Hello
I need to clear my parent's home.
I recenty lost my dad who I used to look after for decades without help from family until he was 96, lost my mum 35:years ago, only family in UK is my sociopath brother who makes Trump look like a nice reasonable guy.
I can't drive, have no savings, no job since I was a carer ( although still looking after another elderly friend who is bedbound and like family to me).
My own small flat is full of junk from my past that I can't seem to throw out as I find it too emotionally difficult.
My very wealthy brother has taken everything he wanted from my parents' flat. Now it's up to me to sell, auction, or dispose of all the rest on my own.
But every piece of furniture and everything in the flat is just full of memories, feelings, or is problematic to transport or to sell.
Each time I enter my dad's flat and try to clear it I immediately get a terrible tummy upset and have to run to the loo every few minutes, today my nose also started to bleed heavily while trying to sort through things, and I just then had to sit down, and look at things in this flat feeling totally overwhelmed by memories and grief.
Years of being a carer have left me without friends to help me.
My flat is small and currently full of rubbish and my son's stuff, he lives far away abroad and cannot help, but he doesn't want me to throw any of his things away.
My parents would really have wanted me to take some of the furniture, anything antique, and family heirlooms such as 4 big dinner services, etc.
I am paralysed with emotion and indecision, I don't understand auctions, yet I need money, I don't feel able emotionally to sell things on ebay or online, again I have little experience of doing this and with large items am reluctant to allow strangers into the home to collect, I can't even take good photos on my phone! I don't feel able to deal with this momentous task at all.
I need support or advice, I am an emotional wreck each time I travel to my dad's flat, which is a distance from where I live. I was kind of thinking of taking some of the smaller items that might be saleable in a suitcase back to my place. My brother doesn't want any of it or to help . The property must be empty by mid June. But what about the beautiful old table we ate all our family meals from or all the items that my mother said were too precious for me to touch or use throughout my childhood. Do they just go to some charity shop ir house clearance company? Surely if I have no room or transport keep them at least I should try to muster up the courage to sell them to someone who would also value them?
Anyone got any tips? Emotional or practical?
A BIG THANK YOU
The world has too much "stuff". Our children don't need more "stuff". Things that I have paid thousands for are now sellable for zero because no one wants stuff anymore. Different generation. Different values.
I suppose that's not true of everyone and everything Macaydia.
My daughter is delighted to have my mother-in-law's washing machine for example.
There are probably very few things we have paid thousands for though.
Macaydia
The world has too much "stuff". Our children don't need more "stuff". Things that I have paid thousands for are now sellable for zero because no one wants stuff anymore. Different generation. Different values.
If that is the case why is so much sold at auctions, boot sales, charity shops etc.
What we need is more people to buy more secondhand 'stuff' and less new 'stuff'
Try contacting a local auction house and ask if anyone would come out to assess if anything was suitable for them to sell. They charge commission but it might be worth it to have an expert tell you what can be sold by them.
Yes MOnica donate, recycle, recycle.
Upcycle
If you are going to post a coffee set you will need to wrap it all very very well in newspaper or bubble wrap then put it all in a box. Then you need to put the packaged box into a bigger box and puts lots of packaging in the inner wall of the bigger box and the outer wall of the original box you have packed the coffee set in. You could state "collection only" then you wouldnt have to be posting it. Stereo's are becoming more popular and will sell well. You could list the large furniture for sale and state "collection only" also. It is good to post as many photos as you can, on ebay I think you can post 24 photos and add a very good description. You can search for similar items to the ones you have to sell and get an idea of the prices items are selling for. In most areas there is a website called "Freecycle" where you could list items to give away and again, collection only. Good luck.
Hi, I had to clear my own home when my husband died. He was a hoarder with many interests- hundreds of war books, tools, musical instruments, electronics and radios etc. I started off EBay-ing stuff, but it took so LONG, what with all the wrapping and posting, that’s when I called in the auction house. They are not all posh, there will be someone near you who handles everyday items. I think I contacted them by email first, explaining my situation and then then replied suggesting a home visit. The auctioneer was so understanding and supportive, it was an absolute relief. We arranged a date for their team to come and collect everything to take to their storage place. (Took several trips with their van!) So then I just had to wait for the auctions, one auction was held every fortnight. If there were no bids for an item, it would simply be carried over to the next auction. I think it took about 8 weeks for everything to sell, then I got the money (minus their charges for doing the clearance and a percentage of the auction sales money.) This is good because you don’t have to find money to pay the auction house up front. Honestly, it was such a relief to walk through my empty house and garage! Don’t give yourself the hassle of selling stuff by yourself, it will take years!
Such great advice Dempi55 and 8 weeks is no time at all.
This is something I can share with my family as we will be having to go through this at some point too!
Yes, more money via Ebay etc but such a lot of effort!
Registering is free, easy, and means you can join the discussion, watch threads and lots more.
Register now »Already registered? Log in with:
Gransnet »Get our top conversations, latest advice, fantastic competitions, and more, straight to your inbox. Sign up to our daily newsletter here.
