Hope you don't think I am crass, but I do need advice

So sorry!

Anticipatory grief is part of the process you may be going to go through and therapy is so helpful

Your needs matter too - so glad to recognize that

Start making a care plan and decide what you can do cs what you don't have the knowledge or physical strength to do

You won't be able to fully take care of him because it is not a realistic expectation

Weeping is a very normal feeling right now - choose the right place to feel them, suppressing them is not a good idea

Things get better once you know the diagnosis and treatment plan - this is the worst moment of the whole journey

Carve some time daily for you to decompress

If you have pets, have a support system that can petsit in case of emergencies

You have the initial shock, it will get easier, when you know the prognosis you will make your plans, this happens to most couples, a friend is going through this now.
After several rounds of therapy it’s palliative care, prognosis is less than a year, they are doing all the things they didn’t do, for as long as they can, there are good and bad days of course.

You should do as much as you can for as long as you can, you are only going to get limited help from social services, when mum became immobile I was able to find local paid help to give me some respite, you will be surprised who is willing when you start asking.

Oh grandtante my heart goes out to you. It’s such an awful shock isn’t it? I howled in the shower where I played the radio too - that and the sound of the water camouflaged my own noise. It’s beyond devastating isn’t it?

P.m. me any time. I don’t like to say too much about our lives now on a public forum.

My husband died of metastatic prostate cancer this time last year.
At first, he wouldn’t tell any one, but I persuaded him that his children needed to know.
The only thing I can say is that I followed his desires as far as possible. When I cried, it was in private. Accept help from any agency offering it - MacMillan was a waste of space but the community nurses and hospice were fantastic.
Be strong, sadly you will have plenty of time to fall apart later. It is a horrible, horrible time…

Sorry to hear your news. Can’t offer any experienced support but I’m sure many will be able to relate and do so. You are both in shock. Good luck for Friday and do accept all the support that is offered professionally.