit of a focal point for the nieces and nephews. Partly of her link to their parents. And partly because only she can now answer some of their questions. She is very much still of sound mind thankfully.

I agree life is too short.
I am early 60s. I feel my life has gone in two sets of 30 years so far. I am now looking at my last remaining years and trying to work out what I shold and should not do. And which are the priorities.
Actually I could go on about this part. Perhaps I will write another thread sometime.

I also used to ring Mum on Mondays.
If I was busy and forgot, I used to get a gentle "where were you?"

I used to ring my mum Maw at 5pm on a Tuesday and a Sunday. When they were away my dad used to get the mobile out of the safe at those times!!

I wonder how many of us who ended up many miles away from Mum and Dad and used to ring our parents at a set time on a set day?
Mine was 7 o clock on Sunday - even if I did also ring at other times) because by their late 70’s and 80’s they liked their “routine”.
They’ve been dead for 22 years, but I still have that momentary urge on a Sunday evening….

Goodness Shinamae what a wonderful Enid Blyton childhood you had - I'm very envious!

Shinamae

This is where I grew up.. the chapel next door

beautiful

I miss all my wonderful friends in the Netherlands. I miss the life I had there with the children growing up and the wonderful lifestyle.
Some of my friends are still alive but many are ailing now and nothing is the same when we visit.
We were just so fortunate to be able to bring the children up in such a healthy environment.

Yes, I had a very blessed and a idyllic childhood,obviously it’s my brother I miss
Unfortunately, I went completely off the rails at 15 and didn’t get back on them till age of 28..😔

FionaG

Lovely, my daughter lives near Bideford, where is the hamlet in relation to there, I’ll ask her if she knows the beach!

Its grunta beach at Mortehoe.
Apparently so called because a ship carrying pigs ran aground there. There is also a deep pool we used to swim in called pigs pit… sweet memories are making me cry…(my brother died at age 49,20 years ago.)
It’s the village above Woolacombe..
My brother, and I very young there so obviously not on our own..

Not virtue signalling Shinamae just sharing the joy.

Lovely, my daughter lives near Bideford, where is the hamlet in relation to there, I’ll ask her if she knows the beach!

Shinamae

Shinamae

Shinamae

This is where I grew up.. the chapel next door

And, it was a guest house when I was a child and once my brother and I had done the chores, we would jump over the wall into the field and have a 10 minute run down to a beach and spend most of the day there absolutely idyllic. We were only about eight or nine I think would not be allowed now, but what a free and joyful childhood we had..

And this is the beach, and where I want my ashes to go when the time comes……

Hmmm hope I’m not virtual signalling!!!..🫣😬😂

Shinamae

Shinamae

This is where I grew up.. the chapel next door

And, it was a guest house when I was a child and once my brother and I had done the chores, we would jump over the wall into the field and have a 10 minute run down to a beach and spend most of the day there absolutely idyllic. We were only about eight or nine I think would not be allowed now, but what a free and joyful childhood we had..

And this is the beach, and where I want my ashes to go when the time comes……

Shinamae

This is where I grew up.. the chapel next door

And, it was a guest house when I was a child and once my brother and I had done the chores, we would jump over the wall into the field and have a 10 minute run down to a beach and spend most of the day there absolutely idyllic. We were only about eight or nine I think would not be allowed now, but what a free and joyful childhood we had..

For 15y I used to go to Es Caña in Ibiza for a week in September, with my mum, her sister and mum’s best friend. All 3 wonderful women are no longer in my life and I miss them very much. We used to stay in the same hotel, loved the staff and the small horseshoe bay on the flat. One year I proposed a change ‘how about trying Portugal?’. “No thanks we love it here!” they said. So that’s what we continued to do. Although I’m sad and I miss them, I’m grateful for all those very special times and memories we made. I still chuckle thinking of funny moments we shared. Lucky me. Happy Days!

My H and I moved to this estate 55 years ago with our two year old D, our S was born two years later.
The houses were new and most people were young families who had moved here from away.
We made some very close friends and most friendships have lasted.
Out of a group of about 16 only one of the couples have both survived , they are 83 and 81.
Two of the couples have both died, 3 of us are widowed.
I would love to relive just a week of those past very happy times.

I live in the village my parents and I moved to a month before my 15th birthday, have lived in the same house for 34 years.

They settled in mainland Europe a few years later, I shuttled between the two locations as did my eldest child, the younger ones were more inclined to only visit when I did despite the choice of long school holidays spent on a beach.

It’s a comfort tinged with sadness to be in both much loved locations. The sadness being so many of my parents peers have died and now it’s my age groups turn.

Shinamae, that's lovely. I am envious.

That is lovely Shiname, you were lucky to live in that beautiful part of the country.