Recent raw bereavement

My condolences too.

You know, most life insurances are not paid out in the case of suicide - cold comfort I know, but the fact that the man cancelled his policy, rather points to the fact that he had at that point made up his mind to take his own life.

Surely there are bereavement or grief counselling groups for children in the UK`? A local clergyman, GP, or your grand-daughter's school should be able to give you an address and telephone number for one.

It amazes me that any country allows parents not to leave at least a minimum sum to their child.

I do hope you can all get some help with all the problems you are facing right now.

Rowantree

Louisa they weren't married....also any bereavement grant wouldn't be applied because they separated a few months ago. We're finding doors slamming in our faces everywhere we look for help. I'm staying with them for a few days here and there, to help with basic stuff: she's struggling with washing and there are clothes everywhere. The house is tiny with little storage and that doesn't help keep on top of things. But now I've got a tooth infection and am in pain, so my OH insisted I come home and rest and go to an emergency dentist appointment tomorrow.
To make matters worse, the other granddad is expecting us to pay for most of his son's funeral ( he's offered to 'contribute '.). Somehow we'll need to talk to him about this. Our daughter and granddaughter will need our financial support for some time to come till she's on her feet ( if that ever happens). His sons debts are a huge worry and an unknown.

Other granddad wanting you to pay -- you merely decline.

I'm sorry

Thank you to you all for your kindness. We have now got two solicitors: one is disentangling the horrendous financial mess ( at great expense but it has to be done). The other will investigate the circumstances surrounding the course ov events leading up to death of X and if the coroner decides it's complex enough to invoke Article 2, we might have help with funding. Otherwise there will always be huge questions and who knows, answers could prevent a few deaths in the future.
We are still living with the shock and total horror of it all, and it's caused differences of opinions in the wider family which has been very very painful to deal with. DGD is having therapy and the school are being wonderfully supportive. DGD is socializing with friends sometimes which is healthy. We're trying to strike a balance between giving her space and encouraging her to talk about her dad, and doing 'normal ' family things together as much as possible. I am finding myself feeling incredibly weepy, 'clingy' and lost when I don't see my daughters and grandchildren ( both daughters have a child each) but I recognize that isn't healthy and I don't want to make it their problem, but it's a daily emotional struggle ( yes I know it's selfish).
We continue to try to take things day by day. The funeral is towards the end of the month and I'm dreading it, as are we all.
Nothing we find out will bring him back , but we will never be the same again and emotionally I don't know if I can move past feelings of hopelessness and fears of separation from my daughters.

Rowantree
I must have missed this thread when you first posted but wanted to say how sorry I am for your loss, for all of you in these extremely sad circumstances.

It's understandable that you want to cling extra tightly to your daughters and grandchildren at this time, our children might be adults but we still want to protect them.

I hope you can find some practical help from the links on this thread.

I am so sorry. Most people have said what I would have said, so I won’t repeat myself.
However, you mustn’t feel selfish about the way you feel.I am sure anyone in your position would feel the same.
I am not clear w

Crossstitchfan

I am so sorry. Most people have said what I would have said, so I won’t repeat myself.
However, you mustn’t feel selfish about the way you feel.I am sure anyone in your position would feel the same.
I am not clear w

Cont’d.
I am not clear why you fear separation from your daughters, but I hope that won’t happen.
As for the request for payment that came from the other granddad,you simply have to put that odious man straight about the way it works. Tell him straight that you will not be paying. This can be done in two words, and the second word is OFF!
Things seem horrendous now, but they will improve, I promise. Hang in there and come back here for moral support whenever you need it.💐