August book club - The Mother-In-Law by Sally Hepworth

Crocky

The Mother-in Law by Sally Hepworth

My first book by this Author and I have enjoyed reading it. It is very thought provoking and highlights the importance of communicating clearly to your loved ones, listening, asking questions and not supposing that people know what you are thinking about.

The Diana states in her final message to her children:-
‘I could have written more, but in the end, there’s really only two pieces of wisdom worth leaving behind. I worked hard for everything I ever cared about. and nothing I ever cared about cost a single cent.’

As a Mother-in-law myself I felt closer to that character though I could never countenance the breaking of a beautiful vase, not because of the value but the beauty of it’s creation.
I am afraid I pictured her in my mind as Diana Rigg the Actor straight from the beginning.

So my question to Sally is :- Did you picture Diana as Diana Rigg in your mind? and if so who was Lucy?

Hi Crocky,

I never pictured Diana Rigg (although I can see now why you might have thought so!). I never picture actors and actresses when I create characters, they are always real living breathing fictional people to me. That said, I’ve been told that Annette Bening would play Diana well and I agree with that.

cornergran

I also enjoyed this book. As the mother of sons and mother in law to two women I was a little concerned that the book may just portray a stereotype. Far from it. I found all the characters believable The moving from past to present and back again was easy to follow and logical, answering questions I had about the characters as I read. The book reminded me of the importance of words not said and how they can impact others and burden relationships.. I found this an unusual, easy to read and captivating book while also wondering about the origins of Tom and Diana’s wealth. My question to the author is did she base Diana on a real person/people or is she totally fictional? I shall look out for other books by this author.

Hi Cornergran,

She is totally fictional. Although I’ve heard authors say that each character is a third yourself (the author), a third someone you know, and a third made up. So maybe that’s the case?

lynnalex

Sorry forgot to ask a question. Did you base Diana on anyone you know as her character is very complex and sometimes contradictory? Thank you.

She’s fictional. But as above, elements of her may be pulled from real life.

angie95

Hi Sally, do you base your characters on people you know ?
Thank you
Loved your book xx

burwellmum

Thank you for my copy of 'The Mother-in-Law' which was a quick, enjoyable read but not my usual fare. Even though I have a very difficult relationship with my mother in law I couldn't really believe in the one portrayed in the book and I would have to ask whether Diana or her relationships were based on someone Sally knows?

Thank you both! See answers above.

hulahoop

Really enjoyed this book liked how it flitted from past to present giving history about each character . When I read what Diana had done with her will i thought what a nasty thing to do , then read the reason why she did it I thought very clever . I would like to ask Sally her opinion on assisted suicide ?

Hi Hulahoop,

I’ve asked myself this question many times. It’s hard to have a strong option without having to face the situation. I went to a meeting of a pro voluntary euthanasia group in preparation to write this book, and I found their philosophy very compelling. At the same time I can’t imagine having to choose this for myself or a family member. So I remain on the fence.

GeminiJen

This struck me as a very Gransnet theme for a book. Given how many Gransnet threads relate to family issues and misunderstandings, you could be forgiven for concluding that there is possibly no relationship more prone to problems than that between daughter-in-law and mother-in-law

Set in Australia and told from the perspectives of the mother-in-law Diana and the daughter-in-law Lucy, the chapters alternate between past and present as the who-dunnit of Diana’s death is unravelled. The author handled this well, developing the key characters into more rounded individuals with strengths, weaknesses and mixed motives, people you could empathise with.

The scenes which were replayed by Lucy and Diana in turn were cleverly done too, highlighting how easy it is to misunderstand and misconstrue, and the lasting impact of what we mean to say but don’t. The story of the necklace lent to Lucy on her wedding day served too to symbolize how very hard it is to switch on to a better footing once something has become a matter of resentment.

As others have already mentioned, there were a few niggles around the time scale, stemming from the editorial blurb on the back cover. Also the lack of a back story for Tom and Diana’s wealth. That said, I found this an easy, enjoyable read.
Thanks to GN and Sally Hepworth

I’d like to ask the author whether there are any plans to adapt this for film/TV; also, does she have any preferred actors to portray the key characters?

Watch this space regarding the TV series, Geminigen! And I always find it hard to cast celebrities as my characters as I’ve always had a particular idea of how they look, and it’s rarely exactly like a real person. That said, I think Annette Bening would do a good job as Diana. And I’d like to see Rose Byrne play Lucy. But I think many actresses could play these roles well.

Anj123

My question to the author is, “what inspired you to write this novel?”

