ex carers not married abandoned after death of a partner

poormare

It sounds as if the experience of not being a legal partner in anyway was almost as devastating as trying to find the money for the funeral, etc., poormare

I wonder if the widows pension will continue at all under the new system? As we treat people more and more as individuals for pension purposes, etc., I do feel the "living together" rules will need an overhaul.

You have used your experience in a really positive way in order to help others. This is very brave and I hope helps you in return.

I'm sorry to see that you took out a loan to buy a mattress when your partner would certainly have qualified for an NHS air mattress.

I hope anyone else reading this who is intending to buy equipment for a dependent will fully explore what they are entitled to beforehand, and learn from poor's experience.

As an aside, I didn't think there was still such a thing as a government Widow's Pension, at least for new widows - I thought they were phased-out some time ago.

Riverwalk you are correct about the "Gov Widows Pension" there is no such thing now...... as I am a new widow and under pension age...I was put on "Bereavement allowance" (age 59 is £111 a week) you are paid this for 12 months, then in my case I am to go on "Jobseekers" think that is around £72 a week. on Bereavement allowance you do not get free perscriptions if you are under 60) whilst £111 per week may seem ok..they assume that you only need £72 a week to live on...the rest they (the GOV) is excess income and is means tested.(eg no free prescriptions, as a single person you are entitled to some discount on your community charge and also a small reduction. Things have drastically changed in this are over the last few years and I don't think people realise until the time comes when it effects them. I had been a carer for dh for many many years, but this July will be excpected to sign on (or whatever it is they do now) and search for a job, where as I should really have been classed as retiring in October at 60 I now have to wait until I am 67 , hence need to find a job for the next 8 yrs (if anyone will have me that is)

this is such a sad state of affairs and seems very unfair on women who have devoted the best years of their lives looking after loved ones. Families are often criticised in the press for placing their sick and vulnerable relatives in homes. Well is it any wonder when they are faced with choices such as these. I would have liked to have spent more time with my now dead relatives at the end of their lives but was unable to because of the moving of the pension age. But thankfully I am not in the unenviable postion as some of the people on this thread. More from luck than design. There for the grace ..ect ect

This is tragic for those left behind.

But I just can't understand why, knowing that this is the case, and this is well publicised- why do people not put their affairs in order, and marry or make and make a proper will- to protect their loved ones???? The wedding can just be a quick registry affair and signature- and nothing more????

I don't think it is that well known or well publicised. There is a common perception that "common law marriage" has legal status. I have a friend who had no idea that there married people have a great deal more automatic protection under the law than those who live together.

Well, let's hope that if others are in a similar situation- they will be able to put things right asap. In my opinion, long-term partners should be treated in the same way as spouses- but it is NOT the case at present.

just to clarify that we were marred (prob seems obvious in the thread "dh" in fact it would have been our 35th wedding anniversary on Monday, although we had been together 40 yrs.

It can be difficult to put your affairs in order, especially arranging funeral cover prior, as when you only have a certain amount coming in each week, the last thing you think of is putting it into a funeral plan, we ourselves could not afford insurance as due to health/illness the premiums were just too high, any spare money we/I had went into making dh life more comfortable and I don't regret a penny of it, even though now I am deeply in debt and on a DMP he was worth every penny.

As far as Marriage goes...it does seem that that little bit of paper means an awful lot where the "aftermath" is concerned so yes I suppose getting married for some may be the answer I don't know.

The thing I would advise to people now..is to look at ahead at plans for funerals, also the marriage side of it...I was talking to a friend yesterday, whos brother had died in Canada in November..he had no money and she (his sister over in here in England) had to pay for the funeral (£5,000) as she was the next of kin. I can sympathise with poormare and anyone else in a similar situation. You have to dig deep for any information , no one is forthcoming, and perphaps a dedicated thread On GN would be a good idea or maybe a Professional person (webchat) could come onto GN where we could ask questions as it is a very serious/upsetting/distressing subject and for them that have no one to turn to is awful.
I can only speak from my experience which is still very raw, but as each case is different then its sometimes difficult to give out the correct information. The CAB have been helpful and also the GOV website (what happens when someone dies) not a good topic , but there is no getting away from it..Even this morning I have Solicitors letter on the mat from a company trying their very best to get any monies out of me to pay off a small CC that dh had in his name, when they already know there was no assets/no money/no insurances etc no savings.(apparently most CC are written off when a person dies, but these are after blood!).etc etc so looks like another phone call to CAB today....sorry long post but could write all day..take care all...