Still brokenhearted

I don't think we should have to pay any price. We are all doing our very best.

So sorry Doodle. Anniversaries are a painful reminder and there is no time limit on how long it hurts.

Dear Doodle. I know how much you miss him. I wish there was something I could say to help but I can't.

You never get over it but I promise
you, you do get used to it. even though you don't want to
❤️🩷🧡💛💚💙🩵💜🤎🖤🩶🤍🩷🧡💛💚

Just sending you so much love Doodle
❤️

So sorry 💐💐💐💐💐

Sympathy from me too Doodle 💐

Having lost an adult child, I have days when I feel part of me has died as well. So I get it, Doodle, and send love ❤️

Dear Baggs what you have lost is a whole different area of grief. I cannot imagine how hard it is day by day for you 💕

Thank you all for your lovely thoughtful and caring posts. My darling man would be pleased I have so many find friends here.
For all those suffering the same loss, thank you for sharing. My thoughts are with you too 💐💕

I’m so sorry, Doodle. It must so hard to live without that one person who truly knows you as you. My heart goes out to you. Xx

Sometimes I ask myself if I should try to stop grieving. But the thing is, grieving sort of keeps him with me. I try not to let it show when I'm with others.
Doodle the army of widows on Gransnet are a source of help to me and I send thanks to them all and special sympathy to you tonight

Those We Love Don’t Go Away
They Walk Beside Us Every Day,
Unseen Unheard But Always Near
Still Loved Still Missed , and very Dear
So sorry for you Loss,

Sending hugs.
I lost my husband 18 months ago. I am lucky that I have both my daughters and their families nearby including two young granddaughters. We only moved near them 6 months before he died so I am determined to make the most of my time with them. My son-in-law got me involved in the local bowling club where there are several people in my situation.
I have also joined an online group called Jolly Dollies which is for widows. They have groups all over the country and meet for coffee, meals etc. I'm sure there are people on there who would be happy to meet one to one or in a small group if you wanted. There is only a small group where I live and we haven't had a meet up yet but we chat on WhatsApp.
Take things at your own pace. He will always be with you and I'm sure he would want you to find peace and happiness xx

Oh Doodle How I wish I could take away your pain. The man of my life died just over 5 years ago, the shock eases but the pain of not having him here still grips me and I plummet into grief and misery with a true ache in my heart but I also experience times of happiness. Its this what keeps us going and hopefully will help you. It could be a long haul but its really not just one day at a time but sometimes 1 hour. Be kind to yourself.

I'm sorry for your loss. The first anniversary is probably one of the worst days there is. Hopefully, you won't feel quite so bad once this big anniversary is over.

So sorry Doodle, so many cliches are said to grieving folk, for instance’ time heals’ . It doesn’t but what it does do is make you stronger and more able to deal with the loss My beloved has been dead 33 plus years, I still miss him every day, occasionally a smell, song or something quite small will dissolve me. I suspect most of us are the same. Be good to yourself, value every day you have and just do the best you can, there’s no time limit or correct way to grieve and have a good sob whenever and wherever you are. Best wishes to you.

Dear Doodle, I'm a day late but sending love and understanding. My dearest husband died 16 years ago. I know I was emotionally unwell for 2 or more years and then slowly, slowly, some healing and acceptance comes creeping in. All of us who were lucky enough to have wonderful marriages will miss that person for ever. In the end they are a part of who we are now. We haven't lost them, they are part of us. Hold on. I wish you comfort.

SaxonGrace - what a long long time. My heart goes out to you too.

I've been widowed for 17 yeas. Most of the time I'm just fine but sometimes its the little things that make me burst into tears.

I firmly believe a broken heart can never truly mend, we each live with our grief in different ways. My husband was very clever, he was considerably older than me and he made me promise that when I was left without him (note, “when” not “if”) I would not sit around weeping and grieving, but try to be as happy as possible and live the rest of my life as fully as I can, and I have tried to keep that promise, not always successful, but in the main I know he would be pleased with my efforts! I still miss him terribly, every day is a real effort,even after six years, but then I think of my promise and smile xxxx

Doodle I can't believe it's been a year since your darling husband died. I call the first 10 years early grief. After 21 years I still miss and talk to my husband everyday. The grief gets worse as the years go by for me as my husband has missed so much . The hardest time of the year is the date he died and Christmas.

I am glad you don't hold back the tears. I was foolish and thought I had to be brave so I waited until I went to bed . But I was 45 what did I know about grief or being on my own.

When the other half of you dies in my experience half of me died to and haven't been whole since . I went from living with my parents to living with my husband we married next year . Next year I already dreading as it will be 22 years since he died and we had been married 22 years but a couple for 29..

There is the old saying it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. But it doesn't cover the bone crushing grief that can hit you out of the blue . People expert you to get over grief as if it's some illness that you take a tablet and it clears up. Grief lasts a lifetime. But you learn to cope but it takes years and years . Even now I can shout at my husband for leaving me which sounds wicked but then I see him with that stupid grin on his face as if to say feeling better now . And funny thing is I do.

Doodle cry and express your grief in anyway which is right for you. 🌹

Same goes for all who have lost the other half of yourself to.🌹🌹

I feel so sorry for you. It's 3 years since my husband died. I don't cry every day but I still have times I when I'm feeling lonely and cry at losing him. You do learn to live without him but life has changed forever. I can now smile at our holiday photos when they pop up and think how lucky I was for over 30 years. Take it slowly I tried grief counselling but it didn't help me. I booked a holiday on my own after 9 months it was a hard thing to do, but that really helped me to begin living my new life.

I am there WITH you. I am so very sorry for your loss. For me it’s 3 years. Of course the heartbreak does not go away. I choose to believe he is here with me always. I speak to him all the time. You and I carry on because there is nothing else we can do. I have the living world to care for so I’m needed here and busy, but also incredibly lonely. Someone said something I heard once which helps me a little and in sharing I hope it may help you and others…so here goes...”it is not possible to “get over” losing someone who we (still) adore, nothing gets “easier” or “less” with time. But we gradually get used to how it feels and learn to live alongside that feeling.” I am privileged to have known him. I am so sorry that I can’t provide you what you want most of all, no one can, but please know that you are not alone and let him comfort you during those quiet times with your shared memories, in your mind you can be together whenever you choose and no one can take that from you. 💐

Doodle I haven’t been around GN for quite a while and didn’t know you had lost your DH.
Oh bless you both, I am so sad to learn this.
I am sending you all good thoughts and a camellia from the garden, incase it helps to raise a small smile.

Nortsat what a beautiful flower such a lovely colour.
Thank you to everyone who had replied to me. There are a lot of caring people on GN and so many in the same position of having lost the love of their life.
It’s so kind of you all to share your experiences and your comforting words. Thank you all for helping over the last few days. 💕💕