Loss of brother

I think id give it a miss Readandcook. I don’t think you would enjoy it and it would be stressful , thinking of your dm.
It would be different if it was nearby and you could go for a couple of hours.
Upsetting for you too, thinking of your db.

I wouldn't go Readandcook and I'm sure your husband's nephew will understand.

My sincere condolences for your loss .

Read&Cook So sorry for the loss of your dear brother . I wouldn't go to the wedding, you will not be in the mood. I had an occasion to go to the weekend after my dad died and I just couldn't even contemplate it.

I learnt this morning that a good friend's husband has just passed away, quick aggressive cancer, I had no idea he was even ill, such a shock.

I agree. You are grieving , your Mum is devastated and needs you - you need each other now. Give your apology and send your love to the couple, They will understand. I send you and your Mum my sympathy.

I wouldn't be able to go. And the happy couple may prefer not to have a friend who will be freshly grieving to attend.

I'm so sorry for your loss Readandcook - it's so tough when you're supporting a grieving parent but you are grieving yourself. My thoughts are with you.

I agree with everyone, I would give the wedding a miss. Your Mum (and yourself) are your priorities right now. I'm quite sure the bridge and groom will understand.

First my deepest sympathy on the loss of your brother. It is 18 months since my brother died and I still feel his loss every day.

Is your DH going to the wedding anyway? If so then I think people will understand, we can never plan for these things to happen.

However, I will also add that my own dad died just a few days before my brother's wedding.

The wedding went ahead, and the funeral just two days later. It was a very stange time but life goes on...

In this respect if you decide to go, nothing wrong with enjoying yourself, either.

My deepest sympathy. It is 34 years since my sister died, but I can remember how raw the grief was.

Do not go to the wedding. You will be much better staying at home with your mother, and I agree with Gummie, not so much that the bride and groom will not want you there, but other guests who know you both will be conflicted between joy at the wedding aand grief at your loss and the happiness of the wedding may increase your feelings of isolation and loss.

Yes my husband is still going as he is doing a reading. He is very supportive also losing his twin brother 4 years ago.

I’m sorry about your brother losing a sibling is such a loss and to see your parent lose a child is heart breaking.

I was going to say it might be nice to attend the wedding and just have a break from it all, a change of scenery? Could one of your other siblings come and stay with Mum? BUT if your instincts are telling you otherwise you must do what you feel is right

Readandcook I'm so sorry for you and your Mum but I really think its the time to be together. I would give any celebratory events a miss for a little while and allow yourselves to grieve.

I so sorry to hear about the loss of your brother, if I put myself in your shoes, I don't think I'd go, I'd want to be with my mother at this time , I'm sure you oh nephew will understand.

My deepest sympathy to you all.
They will totally understand. You won’t be in the right headspace to enjoy the atmosphere. No I wouldn’t go if I was you.

My deepest sympathy.
My little brother has been ill recently and I had to think how awful it would be to lose him.

A shame the wedding is now but as others have said, in the state you and your family are in, it would be too sad and too far but I don't know your family and maybe you would regret not going more than going.

I think I would give the wedding a miss too…….if it were more local and just a few hours it might be possible but for the whole weekend it does seems rather extreme and I doubt you’d enjoy it.
So sorry for your loss too 💐

I would still go.
But I have not had as much grief as some, so may not be the best guide on this.
I would hope his family would understand how sad you will feel, if you do go.

So sorry for your loss.
No don't go.
Now is the time to hunker down with mum.
All the best.

Perhaps send a note of love and congratulations, adding an apology for not attending. I'd not go, but I'm not good measure as I wouldn't attend a nephew wedding, regardless, at such a distance.

I think your dh going has added to your conflict. He doesn’t mind what you do so it is entirely down to you. Nobody can tell you what to do. The problem with grief is that you have no idea how each moment is going to take you. Bursting into tears at a wedding would be awful and it could easily happen so I agree stay at home with mum. You want to be there for her when she has a bad moment but she may well be there for you too.

I would say if feasible put in an appearance. Back of the church, congrats to the couple then leave. Depends how close you are to the relation marrying.

Firstly my sincere condolences.
You should be proud of yourself with all you are doing when, as you mentioned, naturally you are grieving yourself.
I do hope you have either children or nieces and nephew who could help you during this difficult time.
All I can say, take care of yourself and your husband’s relation will understand the reason if you chose not to attend the wedding

On reading your words, I think that you already know inside what you feel you should do.

Condolences.xxx

Flutterby: it's an awfully long way to go for a couple of hours. Also they may not have 2 cars as DH would be staying presumably.

I lost my brother 4 weeks ago to MND, he was 52 😢 i couldn’t even consider going to a wedding right now.

I’m sorry for your loss, it’s a horrible time