What will be the date of death?

It seems to me OP’s question has been answered.
Many of us will have memories of being at the death of a loved one - in my case my father and my DH, and I take comfort in knowing I was there. But everybody’s experience will be different and apart from instances where perhaps inheritance is concerned - does the time or date really matter all that much?

I have no idea at what precise time any of my family died.

Apart form anything else, my mother and aunt died in their sleep. They were just found dead.

I actually also find it very difficult to remember the exact dates that people die on by the second anniversary. I will remember all their other life dates in detail and the month of their deaths.

My sister died on Good Friday or Easter Sunday, depending on the defintion of death, my mother early July, my father early November, but more detailed than that I cannot go. Whether it is a protective mechanism, or what, I have no idea.

My mother died on Easter Sunday. She always came to me on a Sunday from her care home, she had last stage dementia. I always hoped she would pass away at my house with me, but my work schedule changed, and I was working that day.

I took my dad to hospital and stayed with him for about 6hrs till he was settled on a ward, I then went home thinking I would return next day to take him back home to his bungalow, as we didn't think it was serious, but he passed away just an hour after I left. They said they tried to phone me but was phoning my brother as he was down as the next of kin, [his phone was switched off]. I was so upset about it all, it was such a shock! I've never looked on the death certificate for time of death, I will now check that out. Learnt a lot from reading this thread.

So sorry to everyone for their sad loss

Just as a matter of interest, does the next of kin have a right to decide what date is put on a gravestone etc. if they know for certain that the date of actual death was different from that on the certificate?

Good point Oldnproud

Gravestones are not always so specific. Although of course they can be - as the next of kin ordering the stone will agree what is to go on it.
Generally the year suffices.

You can put whatever date you like or no date at all

Foxygloves

Gravestones are not always so specific. Although of course they can be - as the next of kin ordering the stone will agree what is to go on it.
Generally the year suffices.

But if the next of kin wants to be very specific, perhaps precisely because the actual date of death is different from that on the certificate, is there anything to stop them doing that. Can a stonemason, for example, put exactly what they say?
I would like to think that is the case, but for all I know there might be rules / laws in place that require such details to match the death certificate.

pandapatch

You can put whatever date you like or no date at all

Thanks pandapatch.

That's sort of what I imagined to be the case, but I wasn't sure.

For the bereaved family upset by the discrepancy between the actual date of death and that recorded on the certificate, I imagine it at least gives some comfort being able to have the correct one on the gravestone or other memorial.

Yes it is important that time of death is on the certificate. But imagine the shear trauma suffered by a young neighbour of mine. He was caring for his mother at home. She was due to go back to hospital in a few days time.
He put her to bed but by the next morning she had died. He rang the GP to get him to sign the death certificate. GP refused to come. GP lives/works only 10 mins away. Undertaker could not do anything until death certificate had been issued.
So he rings the police and two officers turn up. They ring GP but still he won’t come. They ring the Coroner but it takes 2 hours for her to reply. She instructs the GP to certify the death. Finally GP turns up for the 10 minutes it took.
What a waste of police time they took a good 4 hours just to cover an obstinate GP.
Oh the hospital had forgotten to tick the “palliative care “box
Not a good experience for a very gentle 50 year old who was wanting the best for his mother.

Lofty47

Yes it is important that time of death is on the certificate. But imagine the shear trauma suffered by a young neighbour of mine. He was caring for his mother at home. She was due to go back to hospital in a few days time.
He put her to bed but by the next morning she had died. He rang the GP to get him to sign the death certificate. GP refused to come. GP lives/works only 10 mins away. Undertaker could not do anything until death certificate had been issued.
So he rings the police and two officers turn up. They ring GP but still he won’t come. They ring the Coroner but it takes 2 hours for her to reply. She instructs the GP to certify the death. Finally GP turns up for the 10 minutes it took.
What a waste of police time they took a good 4 hours just to cover an obstinate GP.
Oh the hospital had forgotten to tick the “palliative care “box
Not a good experience for a very gentle 50 year old who was wanting the best for his mother.

Oh that is horrific!

My best friends Mum was in a care home, and had only recently been moved there (N. Wales to the Midlands) because someone at the home reported that a carer had spat at her!

She had been there a few weeks, had never been seen by the new GP, and wasn't written up for any end of life medication.

My friend, her daughter was called late evening by the home telling her that she really ought to go in as her mum was deteriorating. She arrived to find the carer looking after her in tears as she didn't know what to do, as her mum was choking. The GP wouldn't come out, there was no medication with which to help things along, so my friend who many years ago trained at \Great Ormond Street as a Paediatric Nurse asked if there was any suction. Fortunately the care home was attached to a nursing home so the carer ran to get it. Sadly, although it helped a little, her mum literally drowned in her own secretions. What is about GP's nowadays? It's their damned job! My SIL had this problem during Covid, the GP's would not come out, and wanted him to certify the death, which he refused to do, as it wasn't HIS job. This is what my esteemed MP Danny Kruger thinks is a far better option than 'Assisted Dying' ... I think NOT!