Loss of brother

My brother had a life saving operation just recently because of blood clots. It was such a shock as it was out of the blue. He was told there was a 50/50 chance of survival only before the operation.

So very sorry for you hearing your brother has died. I am sure you have wonderful memories of him that you will have forever. A wedding is a joyous occasion not easy when you are grieving give it a miss xx

I’m sorry for your loss, readandcook. I lost my younger brother in January. We were very close and there’s no way I’d have been able to go to a wedding if my mother had still been alive.

My sincere condolences on your loss. Your post resonates so much with me. My younger brother died aged 59 almost 2 years ago from cancer after being ill for 2 years. My dad was 91 at the time and he passed away four months after my brother. I had been caring for him for the last year of his life.

I still miss my brother every day and there would have been no way I could have attended an occasion such as a wedding so close to losing him. My dad died a few days before new years eve and my partner thought we should go to my neighbours' house as usual on new years eve so I agreed. I had to leave after about an hour because I just couldn't copy with the small talk, even though I was with friends. I spoke to my other brother and my SIL the next day and they felt exactly the same as I had.

I think you have to go with your gut instinct. If you and/or you mom are feeling emotionally fragile, you should stay at home. I hope you make the decision that feels right for you. Best wishes.

Give it a miss, be with your Ma.

JaneJudge

I’m sorry about your brother losing a sibling is such a loss and to see your parent lose a child is heart breaking.

I was going to say it might be nice to attend the wedding and just have a break from it all, a change of scenery? Could one of your other siblings come and stay with Mum? BUT if your instincts are telling you otherwise you must do what you feel is right

Think I agree here.

Your nephew will understand, but you will not get this happy event back. ATM funerals seem to take ages.

Your mum must have known this was coming, even if the actual event is still a shock.

So sorry to hear this. I am sure it would be best if you stayed with your mum.

If you really don’t want to miss the service they may have an internet link for far flung family and friends. Every occasion we’ve been invited to since lockdown, weddings, funerals, graduation, have been organised like this for those who can’t travel or live too far away. It’s worth asking.

Sorry for your loss Readandcook. Do what you feel right and if that's being with your mother anyone would understand.

Sorry for your loss a bit late to this one. I loss my brother a year ago. The last few weeks before he died we had a wedding to attend. We didn’t go and it never bothered me again. You do what feels right for you. No one will judge you we all handle things differently. What ever you decide, take care x

I m so sorry for you snd mum but in answer to your question NO I definitely would not attend the wedding and I m sure they will understand You need to be quiet at home with your mum, my feelings anyway

Silverfoxette75 deepest sympathys, for someone else who has lost an adult sibling.

I lost my brother 4 weeks ago to MND, he was 52 😢 i couldn’t even consider going to a wedding right now.

I’m sorry for your loss, it’s a horrible time

Flutterby: it's an awfully long way to go for a couple of hours. Also they may not have 2 cars as DH would be staying presumably.

On reading your words, I think that you already know inside what you feel you should do.

Condolences.xxx

Firstly my sincere condolences.
You should be proud of yourself with all you are doing when, as you mentioned, naturally you are grieving yourself.
I do hope you have either children or nieces and nephew who could help you during this difficult time.
All I can say, take care of yourself and your husband’s relation will understand the reason if you chose not to attend the wedding

I would say if feasible put in an appearance. Back of the church, congrats to the couple then leave. Depends how close you are to the relation marrying.

I think your dh going has added to your conflict. He doesn’t mind what you do so it is entirely down to you. Nobody can tell you what to do. The problem with grief is that you have no idea how each moment is going to take you. Bursting into tears at a wedding would be awful and it could easily happen so I agree stay at home with mum. You want to be there for her when she has a bad moment but she may well be there for you too.

Perhaps send a note of love and congratulations, adding an apology for not attending. I'd not go, but I'm not good measure as I wouldn't attend a nephew wedding, regardless, at such a distance.

So sorry for your loss.
No don't go.
Now is the time to hunker down with mum.
All the best.

I would still go.
But I have not had as much grief as some, so may not be the best guide on this.
I would hope his family would understand how sad you will feel, if you do go.

I think I would give the wedding a miss too…….if it were more local and just a few hours it might be possible but for the whole weekend it does seems rather extreme and I doubt you’d enjoy it.
So sorry for your loss too 💐

My deepest sympathy.
My little brother has been ill recently and I had to think how awful it would be to lose him.

A shame the wedding is now but as others have said, in the state you and your family are in, it would be too sad and too far but I don't know your family and maybe you would regret not going more than going.

My deepest sympathy to you all.
They will totally understand. You won’t be in the right headspace to enjoy the atmosphere. No I wouldn’t go if I was you.

I so sorry to hear about the loss of your brother, if I put myself in your shoes, I don't think I'd go, I'd want to be with my mother at this time , I'm sure you oh nephew will understand.

Readandcook I'm so sorry for you and your Mum but I really think its the time to be together. I would give any celebratory events a miss for a little while and allow yourselves to grieve.