Missing someone

Miss A missing someone lasts a life time some days it's okay and other days it isn't. I lost my mother when she was 53 that's 50 odd years ago. People thought I was alright as I husband. My first he bought me a Kenwood Chef as though that would cheer me up and everything would be fine! My lovely second husband I lost just after covid, a tumour on his lung, all the things the matter with him and it was something else. Then my best friend literally nearly all my life knowing her, was starting to suffer from dementia. I couldn't tell her about my husband and a couple of months later she to passed away. I felt totally at sea. Who does one talk to? I am a Christian and He is probably what kept me going really, to know that they are both well and I will see them again sometime. It isn't easier though for a Christian but to have someone to talk either Him or I know I can also phone anyone from church. I'm very blessed but can be as sad as the next. It's normal to grieve at odd times and over the years our memories are what keeps our people with us. All the happy and sad times you've shared. Sorry I have ramble on, thank you. If you got this far x

Miss A, I feel heartbroken for you, my parents died over 30 years ago and I still think about them every day, love never dies.the love you had for each other is still around, I think her arms will be around you at this moment xx

So sorry for your loss MissA. I lost my husband of almost 52 years just over 2 years ago and it often still feels really raw. I go through days of crying and thinking how cruel life was for him in his last years and feelings of guilt thinking I should have done more to help him and try to make what we didn't realise were his last days happier. I then seem to get over it a bit and carry on until a few weeks later it all builds up again. Life can be so sad and lonely. Take care.

Sending hugs x
Us Gransnet lot are always here xxx

I did get right through to the very end, and I had to smile at the Kenwood Chef part.
I think people are a bit at a loss, knowing what to say or do, at times.

My work colleagues booked me in to see "We Will Rock You", as they thought it might "cheer me up a bit".
It's a lovely gesture, of course.

I have always imagined it might be a little easier for someone who is sure they will see their person again, but it seems not.

Also for those who have lost friends, it seems very hard, too.

I hadn't really considered that - feeling as if my grief is the worst.
That's another thing that happens through bottling it all up, I guess.
There, now you've listened to my ramble... zzzz.... zzzz...

It was a year last Monday since my DH of 42 years marriage died. I put a brave face on every single day and get on with life. Anyone asks how I am, I smile and say I'm ok. I am not ok at all. I'm missing him so much and just want him back with me. I'm still bottling up the grief and it's so tiring keeping it all inside. I just can't let it out though.

It will come out, one way or another, though.

It's very hard if you're not a natural at expressing your emotions, I know.

I also sometimes think if I don't acknowledge it, it'll all go away and I can pretend, for a little while.

I often wonder if it will ever get better. Whether significant or just a standard uneventful day I seem to be floating between thoughts of DD - lost 5 years ago and DH lost 2 years ago. I can speak of them now without a sudden silence to compose myself but thoughts, they never leave. I try to convince myself it is no longer grief but memories only. Not sure I am having any success. There, I've spoken with MissA and all others who read this.

Anybody struggling, I'm not trying to fix it but Julia Samuels is good. Thanks

I’m looking at two very serious situations with my dh and also one of my DC and I don’t know how I’ll be able to go on into the future. I have good things in my life, too, but the prospect of never being happy again is overwhelming at times. It was all snatched away in an instant.

4allweknow

I often wonder if it will ever get better. Whether significant or just a standard uneventful day I seem to be floating between thoughts of DD - lost 5 years ago and DH lost 2 years ago. I can speak of them now without a sudden silence to compose myself but thoughts, they never leave. I try to convince myself it is no longer grief but memories only. Not sure I am having any success. There, I've spoken with MissA and all others who read this.

It's a good start.

💐 to all and thanks to Miss A for starting the thread. My brother died a few weeks after my mum, all alone, not wanting visitors because of fear of COVID. Breaks my heart knowing that.

MissAdventure

Oh I've had counselling, but talking doesnt take away the bare fact that I miss my daughter. Sometimes its liveable, and i can pack it away in a box on my head.

Other times I can't.

Just wanted to say I am so sorry about the death of your daughter. I know how I would feel in your situation, so I just wanted to let you know you are in my thoughts.

Hev61

It was a year last Monday since my DH of 42 years marriage died. I put a brave face on every single day and get on with life. Anyone asks how I am, I smile and say I'm ok. I am not ok at all. I'm missing him so much and just want him back with me. I'm still bottling up the grief and it's so tiring keeping it all inside. I just can't let it out though.