My father-in-law! He was bugging me about what I was going to write about next and I joked that it would be about a woman who murdered her father in law. Then I thought, actually that’s not a bad idea, especially if I substitute father-in-law for mother-in-law!

boo2410

Thank you for my copy of the Mother in Law. I enjoyed the story and like other posters I didn't mind the flitting backwards and forwards. I'd like to ask Sally where she got the inspiration to write this book? Also did she know where the characters were going before she started to write the book or did they evolve and change as the book progressed? Thanks again for the book!

Hello! See inspiration above. I did have some idea of what was going to happen before I started, but the characters always surprise me. They did surprise me a little in this book.

ranorman45

I finished this book in the day as I wanted to get to the conclusion,as seems to be a popular style at the moment this book jumps around the timeline giving the chapter up to each character at a time.It is quite thought provoking,how do others perceive us ?do we give people the true impression of ourselves and should we sometimes let the veneer slide and do things spontaneously? Life has so many twists that we sometimes do not realise what is happening until it's too late,I wonder if such a twist inspired the author to write this book and if she had come across a character such as Diana who was just too scared to let her true self through and as a consequence missed out on a lot of joy that she could have had! It will certainly make me think more about the way I act as a mother in law!

Hello ranorman45,

The perspectives were chosen because of my belief that if we could only see things from each other’s point of view - and step into their shoes for a little while - so many relationships would be improved. I had a feeling that miscommunication was a big factor behind the fraught mother-in-law /daughter-in-law relationship, and I wanted to explore that.

hugshelp

Thanks for sending me a copy of The Mother in Law by Sally Hepworth. I found it a really engaging book that I didn't want to put down. I could really relate to it. I didn't always get on with my own MIL and I found it quite thought provoking.

I'd love to know if the author had any personal revelations during the writing about relationships in her own life or if the character development was already totally set in her mind before putting pen to paper.

Hi Hugshelp,

Good question. I always learn something from my books, and this was no different. That said, I already had a good relationship with my mother-in-law so there were no revelations there. But writing the book did remind me that being kind, being clear, and trying to understand where the other person is coming from, is integral to all relationships.

mumu54

Sorry, forgot to leave a question. I wondered how you decided what to describe in detail and why? Thanks

I don’t know that I ever make a decision. I put my fingers to the keyboard and see what comes out. When I’m in the head of a character I find that I notice what they would notice, smell what they smell, believe what they believe. So a child character would notice a dog, a marshmallow on a nearby plate at a coffee shop, his mum’s angry face. And a busy adult running late for a meeting would notice the time, the traffic, the lack of car parking.

Miniperson

Thank you fro my copy of “The Mother-in-Law”. I thoroughly enjoyed it and found it difficult to put down. It was well-written with good character and plot development. I will certainly be looking for more books by this author. It made me wonder what Sally’s relationship with her own mother-in-law is/was like?

Hi Miniperson,

I have a great relationship with my mother-in-law (which is the main reason I was able to write this book!)

cja

Would Diana have had a better relationship with her children if she had less money?

Good question. What do you think?

Merryweather

I have been fortunate enough to win a copy of The Mother In-law. I read feverishly for seven hours straight. During that time I found myself with mixed emotions. One minute chuckling another with tears streaming down my face but underneath all of this was the desperation to reveal the truth about this family.
I’m still intrigued by the dedication and would love to hear more about Peter.
However, Diana and Lucy’s relationship goes from strained to one of love and acceptance of each other. Where did you find the inspiration for their characters. The spoken word is as important and the unspoken word, regrets of what we should say, wish we hadn’t. Do you think many modern relationships struggle between mother and daughters in-law because of this? Traditionally is is because of boundaries overstepped, words taken out of context, lack of support and help. It was a thrilling read one very different to my initial expectations.
I can see this being adapted for cinema - who would be your ideal star to play each character?
As a reader I’m hungry for more. Will there be a future release of Tom and Diana the early years? Or of Lucy and Ollie with their children and relationships with their new extended family?

I’m now off to kindle The Family Next Door, I had a copy but a friend borrowed it and failed to return it. I was a few chapters in and was as riveted to that as I was The Mother In-law. Truly brilliant writing which kept me guessing to the end which is something that rarely happens.

Thank you x

Hi merryweather,

Yes I think communication- what’s said and what’s not- plays a big role in the difficulty of this relationship. As for who would play the roles, as I’ve said above, I think Annette Bening would do a great job as Diana. And Rose Byrne would be a great Lucy.

And yes, Tom and Diana - the early years - is a great idea. I would love to write that book.

MayLady64

I'd like to ask Sally which character she found the easiest to create and why?

Diana was the easiest. She just sprung to life, with all her opinions and backstory intact. I love it when characters come to me fully formed like that.