I can relate to your post. It’s now over four years since my husband died and although I carry on living a reasonably happy life, it’s painful.
Like you, I put on a brave face for the sake of my family, but I think they are aware that the light has gone out of my life. They broke the mould when they made him.,

Oh how sad.
That really is awful.

It's terrible as well when you keep mulling it over, I find.
Terrible but necessary...

It is such a huge, far reaching, and long standing process, this grieving.
I had no idea...

Thank you, crossstitchfan, and everyone else who has "braved"this thread.
I also know there are others who haven't wished to, but have had terrible losses, too.

Mine isn't a recent bereavement, by the way.
7 years, soon.

P.S. I don't put a box on my head.
I meant in

for you, MsA. Joining you in your thoughts.

MisAdventure I am so sorry you are feeling isolated and sad at the moment.

I lost my daughter too, nearly four years ago, and my mum just after her. Every day I think about them, often regretting the things I didn't do or say. That is the hardest part because it can never be changed.

Thank you for being brave enough to start this thread MissA and I’m so sorry to read you are struggling. I can’t imagine how painful it must be to lose a child. It’s beyond cruel. I admire you for soldiering on and trying to remain upbeat. Some of your posts on other threads make me laugh out loud and I know I’m not the only one who is cheered up by your contributions. So thank you 💐

My heart goes out to all of you who have lost loved ones and those who are facing serious health concerns with your nearest and dearest. SueDonim I’m so sorry to read of your worries. Your sad post moved me to tears. I hope you find some light at the end of the tunnel 💐

My closest friend of over 30 years died very suddenly 5 months ago and I’m still struggling to get my head round the fact that she’s gone. We were chatting and laughing on the phone just a few hours before she died. We spoke most days, went for long walks, shared our problems and often laughed till we cried. I miss her so much and life just isn’t the same without her.

I know from experience exactly how you are feeling. The loss is sometimes too much to bear. Sending my love to you and all other people who are missing someone tonight.

Miss A I think this thread shows that there should be a permanent thread on GN about bereavement. So many people carrying on day to day pretending to be ok because that’s what’s expected of them or because they don’t want to upset others.
I have offloaded on GN the things I don’t tell my family about how bad I feel.
Allsorts I could have written your post myself. I feel really guilty because I have put myself out there. Joined things, made new friends cemented friendships with others and do my best to keep occupied and keep myself going but every day I think is this it now, my life. I’m forcing myself to meet people because if I stay home I’ll just drown in sorrow but I very much feel what’s the point. I just want to be with DH. Never needed anything but him and we were so very happy together.
Now I’m just existing day by day. I never thought it would be this bad. I’m hoping over time things will get better and I will start to enjoy life again. I will never be content. That’s what I really miss. That contentment and peace of being with Dh.
So many people have posted things here which resonate with me.
I am so very sorry to all those who have lost children. I can’t imagine that sort of loss.
Hope the thread continues and people can actually say how they feel because I’m sure many just bottle it all up.
Thank you Miss A

I used to feel 'safe' when my DH was here, if there was a problem he would always know what to do and get things sorted. I now live in a permanent state of anxiety about what's going to go wrong next, will I be able to cope etc. So many things have gone wrong in the last 2 years and I've eventually got through most of them, some still continuing and I try to tell myself I've got through this, that and the other OK so I can cope but it doesn't work and the anxiety doesn't go away.
I was having a good day last week and had to go to the hospital for an X-ray. I was completely floored when I was asked if my husband was my next of kin, the receptionist had to repeat the question and I was just speechless, just didn't expect it and was struck dumb. Luckily she looked up and saw the tears and just said sorry and left it at that.

Yes, I understand that.
My daughter was my "sorter outer".
She would take things in hand, and deal with them.

Not that I necessarily need that, but it was good to know she was on my side, sometimes.

I'm struggling..... I lost my DH, Rock, Best Friend and Soul Mate a couple of months ago. I'm truly heartbroken and just want to give up... I don't want to tell my family and friends how I feel.... I just keep it all to myself...
Sorry... Just need to offload.

I'm so sorry for all of you who are feeling lost snd struggling too. know reading all your posts I'm not alone I wish we could all get together for a group hug.....with love to you all ❤️💐